cornerofmadness | Help my depression

give this meme a shot Give me a title to a story you think I should've written, including (if you wish) fandom and pairings, and I'll write a summary who knows you might inspire me to write something.

Why am I depressed? Not ONE student thought my kitty cd-rom was cool. No one looked at it. Hell, they barely wanted to dissect. Whine all you want guys, these kitties have to last 8 more weeks. They ain't going to get any better smelling. Yes you must cut into them. No, you can relax I will NOT touch you with my gloves if they're dirty so if I touched you you know I'm barehanded or freshly re-gloved. Yes I DO put my tools in my pants pocket. I'm used to touching this stuff and being covered in toxic goo, relax. I'm not dead yet. Yes, i DID touch it with my bare hands. Just don't you do it. If you scream, you best be gushing blood and not because embalming fluid spat at you! And yes you will all be vegetarians by the end of this because I can't help making food references. Deal with it. Pathology/Physiology/Anatomy are ripe with these analogies. It makes a quick point

Dear Student #1 - okay, so you've done this before, telling me that does NOT make me let you out of lab. I put YOU in charge of helping your fellow students.

Dear Student #2 - Asking me which labs the lab practical is one while I'm HANDING OUT the test makes me want to embalm you. Don't do it.

Dear Lab Company - don't know where the fuck you get these anemic cats but damn, either you send me catzilla or some scrawny bastard even I can't find the muscles on.

Dear Students in general - you've beaten me. I'll only put two muscles from the cats on the exam Latissimis Dorsi and Serratus Anterior. You got a 50/50 shot so expect me to ask you WHAT THEY DO!! And expect these cats back when we get to organs and no whining then or else I'll pull the organs out and tag them sans reference points. I swear it.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

1. Subcuteaneus

2. Following

3. ...And In This Corner

4. Crash and Burn

5. Return Post

6. Circling My Heart (hee hee hee)

And your students need to be shot. Do you have your toys at the office still? Come in and pop a few random ones with that whip.

maybe you should just dissect them?

Do NOT tempt me

**Hugs** Sorry to hear that your students are being such wussies. Personally when you mentioned the Cat cd-rom, I kind of got a little green around the gills. The thought of dissecting anything makes me go green around the gills.... but you know what that's why I decided a future in liberal arts (or possibly chemistry and physics) was the route for me to .... and definitely not anything that had labs where I had to dissect something.

Anyhow.... to help take your mind off your students:

Anatomy for Beginners - Spike & Drusilla.

ooo bullwhip, yes that could be the ticket.

Will look at titles tomorrow. thanks

will work the title tomorrow thanks.

There is no biology here that doesn't dissect something and we make even liberal arts people take it. No one escapes me (cue evil laugh)

See if that had been the case, I would not have gone to that school. That's how much dissecting grosses me out. Seriously if I had been told that in order to graduate from SFU, I had to take a biology class, I would have been "See ya." Unless I could find one where you only dissect plant life. That I could have handled.

i can't think of a liberal arts school in this country that would not require one biology class

If you can't get them to listen to you one way, SCARE THEM TO DEATH.

/is evil

I am sooo lucky to have gone to school in Canada, our liberal arts platform definitely did not require that.

i think I did that when I said no more test make ups. Do it on time or you get the oral exam from hell

Your students astound me. But then, so did 50% of my classmates in college. I loved biology. I even loved dissection. (Although we didn't do cats. We did pigs. But that's okay 'cause I think the cats would've made me cry, but I managed to keep my mind away from all Charlotte's Web allusions while cutting open pigs. I even named mine. But I don't remember what I named it now.)

The only time I remember screaming/squealing/getting queasy is when I accidentally burst some organ or other and some really foul-smelling substance was excreted. I think, if I recall, that it was the pancreas. Maybe. I dunno. It's been a few years. All I remember was the stench, and the fact that I turned a little green around the gills and my lab partner (who was content to write all the names down on the paper while I poked and prodded the actual pig) got nervous because she thought she was going to have to start doing the cutting.

I also remember the day one of the snakes got loose in the classroom and I went scrabbling over the floor on my stomach, diving under desks, and caught him. The workstudy student who helped me re-tank him was muchly impressed - which was fine with me because he was about the yummiest thing I'd seen. Sweetheart and cute as a button. But apparently snake-wrangling wasn't enough to make him ask me out. But then again, he was shy, so... *grins*

We (Workstudy Boy and I) did meet up at a concert a few weeks later, unexpectedly, and he slammed me with a full-body hug and a, "OH MY GOD! How are you!?" And after he left with his friends, every single girl around me was like, "Holy shit, who was that and how do you know him?" *giggles*

See, girls, if you'd just learn to handle snakes you'd get a lot more boys. *innocent*

Wow. Dana, you're WAY too easy. Two muscles? We used our cat until it...died some more.

We did labs on upper body, then lower body, then we dug in to look at digestive system. Plus they were totally funky, some with their eyes half open and their tongues sticking out. Funny..in a mean way. But I thought the cat labs were really cool, we ended up having to pick out a bunch of the tendons in the forearm - which was so hard because they were tiny. But again very cool lab.

Maybe I'd totally be a mean teacher..but Lats? Dude, could you BE any easier? I say challenge them if they're going to be all stupid.

Oh! I got so tied up in biology that I forgot all about the titles meme. So. Here. Make one Roy/Riza, one Maes/Roy, and the rest you can pick whatever you want.

1. Snake Charmer (heh)

2. Mouse Skating

3. Persephone's Last Breath

and because I made ELD do a Spanish title...

4. Puedo Escribir

Mouse skating???You don't want to know where that took me. will give these a try tonight

You don't want to know where that took me.

*blinks*

Well, after you're done, I'll tell you where it came from. *Grin*

Title.. title.. first thing that comes to mind..

"Connor And The Studded Bullwhip"

My mind's in the gutter this morning.

Mine didn't. You had to take a science/math class but it didn't have to be Bio. I was a comp-sci major and didn't take any lab classes. I didn't have the time.

that's not a title, that's a porno waiting to happen!

yeah i think I've written that one already

here you have to take one bio and one chem/physics

That's probably almost as threatening as a bullwhip.

I could that. I think i have done that

I remember in the science class I didn't take in college (cause I wanted to hang with Chyki in the class he was taking), the prof insisted that everyone name their dissection pigs.

As for handling snakes...oh, I could tell a story or two. But I'm good.

you could practically hear the air whooshing up tightning assholes

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