My luck continues to hold

I was at the coffee shop for the new latte release. I wanted to try the salted honey rosemary latte. Not enough (read any) rosemary flavor but over all good. However somehow I hit a ctrl button or the touch mouse or something and shut down my document without the save, don't save, cancel options (or it hit it somehow). I lost an hour's work and 2K worth of novel. Gutted.

And then it started storming. Where's my umbrella? in the car. Did not go to the new store opening because it was lightning everywhere. Did go to the library to pick up two hard copies of arcs I failed to read. And Jesus why the fuck did I ask for an arc of this TJ Klune novella? It's depressing AF and I can't get my head around the worldbuilding. The world is ending but someone is still refining oil into gas and people are showing up for their shitty gas station jobs?!? I mean how else is this RV getting across the country (yes, yes I know, it's not the point but weirdly I can't get past it)

My brain is a nest of snakes lately too. Partly because I don't have work distracting me, partly because something has brought up old insecurities, like really old, ingrained ones. I've sorted through dozens of Bourbon City Steam photos, literally hundreds of them and outside of the one picture where I won that trivia trophy, that is the only photo of me from all three days. I didn't see one of me doing my stuff (but I know the camera man was in there). I didn't make the dances but I was there for most things.

It's like high school and college all over. I'm in every play, multiple bands, an officer in my sorority and I barely exist in the yearbook. I know it's just ego talking but it's odd to me that I don't seem to catch anyone's eye. Would anyone even remember me? Other than two people there would anyone notice if I wasn't? I know the answer. No one would. My one friend didn't even realize I had never been to this one before. Maybe he imagined me there. Maybe that's a good thing.


Sadly I can't put I fucking love science links here for science saturday. They've started a paid subscription to read them. So have these.


High-status Roman woman was buried in a lead coffin with jet hairpins and exotic resins, archaeologists find

Homo erectus genetic material sequenced for the first time, and it shows 'deep genetic links' with modern humans

A combination of amazement and horror': Hitchhiker fish hide in manta ray buttholes

Microplastics absorb heat in the atmosphere and contribute to global warming — as if they weren't bad enough

Pollution may fuel depression, anxiety and other mental health problems, emerging research suggests

'I heard gasps' and 'oh my God': Artemis II astronauts reveal inside story of their mind-bending solar eclipse

'Exceptional' drilled tooth reveals Neanderthals practiced dentistry in Siberia 60,000 years ago