cornerofmadness

I need to find a gastroenterologist back home. It's hard to find transport here and I really need to have a scope to find out if this pressure and cough is from GERD or do I need to be finding a pulmonologist too. I'd like to be healthy but if I can't be that I need to keep up on this.

Because it seriously hit home (in spite of how well I know this) learning Michelle Trachtenberg died of complications of diabetes.

Mom sent me a bunch of stuff off QVC for Easter. Wish she would have sent one or the other because I know a) it was expensive b) it's all pure sugar. I appreciate the thought but....


I'm off tomorrow. We get off good friday but never easter monday which makes no sense.

Rocket is mad at me. He fell in the creek. I have no idea how/why. He came home covered in mud and wet and is mad I won't let him sleep wherever he wants nor will he let me clean him up. Rocket is a hard cat. He loves people and wants to sit on you but if you even THINK about fussing at him, you shall be made to regret it.

It was meant to be 63 today. In fact when I went out (just after that massive storm which did kick up tornados in OH but not too close to me) this morning it was warm enough I barely needed the coat. Came out at 230 from work and it wasn't 63, it was 36!! I'm like is it going to snow??

And I saw Rocket had red on his head and thought it was that god awful mulch he loves (as does the neighbors who won't use something more natural) Nope he was bleeding. BAD. the back of his ear was torn open. It wasn't deep but it was (and still is) bleeding. My bathroom rug needs cleaned. I cleaned the ear with sterile saline which upset him. When I get back from spring break I have to schedule him for a neutering. Maybe he wont' fight so much.

I sent another story out today. Not sure it has much of a chance but eh, worth the try.

What I Just Finished Reading:
The Scarlet Pimpernel - not bad for 120 y.o. novel until the last big action push (about the last 5 chapters) which runs afoul of some serious anti-semitism (which is in fact what SP was counting on in the villain)

Knights of Heliopolis - Gorgeous art, decent story until it slammed into a wall of misogyny for no reason (and no excuse of being 120 years out of date)

Dr. Strange - the oath - Pretty forgettable

Court of Wanderers by Rin Chupeco - a let down after book one. WAY TOO MUCH SEX.

And another wave of graphic novel reading

My Neighbor Totoro 1 by Hayao Miyazaki

Night Fever by Ed Brubaker

Blood on the Tracks, Vol. 1 by Shuzo Oshimi

Double Walker by Michael W. Conrad

Zokusho by Paul Corn


What I am Currently Reading:

The reformatory

My Dearest Holmes




What I Plan to Read Next: something for popsugar

But another Rocket update. He did let me help him a little. There's still oozing blood from the head wound and luckily most of the big wound was just old blood in his fur. The actual wound is more like a nickel in size and it could be potentially a fang wound. Sigh.

I went to sign up for my appt tomorrow and they want me to double check my insurance and the only one they have showing is that medicare assistance that I DO NOT HAVE was there and it had the fucking number so I'm running with that when I get a chance. I need to get this settled. at least four years of it now.


So let's talk about when fandom goes wrong (and I did decide to go ahead and play along with alexcat's version of fannish 50.)

CW - bad fan behavior that could be disturbing

I finally caught up with a big event in campaign two of Critical Role which yes is a handful of years old but I'm late to the game. ( in case you're later than me or are waiting for the animation to come out )

Immediately after this big bad thing happened in game and everyone was still stunned (Years later I've heard accusations of everything being scripted and I will say yeah some stuff in CR is, but hell I wish authors I read did that as well as Matt and this crew. Was this scripted? The reaction was different than it was with Vex in the first campaign, but given Talisien's reaction I'm saying no, allowing that yes these are all actors).

Anyhow immediately after it, Matt (the dm) says please be kind to the players. They're upset enough. Things happen in games like this (or something along those lines) and that clued me in on something: toxic fandom.

Can we talk for a moment about how we're not owed a storyline to progress exactly how we want it to. Now sure we don't want to see a story break its own inherent plot lines but things happen. In TTRPGs a bad roll might end up with something funny. It might end up with you making death saving throws. Characters die. Characters end up with someone you might not like. Characters might betray.

None of this allows the fans to be abusive. I've already spoken about this with Maggie Stiefvater and the second series surrounding the Raven Boys. I must have been asleep at the switch because I had missed a pairing that seemed to come out of nowhere for me at the end of the first series. This m/m relationship was supposed to be central to the second series and I swear I will always believe that it played a roll in how the series ended.

Well it DID. Stiefvater refused to write sex scenes for Adam and Ronan which I was fine with. I get bored with them very quickly but fans lost their shit. They harassed her so much she burned the series bible and scrapped plans for future books. think about that. Fan toxicity over not getting their way prematurely ended the series and honestly I think it affected the books we did get. The last book barely had the main character in it and the relationship was an afterthought for two of the three books. All because fans decided atting her on social media with hate and death threats was acceptable.

So seeing Matt Mercer racing to defend the CR actors told me they weren't safe from this. So I went digging

here and here. is some of that toxicity on display.

But it gets worse. This video is a bit hard to watch and I'll spoil a bit of it here. Laura is in tears talking about death threats leveled against her infant son because of something a character she was the VA for did. Let that one sink in.

I think we need to remember that actors/authors are people too. Screaming at them, death threats that is not acceptable behavior (Speaking of toxicity in the TTRPG arena don't go down the reddit hole unless you want your head to explode especially when you're a woman playing these games)

And I didn't want to end on such a downer so have one of the sillier Might Nein scenes via an animatic

Guess who decided to play with the fart squirrels? Rocket came in stinky last night and had to go right back out (poor baby was shaking. He didn't want to go but I couldn't leave him in here like that. He has an outside box. I put him there) He didn't get it full force but was enough that he was mildly reeking. Naturally my local Family Dollar has no de-skunker and I had to grade three exams and get scores up for some admin thing we do at week 5 (HOW is it week 5 already?) so I could go to town. I mixed up the hydrogen peroxide/soap/baking soda dealio and that means I had to BATHE Rocket.

We both survived. Barely. I didn't get scratched. He has the traumas. He's currently outside not speaking to me. That's fine by me. I have to go into town tomorrow to get two cancer screenings plus blood tests and I did see my other blood work. I'm pretty upset about it. Last visit 3 months ago we noticed that my HgA1C was creeping up and thought maybe there was an issue with the Jardiance no longer working for me. This time it's up by 2 points nearly 9 which means my blood sugar is almost always over 200.

I've changed nothing in my diet/exercise (well less of that in the last 4 weeks) What it could be is menopause because lately I've been having a lot more hot flashes and the hormones can fuck your sugar but also something is messing with my stomach so bad that a combination of prilosec (prescription strength), zantac and tums isn't touching it.

And since this is already long and it's late, I'll push the fannish 50 another day.

What I Just Finished Reading:

Murder by Degrees by Ritu Mukerji - A historical mystery about a female doctor in Philly and it was good. Also encompassed some of the research I wanted to do.

Rereading Fullmetal Alchemist and I'm finding things I totally forgot (that shocked me) Vol 3-5 (and it's like falling in love all over again)

I DNF Our Hideous Progeny & Northanger The first bored me. I might come back to it. The other is also a little slow but I realized I'm falling terribly behind on my reading challenges so this can wait.

What I am Currently Reading:

Noni & The God Tree: A Shattered Truth by Breshea Anglen

The Widows, I'm back to it. It's still boring.

What I Plan to Read Next: The Reformatory and X-Wing Wraith Squadron

1) I SUCK at binge watching. How do people do this? How did this become the preferred viewing option? Even stuff I like I can't watch endlessly.

2) If I had Netflix streaming I'd probably never get a damn thing done. There is so much I want to watch. I've started Lockwood & Co which yes I know got canceled but I love this book series and so far I'm enjoying the show (though this isn't how I pictured George, and some of the changes grate)

3) Water Aerobics isn't enough to save you if you're THIS terribly out of shape. I'm actually pretty sad about this. My knee didn't take too well to it. But neither did my ankles (Have I mentioned I've broken both of them) My stamina is non existent. Also it occurs to me IF my pool top ever comes in to exercise in will I be able to use it at the school pool because if it's for swim teams it probably has ladders, no stairs. Sadly in 18 years I've never even seen the thing because they mostly don't want faculty there. My brother's pool's pump is like a power massager for your back so there's that.

4) People in Weirton WV can't drive worth shit. I thought they were bad in OH.

5) I'm terrible at finishing things. All I can think about this week are all the nano novels I started and abandoned. I need to finish at least one or two more of those, starting with the Slaying in the 80s thing and FINALLY editing through the 90s era urban fantasy which I've been saying since it was only 10 years in the rear view not thirty. I need to find someone to look over the Irish character and the Welsh in the 80s one.

6) Cats are evil. This is not news. The kitten is playing fuck around and find out with the elder cat. I'm going to let the oldster kick his ass.

I really have no community recs this week. I'm going to have to find something else to make thursday's theme.

Graduation was nice. None of us like being in the gym because it's stifling but we ended up wishing we HAD been in there (the storm never arrived which is good) 3 hours in unbroken direct sun wearing a polyester black gown and hood and hat with no shade in 90 degree temp and humidity got the best of most of us. I'm still feeling the effects of that much heat. we went to Arch and Eddie's as a department. They couldn't find the reservation so we had to wait. Three of us waited in the bar. I had the holy mole mexican hot chocolate stout. Honestly it was a nice stout but NO chocolate tones, no heat no spice. I had a yummy chicken sandwich and some vodka/lemonade with dinner. Sobered up at the ice cream parlor. I honestly do not know what to do with Rocket. He wants in and out every 45 minutes and every time he thinks I'm going to feed him in spite of much evidence to the contrary. At this point taking him to the shelter might be the only option sigh.

Because I'm super depressed and have been crying most of the night AND am massively conflicted by something at work that is good for the school but less good out there in the real world.

Also I haven't been mentioning it (because also conflicted) but Rocket wasn't here when I came back. I didn't see him for three days. He returned this morning (and is being obnoxious) So why conflicted? I think we know why. He's never going to be an indoor cat. He's going to be a part time pet at best. I am going to have to seriously consider calling the local shelter to see if they can find him a better home to live with.

Today the pharmacist asks me how long have I been taking prilosec and plavix together because the first inhibits the second. A YEAR. No one in FOUR different pharmacies has ever said this is an issue

I was terribly behind and in a rush. I had to go to a fast food chain for lunch. Paid intending to eat it in the parking lot of my next destination. Drove off without the food. Didn't realize it until after I came out of the next destination. Had to slink back to get it

What I Just Finished Reading:
XO by Jeffery Deaver. My library dumped almost all their books on CD so I scooped them up just because I could (I'm not a big audio book fan) This one is a spin off character (Kathryn Dance) from the Lincoln Rhyme books and it was ultimately pretty forgettable and a little ridiculous at the end but hey got my X book for the year.

Together We Burn by Isabel Ibañez. I have an arc of this fantasy-Spain located dragon-fighting (bullfighting story) I need to review this asap. I enjoyed it but it has some world building weirdness

Darkness Under the Sun a novella based off What the Night Knows by Dean Koontz. Another of those books on cd. Good but also pretty forgettable.



What I am Currently Reading:

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey. I got this from Tor itself based on all the good publicity without reading the blurb. I was expecting gay librarians in the west. And it is BUT it's also a future where the far right has won and I DO NOT like cautionary tales. It's good but so not what I was hoping for.


Eye Spy by Mercedes Lackey. It was suggested that Abi is an ACE character (so far no) I'm nearly 100 pages in and it's pretty plotless and boring and I'm remembering why I stopped reading the Valdemar books.

The Cabinets of Barnaby Mayne by Elsa Hart A mystery set in 1703 and I'm enjoying it but it's going to be moving to what to read next because a library book made it here.

What I Plan to Read Next:

Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater I'm halfway thru and bumped it back when Eye Spy arrived from the library. I'm BORED. Holy cow I can not get into this one and I love this world of Stiefvater but maybe I liked Ronan less than I thought?

Woof by Spencer Quinn just arrived from the library for the Popsugar challenge. The plus - middle grade book, the minus - i'm over stories from the animal's pov. I don't want a dog narrator. Sorry. (Worse I have a Rita Mae Brown cd in my car now so I'm getting a double dose). It's supposed to be cute. I've read Quinn's adult dog detective book which was clever so it shouldn't be too bad.

He returned at nearly 1 AM last night and we're near the end of his tick/flea med and had a tick in his fur (not burrowed in thankfully). Well one of my coworkers has a friend who is doing tick research and wants them so into the freezer in a bag it went. I suspect Rocket will be helping a lot with his pale long fur.

Also he's picked up a weird/bad behavior. He started hissing at me when I put him out when he was hurting with that leg. I didn't think much about it but he's hissed every time since. He doesn't swat or anything just hisses. Well tonight he came to get me to let him out. As soon as I opened the door he hissed at me and left. I'm like dude, wtf are you even about right now.


Last night rather sucked it. I couldn't get to sleep. It was nearly 3 AM before I fell asleep and today at work I did finally find my lost labs (on the book shelf. Why I have no idea) Also two of my plants died in the greenhouse. Not sure why. I did get the sugar peas and some tiny tim tomatoes to sprout but nothing else has, including zucchini (and really only a few of the peas. Pease are one of the easiest things to sprout). I think I'm done with this company. I've had too many failures in a greenhouse setting with them.

I went to my lab and found someone has made off with all my probes for dissection. I need them tomorrow. Feel me not being impressed.

Longmire Days is going to be right at the start of the semester so I can't go and ALL the actors are going to be there. I'm berefit.


And check out this woman here. In a world filled with awful people Connie Uhre manages to rise to the top by putting on social media she's going to ban all Native Americans from her hotel. I'll be honest I'm not that shocked. I saw that sort of shit directed against the Lakota when I lived out there but it was pre-social media so not everyone knew how horrible some of these people were.

I'm like 75% sure Rocket has broken his leg. I feel horrible. Here's the thing I'm leaving for a week in a few days. Also he's still just an outdoor stray that i'm taking care of. Am I ready for spending $$$$ on an FIV+ stray who won't stay inside or use the litter box? I don't even know how I'm getting him to the vet. This is rough

There are not a lot of therapists around here as it turns out.

After a conversation of today, I'm feeling a little vindicated about my writing and some issues I hadn't wanted to talk about openly (still don't, just know I'm feeling better about it)

My friend L brought in her old composter to our greenhouse and I get to do that now. I feel good about that.

I lost my frakking mind today in the library. I walked past the sale until I saw literally almost all the books on dvd are in the sale. I buy like a dozen for 5$. WHY? I don't even like them really. Im not good with audio books but I just felt the need. Maybe by concentrating on them on the drive I'll be out of my head and all the bad thoughts that say it's time to stop

It went well enough and the tenure/promotion committee went well too but it really highlighted how understaffed we are

We weren't supposed to get any accumulation of snow. 4 inches later... It looks gorgeous, it's the kind that sticks to the tree and looks picturesque. I wish I could hike out into it. That's bumming me out.

And in the middle of all that Rocket came home. To be honest I thought he was dead. I haven't seen him since Monday. He came in, ate and fought like hell to get back out. Sigh. Fine.

I'm too tired to string together more words Have fan recs

Prodigal Son

Good Morning art

Touch and Go final chapter

Right Here Waiting ch 3

Defiant art

Ache ch 9

Bound by Chance

Feverish and Bright ch 2

It Should Have Been Me


Other Fandoms

900 Acres of Freedom Stargate Atlantis



Three Sentence Fills

Hamelet

Castlevania

Wheel of Time and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the latter by me)

Maiden Holmes

Hamilton, Lost & Kingyou Hime