Help my depression

[cornerofmadness]

give this meme a shot Give me a title to a story you think I should've written, including (if you wish) fandom and pairings, and I'll write a summary who knows you might inspire me to write something.

Why am I depressed? Not ONE student thought my kitty cd-rom was cool. No one looked at it. Hell, they barely wanted to dissect. Whine all you want guys, these kitties have to last 8 more weeks. They ain't going to get any better smelling. Yes you must cut into them. No, you can relax I will NOT touch you with my gloves if they're dirty so if I touched you you know I'm barehanded or freshly re-gloved. Yes I DO put my tools in my pants pocket. I'm used to touching this stuff and being covered in toxic goo, relax. I'm not dead yet. Yes, i DID touch it with my bare hands. Just don't you do it. If you scream, you best be gushing blood and not because embalming fluid spat at you! And yes you will all be vegetarians by the end of this because I can't help making food references. Deal with it. Pathology/Physiology/Anatomy are ripe with these analogies. It makes a quick point

Dear Student #1 - okay, so you've done this before, telling me that does NOT make me let you out of lab. I put YOU in charge of helping your fellow students.

Dear Student #2 - Asking me which labs the lab practical is one while I'm HANDING OUT the test makes me want to embalm you. Don't do it.

Dear Lab Company - don't know where the fuck you get these anemic cats but damn, either you send me catzilla or some scrawny bastard even I can't find the muscles on.

Dear Students in general - you've beaten me. I'll only put two muscles from the cats on the exam Latissimis Dorsi and Serratus Anterior. You got a 50/50 shot so expect me to ask you WHAT THEY DO!! And expect these cats back when we get to organs and no whining then or else I'll pull the organs out and tag them sans reference points. I swear it.

Comments

Let's see if I can find fun titles for you

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

1. Subcuteaneus

2. Following

3. ...And In This Corner

4. Crash and Burn

5. Return Post

6. Circling My Heart (hee hee hee)

And your students need to be shot. Do you have your toys at the office still? Come in and pop a few random ones with that whip.

Re: Let's see if I can find fun titles for you

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

ooo bullwhip, yes that could be the ticket.

Will look at titles tomorrow. thanks

Re: Let's see if I can find fun titles for you

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

If you can't get them to listen to you one way, SCARE THEM TO DEATH.

/is evil

Re: Let's see if I can find fun titles for you

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Subcuteaneus -(Angel) What is he under the skin? Demon? Human? Neither? Connor thinks he’ll go mad trying to figure it out.

Following - (Wolf’s Rain) - Toboe doesn’t know why he’s so compelled to follow Tsume, after all the older wolf is nothing but mean to him but somehow he can’t seem to let go.

...And In This Corner (Fullmetal Alchemist) - Sometimes Winry thinks Ed braids his hair too tight. What other explanation is there for him challenging Flame to another fight after what happened last time.

Crash and Burn - (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Just when Buffy thinks she has both vampires out of her system and she’s ready to move on, here they come again to wreck things.

Return Post - (Fullmetal Alchemist) - She looks for the return post every day but letters from him never arrive. What’s a girl to do when she gets tired of waiting?

Circling My Heart (Fullmetal Alchemist) - A perfect square, husband and wife, commander and adjunct, the four of them circling each other in a strange love ‘triangle’ that few would understand and the military would never accept.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

maybe you should just dissect them?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Do NOT tempt me

[aaronlisa.livejournal.com]

**Hugs** Sorry to hear that your students are being such wussies. Personally when you mentioned the Cat cd-rom, I kind of got a little green around the gills. The thought of dissecting anything makes me go green around the gills.... but you know what that's why I decided a future in liberal arts (or possibly chemistry and physics) was the route for me to .... and definitely not anything that had labs where I had to dissect something.

Anyhow.... to help take your mind off your students:

Anatomy for Beginners - Spike & Drusilla.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

will work the title tomorrow thanks.

There is no biology here that doesn't dissect something and we make even liberal arts people take it. No one escapes me (cue evil laugh)

[aaronlisa.livejournal.com]

See if that had been the case, I would not have gone to that school. That's how much dissecting grosses me out. Seriously if I had been told that in order to graduate from SFU, I had to take a biology class, I would have been "See ya." Unless I could find one where you only dissect plant life. That I could have handled.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Anatomy for Beginners - Spike & Drusilla - Drusilla teaches Spike all the best places to drink from and where to get the best screams, teaching him anatomy one victim at a time.

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Your students astound me. But then, so did 50% of my classmates in college. I loved biology. I even loved dissection. (Although we didn't do cats. We did pigs. But that's okay 'cause I think the cats would've made me cry, but I managed to keep my mind away from all Charlotte's Web allusions while cutting open pigs. I even named mine. But I don't remember what I named it now.)

The only time I remember screaming/squealing/getting queasy is when I accidentally burst some organ or other and some really foul-smelling substance was excreted. I think, if I recall, that it was the pancreas. Maybe. I dunno. It's been a few years. All I remember was the stench, and the fact that I turned a little green around the gills and my lab partner (who was content to write all the names down on the paper while I poked and prodded the actual pig) got nervous because she thought she was going to have to start doing the cutting.

I also remember the day one of the snakes got loose in the classroom and I went scrabbling over the floor on my stomach, diving under desks, and caught him. The workstudy student who helped me re-tank him was muchly impressed - which was fine with me because he was about the yummiest thing I'd seen. Sweetheart and cute as a button. But apparently snake-wrangling wasn't enough to make him ask me out. But then again, he was shy, so... *grins*

We (Workstudy Boy and I) did meet up at a concert a few weeks later, unexpectedly, and he slammed me with a full-body hug and a, "OH MY GOD! How are you!?" And after he left with his friends, every single girl around me was like, "Holy shit, who was that and how do you know him?" *giggles*

See, girls, if you'd just learn to handle snakes you'd get a lot more boys. *innocent*

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I remember in the science class I didn't take in college (cause I wanted to hang with Chyki in the class he was taking), the prof insisted that everyone name their dissection pigs.

As for handling snakes...oh, I could tell a story or two. But I'm good.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Oh I've always always been snake girl. I'd hav enamed my pig Wilbur...in fact in H.S. I think I did. I splashed embalming fluid in my eye today. the most fun I had was sneaking out frog eyes in HS and during lunch pinned them to the hamburger buns of the popular girls while they were busy styling away from the table

[ba4ever.livejournal.com]

Wow. Dana, you're WAY too easy. Two muscles? We used our cat until it...died some more.

We did labs on upper body, then lower body, then we dug in to look at digestive system. Plus they were totally funky, some with their eyes half open and their tongues sticking out. Funny..in a mean way. But I thought the cat labs were really cool, we ended up having to pick out a bunch of the tendons in the forearm - which was so hard because they were tiny. But again very cool lab.


Maybe I'd totally be a mean teacher..but Lats? Dude, could you BE any easier? I say challenge them if they're going to be all stupid.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Iknow I am way too easy. My students just leave a lot to be desired. I decided to add some upper arm/leg muscles too

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Oh! I got so tied up in biology that I forgot all about the titles meme. So. Here. Make one Roy/Riza, one Maes/Roy, and the rest you can pick whatever you want.

1. Snake Charmer (heh)

2. Mouse Skating

3. Persephone's Last Breath

and because I made ELD do a Spanish title...

4. Puedo Escribir

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Mouse skating???You don't want to know where that took me. will give these a try tonight

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Snake Charmer- (X-Files ) Scully had hoped that she had seen the last of Dr. Blockhead and the Conundrum but she and Mulder cross paths with them at their new ‘circus,’ a place with a very strange snake dance act.

Mouse Skating - (Full metal Alchemist ) Winter days are long but Riza never thought the boys would do anything this retarded. Several of Mustang’s men later, she finds herself nursing a battered Roy hoping he’s learned, betting, ice and mice do not belong in the same sentence.

Persephone's Last Breath - (Star Trek: The Next Generation ) Picard rarely allowed himself personal liaisons but when the beautiful new mythology scholar comes aboard the Enterprise, he can’t help himself, even if it means his death.


Puedo Escribir - (Fullmetal Alchemist ) Maes didn’t know what he was getting into when he asked Roy how to write in the ‘language of birds.’ Who knew his naked body could be transformed into a canvas for alchemic artwork and that this much could be had doing it?

[vampedvixen.livejournal.com]

Title.. title.. first thing that comes to mind..

"Connor And The Studded Bullwhip"

My mind's in the gutter this morning.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

that's not a title, that's a porno waiting to happen!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I could that. I think i have done that

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Connor And The Studded Bullwhip - In going through Angel’s doors looking for cash to go out on the town, Connor comes across something that scars him for life.

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

And thus I remember why I did NOT go onto any medicine branch.

Is it wrong to admit that you made me laugh outloud in the middle of the ecafé? And I mean howl.

As for titles. Hm

"Time's Up. Welcome, Sun."

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

nope it's okay to laugh at me and my students.

cool title will add to the colelction

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Time's Up. Welcome, Sun - After everyone dies in L.A., Connor hunts down those who betrayed his father. Harmony is the first to get captured. She has to free herself or meet the dawn