cornerofmadness

There are only so many hits you can take in one day. Let me sum them up.

1. Starting at midnight I was getting nauseous. It woke me up at 3 AM. Luckily I didn't get sick and it was over by morning.

2. I drag myself to the BMV with the proper paperwork to get my real ID. No one is there and I'm like whoo hoo, gonna sail right through. And I did until I asked the question 'when can I expect this to be mailed to me?' (hoping 10 days because that's how long I have here) FORTY TWO DAYS. Are you fucking kidding me? As calmly as I can, I ask why wasn't that on the BMV's webpage that it takes almost 6 weeks to get a license? She looks at me puzzled. Why are you upset? You have a passport to get on a plane (as that is my form of ID). Um my driver license expires in a month? If I had known this I'd have shown up in April. Oh you can have this. She hands me a print out of my new id pic. I folded it up in my wallet thinking OMFG

So this means yes I DO have to come back here. This is non-forwardable mail (she even cautioned me, it looks like junk mail be sure to open it). Honestly I'm not that mad about it but it's a long way to go but there are things I want to do in Ohio (like Cosi's star Wars exhibit) and I DO feel better that it wouldn't have mattered if I had gone last week like I thought it might

3. I go to my coffee shop, try something new, Rose Cardamon matcha latte, pricey for very little but this was my reward for not setting the BMV on fire. It was a decent matcha latte. Zero cardamon. Zero rose and seriously how do you mess that up? Rose is a strong flavor and I'm a regular, if you're out of a house made flavor, just tell me that (sometimes they do, depends on the barista) So disappointing

4.Picked up two new mother's day plants (manager special) which is the good news for the day

5. CVS missed seeing one of my scripts (my wellbutrin, let's not forget my mental health pills dudes) now I have to go back tomorrow

6. Come home to get a letter telling me that because my ob/gyn oncologist is not a specialist in abdominal things they denied their request for the CT scan for my hernia because 'it's not in their field' (fuck insurance, seriously. You wanna play? Oh I'll play fuckwads. I can go right to a general surgeon but I'll make sure I get the PCP step in there just so you have to pay out more.)

7 Decide to check on my hotel reservation for the conference. Can I tell you how much I LOATHE these 'reservation call centers' that do groups of hotels? The automated system can't help me because they can't find my phone number (either of them) and I don't have my confirmation number (because my work email's search engine is broken and can't find it which is back in January or maybe even December) If you didn't use our service to make your reservation (I didn't because I went thru the HAPS site to get the conference block discount) you can't use us to find your reservation. Call the hotel.

Well, dumbasses, if the hotel's number came up when I googled the hotel I wouldn't have called your dumb asses. I change up my search and come up with the hotel's phone number (wrote that down) and call them. They can't find my reservation either (cue low key panic). She searches around oh are you at this email? Yes that's me and yes that's my cell phone. The problem was when I filled out HAPS reservation form it changed it from Dr Dana E to Doctor as my first name....the reservation is fine and I'm glad I talked to them because I got to ask where my handicapped backside needed to park (because I KNOW that area of Pittsburgh is shit for parking). You could literally hear her wince. You need to use our valet (because the parking garage is down the street a few blocks which I know) parking for 45$. Sold.

8. Rocket is sick, feverish and naturally tomorrow I can NOT take him to the vet because I have to go make sure I don't have an aneurysm in my skull or a brain tumor or something equally horrible. He was a little improved tonight. I naturally worried he'd get infected post operatively because of his FIV. Might be happening.


Did anything good happen? Maybe. On the second day of the conference (as I already threw my hat into the ring for another one on day one) is another sales pitch lunch with 100$ honorarium. Oh yes let me sign up for this one too. If I get them both, I don't have to worry about lunch at all this conference and I'll make 200$ in Amazon money (what can you do?)

Also at Kroger I found out Farm rich now has a mozzarella stick that has a center of Frank's redhot. This is how I die, yinz.

It's music monday. I'm doing songs from 2020-2025 and running the alphabet. I'm up to F let's hear your recs. Here are mine

[Bad username or unknown identity: F, the letter of this day, lemme tell you]

Actually not a lot of them.




I'm very lukewarm about Miley in general (I'm torn between a woman can do whatever she wants and the oversexualization of her stuff does no woman any good) I do like several of her songs though


And two from Abney Park. They love the story telling song and both of these are that.

Because it's so dark out there and today's light was a student from last year stopping by to tell me he's graduating next week and he wanted me to know I am the best teacher he's ever had. He thinks I'm stellar.

My computer is back to acting up, the browser is randomly pausing videos now and it won't go to sleep and stay there so I'm fairly sure there's malware in it but nothing that the antiviral programs can find. sigh. Know what I regret? Not going to into computers, even now when I had the chance when I first got here. I hate this helpless feeling.

Another point of light: my MRI to look for the aneurysm/tumor/etc in my head to see if we can figure out what might be causing my stupid trigeminal neuralgia. But I think it's at the same time as my endocrinology appt I will move the MRI that'll be a shit ton easier than moving endo. I really need to go there too because of my thyroid. I'm tired of being so sick, yinz, so tired.

This fannish 50's fandom question is brought to you by Blue Exorcist anime (or at least the one from a decade ago) and the question is how close to the source material do you want your adaptations. I know this is a hard one to answer and definitely YMMV. For the most part I like it to be close. This older Blue Exorcist adaptation is SO off the rails it's hard to enjoy it (I know there is a new one, I thought this one was going to be that but no). I felt that about the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist. There were some things I liked about the off the rails stuff (the homunculi) but things I absolutely hated BUT in that case (and I think is the same thing in the older BE adaptation) is they were jumping on the band wagon before the manga was done and making it up (badly) as they went.

On the other hand, there are adaptations I think were better for some editing (the Harry Potter books, Lord of the Rings).

There were ones that were absolutely bad adaptations, Constantine, the Percy Jackson movies, which actually weren't bad movies, they just sucked it as adaptations and should have been presented as something original (especially Constantine)

Then there's just bad bad, most of the early Stephen King ones, the Anne Rice Vampire movies etc.

Does anyone have any adaptations you think were as good as or better than the source material? Oddly I do. Maybe it's because I watched Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries and Murdoch Mysteries before I read the books I much preferred the TV shows. Honestly I think the Fisher books are so dumb I don't even know how we got an adaptation (again YMMV, if you like them great) How To Train Your Dragon (that book was so weird and honestly I think they only kept the names and nothing else) Howl's Moving Castle is good as book and movie but very different.

Since no one wants to hear about the depression and crap and my day was boring. that said I DO hope taking iron will fix some of this for me. I am getting tired out by going shopping. I don't want to go on like this if I can do something about it. I feel 90 not 50something

And let me say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to lordgloria Hope it was a good one.

But I did write today and I'm happy with this story. It's silly and hopefully fun and I hope you enjoy it if you read it.

Title: My Own Pink World

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: Arackniss didn’t think his brother would set himself up as an overlord once he killed Valentino but he had. Now he needed to see his brother’s new castle but he wasn’t prepared for this much sensory overload.

Rating: teen

Author Note - Written for spikesgirl58’s six word challenge. The words were Asset, Crude, Undermine, Lean, Respectable, & Common.

( read the story at AO3 at the above link or under here )



Welcome To The World The Owl House

A Night For Velvette Hazbin Hotel

Green And Gold Torchwood

A Tasteful Easter Egg Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Welcome to Pacific Tech Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1/Real Genius

It’s A Breeze Torchwood

Far Too Long Torchwood

Standards Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Promises Batman

When the Scream Subsides Oxventure

Decisions have Consequences Teen Wolf

Emotionally. I'll save the work issues (other than say HR should ASK if we're working on Friday other than buying into the rumor no one works on friday because three of us can't meet with the potential new hire. two can reschedule themselves. I can't and won't because it's my oncology appt) for a locked post sometime.

I've been having creepypasta dreams one with me walling someone up in some strange organic polymer because I was mad at him. (I have no idea who he was) I had gotten up to his face when I woke a half hour before my alarm this morning.

Another was me being furious with my cat who was hiding under my bed (a gray kitty I've never owned) and I was so mad I threw my bed and dragged this poor thing out by its scruff (I would never do this just so we're clear)

Another was my uncle (the one who just passed) lying on bedding in my closet, getting madder and sicker as we went (this one went on forever).

My brain is mad obviously.

What I Just Finished Reading:

Floating Hotel - here's the thing, if I hadn't been reading this for a prompt I might have given up. That said, I'm glad I didn't. It was interesting how she focused on one character per chapter giving their reason for being on the hotel and what's happening now and it was a jigsaw building to the climax which was well done

Les Normaux - gay paranormal romance graphic novel, lovely art, good enough story (webtoon) but I wasn't wowed. You might be (I'm not a romancy type)


What I am Currently Reading:

Another Fine Mess -Didn't realize this was book two so I am annoyed with myself because this is 100% spoilery for book one. It's a strange book, I'm liking it

Raised by a Serial Killer - so far I'm not blown away. I'm mostly sitting here going does ANYONE have this many clear memories from the time they were 3-6 years old.


What I Plan to Read Next: I forgot Bossard Library (it's in Gallipolis, not my usual library) does an amazing giveaway as their winter reading program so I grabbed a boat load of graphic novels to power thru by Monday to be able to put in for the giveaways so those.

I wish it was happier but today was sad and honestly that's all I want to say politically or I might start screaming or vomiting or both.

Mom got bad news too with that bad toe of hers. I was on her in Mexico because it looked awful. It's all open again and honestly I expect it to need amputated.

So I'm trying to concentrate on things I can control which isn't much. I can't even get an appointment to have my jaw looked at before the end of May. I don't know how to condense my sabbatical research into a short talk because omg there is so much of it.

I did, however, finish my Women of the Weird West story during my monthly writers group meeting of which almost no one showed up (which is unusual) It was good to just turn off all the worries for an hour and a half.

Because I've been nauseated all day. I think it's partly too many OTC meds for my stomach and anxiety.

and failing because I was looking at social media and the news and you'll forgive me for not saying more and NOT interacting with your own political posts if you have them because seriously I'm barely holding on.

Speaking of which, my blood sugar is still freaking the fuck out. I have no idea why. It was up for 350 after having salad for lunch and a piece of naan bread and then down to 100 tonight and only at 150 after eating something I shouldn't have.

And my back HURTS. This was way worse this time. And I did learn that the tight compression hose today had trigger my bad symptoms in that leg so that's a piece of the puzzle.

And that's all I want to say about that. So let's do the fannish 50. First there's this

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Hellaverse Explained: How The Shows Are Connected It's nice to see it's getting so big screen rants are doing bits on it


But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I was on the topic of old fandoms for the last few weeks. We've talked forever fandoms and first fandoms, how about the ones you're not sure you want to revisit or you did and you were left wondering what was wrong with younger you?

I can't include Star Trek in this because it is my forever fandom and I never stopped watching it. However, I haven't reread Lord of the Rings since high school. I thought I would when the movies come out (and what's that 20 years ago? HOW?) but I didn't because I was afraid I'd hate the books as an adult.

FETV and METV both do pretty much nothing but oldies so I've been able to revisit three shows that MADE young me's life in elementary school and middle school, four if I include MASH but much like Star Trek I never really stopped watching that.

Now obviously when we fall back into older fandoms, we know a) we're not 100% the same person we were then b) that some of it will be dated c) that some of the 'dated' is going include things we now consider problematic (misogynistic, homophobic etc even if they weren't thought that at the time. ) I don't necessarily want to talk about that. I want to talk more about how adult me feels about these shows child me loved.

Adam-12. Let's be honest, I saw this in reruns in the 70s and early 80s All I honest remember is I though Kent McCord was cute. That remains the same. He's cute and his character Jim Reed wasn't bad but his partner/mentor Pete Malloy turned out to be SUCH a drag. On the upside I got to see what we were afraid of in the late 60s early 70s (Nazis, Russians, immigrants and drugs, boy how times have changed....) It's terribly preachy. Police armed forced is seen as a plus and I wanted to slap Malloy into next week. I couldn't keep watching.

Emergency! This is a spin off of Adam-12 and I do remember more of this beyond Johnny Gage was hot. There is one episode I swore happened (Roy getting accidentally shot with a nail gun. I remember being traumatized by this but it must have been some other show). The datedness aside, I still enjoyed this or at least the first three years. After that it started getting cartoony and Johnny becomes a bit of an idiot for comedic effect (him and Chet) as if they forgot this isn't a sitcom.

Yeah it's very male but I don't hate on it for that because let's be honest, that was how it was in reality then. It even details how the paramedic got started (for us it's always been part of our lives but it's not that new of a system). The last season was more of a series of 2 hour movies set elsewhere with just Roy and Johnny and are boring AF. Skip that nonsense. I also learned this HAS to be where I got my hurt/comfort and whump kinks because man Johnny was made to be whumped.

Quincy M.E. I'm not going to lie. This show made me want to be a coroner. That WAS my original plan (didn't work that way and I'm still sad about it) I remembered it being more of a police procedural with Quincy working with the cops and I remember Sam was hot. What I got when I tried (notice the word tried) to rewatch it. First is the eyerolling opening sequence with Jack Klugman as a romeo on a ship. Yeah no. But holy hell this is the PREACHIEST show I've ever seen (hey anti-woke people go watch 70s tv and see that this isn't new). If there was a social justice/medical thing in need of being changed/public health issue they want to bring to people's attention it became a show's plot.

I couldn't watch it. I tried. I really tried. Robert Ito's Sam is still hot.

two stores opened today a book store and something calling itself a mercantile. Before I went I detoured to the coffee shop which wasn't a great choice because in walks one of the Maga idiots with a t-shirt Jesus Won (I don't know about you but around here many Trump signs also included so Jesus can win). It was all I could do to not ask him (because naturally he took the table next to mine) HOW did Jesus win. Nothing Trump stands for would be anything Jesus wants. Half tempted to have a shirt printed out Jesus Wept. 2024. But you'd probably find me dead in a ditch around here.


So the mercantile is sort of an antique shop/consignment store and it was pretty nice. It had several things I wanted including a steamer trunk (decent price) and a huge victrola with a scroll work front that if I tossed out something I could probably fit in here but it wouldn't be nearly as functional as what I'd have to throw out. They did have a few things that looked to be uranium glass but weren't marked as such. (so yeah more consignment than antique because nothing was marked with ages) there was a glass platter that might have been uranium but pricey enough I wouldn't want it unless I knew for sure. Two cheap things but previous broken. I did buy two possible uranium glass sundae cups because they were pretty and inexpensive. The vendor didn't know if they were uranium glass either.

I took a look at the book store. I have more books in my living room...and the space was about the size of my living room (it's inside the other store) I asked (before seeing the space) was she taking used books. Got a dithering answer but seeing her space I have no idea where she'd put it. I'll keep it in mind provided the store lasts.

I also finally got into the toy store that opened up a while back. Meh. It's 98% Funkos and superhero figures and I collect neither. I'm surprised the store has survived this long in this town.


Had a miserable afternoon/evening to the point the parents knew something was wrong. Ah depression.

And I forgot to do thefridayfive yesterday so have it now

1. What is your favourite food? Oh I suppose I could say something high end like butter poached lobster or seared scallops (and yes I love that) but at the end of the day it's pizza.

2. What is your favourite food preparation method? does anyone have one of these? It's whatever the meal calls for

3. What is your favourite cuisine or style of cooking? Italian. It's my background. It's what I grew up on. It's what I do.

4. Do you have any dietary restrictions and if so what are they? We're going to be here all night. I'm diabetic so that takes out so many things like most fruit, potatoes, rice, pasta, bread and of course most desserts.

And I'm on blood thinners so there goes dark leafy greens, grapefruits, chamomile, hibiscus and several others.

And this is why I get into arguments with a couple of my vegetarian friends who insist it's all healthy for me because it's plant-based and I'm like you're not hearing me. (for the record I don't eat tons of meat either)


5. If you could introduce the whole world to one ingredient to improve their culinary experience, what would that be and why? It could honestly be as simple as salt and pepper but for me I guess it'll be garlic. There aren't many savory dishes it can't improve IMO

So I had a distraction from this fear and depression but I don't. At least I managed to get the Halloween village down and I got some leaves waxed (I have an art project in mind for over a year. I collected leaves last year and then didn't do it. This year at least I got the leaves waxed.)

Another hint maybe it's time to let Jana go, despite marketing it, my paranormal novel in Spooky month earned .46 cents. Fan fucking tastic. I am terrible at marketing apparently (because I do not believe I'm a bad author)

Speaking of marketing I'm annoyed by both Goodreads and Netgalley pricing themselves out of most people's price range and many indies too. Goodreads is now over 100$ to put a book into the giveaway and I'm not sure how expensive Netgalley is but it's enough that my publisher has stopped using them (also because frankly the returns on reviews were terrible too). But also I got this rejection on a book from the Harlequin crew. THIS is what you have to have to get a freebie from them on NG (where my ratio is 97%)

For all HTP imprints, including MIRA, Graydon House, Park Row, Hanover Square, and Canary Street Press, please provide the following information in your PROFILE:




Reviewers/Influencers

Please include a direct link to your review site or social media profiles. In order to be approved, your review space must follow this criteria:

Your book blog or social media platform has been established and active for 6 months or more and you have 500+ followers.
You regularly update your book blog or social media with book reviews, author interviews, or book discussion threads.
Your blog or social media platform displays reader interaction (i.e. comments, giveaway entries, good social media following).
You are active on NetGalley by submitting feedback and/or keeping your profile up-to-date. While your feedback ratio does not have to be over a certain percentage, when a title receives a high volume of requests, a low feedback ratio could contribute to your request being declined.
Please provide information on the number of unique visitors you receive in a given month and on the current standing of your following on your blog and/or social media platforms.
Please note that solely posting to review sites no longer warrants approvals without a blog or other social media platform. Priority will be given to individuals who have more than just Goodreads or Amazon in their profiles.

Look if that's what you want, you have the ability to get all the high powered reviewers you want. You're freaking Harlequin. Eye roll. Note to self don't try for them again.


I got an early morning call from my insurance today. I wrote this long letter to HR last week detailing every bullshit thing they did and he asked 'can I share this?' yes you may. Got the panic call from them today, trying to explain themselves and giving me numbers to make sure we 'have a partnership' She couldn't explain that blackmail letter we all got about using their mail order or be penalized. She said that shouldn't be how it works. Yeah I know that.

I wish I had community recs for you today. My crap just isn't together. I forgot to get my Halloween dragons and remembered literally today. I haven't touched my research in weeks. Sigh.

A second year in a row. Last year it was eaten up by fears of cancer. This year...ditto. So my uncle decided (after saying for months he wouldn't) is having surgery for the tumor at 7 AM tomorrow. At best even if the surgery is a success it buys 6 months.

Officially called off the trip (maybe at spring break which was what I always wanted. I'm seriously afraid to leave the country 4 days after whatever happens this election.)


As for me I got called by the sports med doc's office. Your MRI has been read. Can you be here tomorrow? Um well that sounds bad. Yes (and now I might miss the webinar and I could care less)

I got a little relaxation at the coffee shop but then realized all the electronics except my phone were missing from my purse so I had to go all the way back to the office to see if I left them there (I had. Sigh)

Got my MRI results in the portal tonight. No masses and nothing horribly wrong BUT spondylosis (which I already knew I had) is more extensive than I was aware. The MRI went from L1-S1 and each and every disc is dessicated (drying out) and bulging. Well that's fun. Part of it is age, part is genetics. What can I do?

Honestly not much. Keep that cartilage as healthy as I can. i.e. movement. (I am much less symptomatic after the PT) so I need to come up with a core program I can do and now losing weight is even more important. I wish I could do the ozempic/wegovy stuff but it makes me horrendously ill.

So I tried consoling myself with the new Helluva Boss episode that dropped today and it was...a disappointment really. It wasn't awful but it could have been so much more if they had spent less time with the boring sex jokes and did more character development. There was some. I'm hoping this is a turning point for Blitz and we can move forward. At least it did have a lot more Millie (though I have mixed feelings about her origin story as far as I.M.P. was concerned)

I got through the final file box today but in it was a) my medical licenses b) all my malpractice stuff c) my first teaching job's pay scale paperwork d) the source of my worst few years of life e) the lawsuit over my hand.

a) I'm keeping my licenses because I can't give them up (I mean yes they're expired but I want to keep them)

b) outside of a few pieces just in case, I put the malpractice in the shredder

c) This is why I will ALWAYS be against adjuncts because it's such a horrible exploitive system that benefits no one, not the students, not the adjunct, no one but the budget. I was paid 2950$ for 16 weeks of work (about 4K today) not per month. That was four months worth of money. You're reading it right. In 2004 I was being paid 740$ a month. I would have been homeless or living in a dorm if not for a friend who let me stay. My parents paid for my medical insurance and I was lucky to have that

d) Starting in 2004 I was no longer going back to school post injury and I am now responsible for my medical school loans plus all the new grad school loans. Needless to say no one cared I was making 700$ a month. As bad as student loans are now, they were worse 20 years ago. (You should see what's in the shredder pile for the last few days of ALL the bullshit I used to have to do to get an income based repayment. Now I just have to let them see my IRS filing) Eventually I was sued by one of them which in a way was good. The federal court saw my 700$ income and laughed them out of court. Eventually when I got the job I have now I was hit with a 500/month lien on my income which was doable.

But there was default paperwork coming daily. For each and every loan (over 6 years of schooling) so I would have a half dozen each week (not to mention all the calls on my answering machine) It got to the point I couldn't even open the letters. They all said the same thing anyhow. I wouldn't leave my office because if I came home I'd see them and have more panic attacks. When I was still in WI (making that 700$) I was nearly instituionalized over the severe impact on my mental health. In the first few years here in OH (especially 2004-2007) it was bad. they would call and threaten me, literally threaten me (I mean they DID send the police after me when I was in WI to serve a warrant on me for nonpayment before they sued me)

Finally they came up with the income based repayment plan (which they didn't have in the beginning) they'd threaten me with 'you can only have this for a year or two which was bullshit since 20 years later I still have this).

So finding all this paperwork still opened was HARD today. I had to open them all up so what could go in the recycler went there and what needs to be shredded/burned when in that pile.

e) my lawsuit. If you work with your hands or your back (nurses, looking at you) check your state's worker's comp. I didn't know that WI would only pay 10% of my salary for a hand even though I was a frakking surgeon. No lawyer would take my case because it would pay too little. Finally found a desperate small town one who did. got 2K for my career ending injury. I will never be over this. That grief, that loss doesn't heal.

so yeah it's been a rough day, made even rougher because someone trashed the washing machines here so I had to go to Jackson and use their much more expensive ones. Sigh.

So yeah if you have cute pet pics hit me up.

My only good news is I DID send in a story to an open call. I doubt it will get in (they were pretty clear they wanted things closer to the low end of their word count range but there was no way to get that story down to 3K, it is what it is).

Oh and I asked the library to get Lackadaisy. We'll see what happens

What I Just Finished Reading:

Who Cries from the Lost - C.S. Harris. Love this series. This was good

What I am Currently Reading:

Lies on the Serpent's tongue - sequel to Bittersweet in the Hollow (so very Appalachian and oddly the protagonist in this can tell lies just like in Twisted Shadows only she tastes them) it's an arc

Nightshade by John Saul. The library had a bunch of horror out for the season so I grabbed some




What I Plan to Read Next: more library horror