Fic - Thoughts on War Time

[cornerofmadness]

Thoughts of War Time
D M Evans
Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition
Rating – PG-13
Pairing – Roy/Riza
Time line- manga verse, spoilers if you haven’t seen the Ishbal arc.
Summary – She hates the light
Author’s Note – written for the fic_variations challenge, dark/light prompt, thanks to evil_little_dog for the beta.


She liked the darkness. Most soldiers would call her a fool for it. An Ishbalan could slip into camp like a shadow and kill them all. Riza knew this, was appropriately wary, but still preferred the night. Desert sand, baking like an oven in the day, didn’t hold the heat at night so it provided a brief respite. What sort of sadistic military didn’t have a desert uniform? In the day, everyone sweltered in the blue wool and many fell prey to heat exhaustion. Riza couldn’t abide it.

However, what bothered her about the day was the light itself. Glaring off the rocks, it blinded her, especially through her riflescope. Heat waves danced, making a clear shot tricky. The light fried her skin in the few places it was visible, her scalp red and peeling if she had to take off the stifling hat. But the very worst part of the light was the large portion of it that was firelight. Granted the flames were more striking in the dark but the Flame Alchemist was rarely sent out during the night. Fires fluttered over the sand in the day, followed by shrieks of people dying horribly.

Riza had always known how destructive her father’s alchemy was. She knew why he had never shown Roy the array. Riza regretted her decision to share it with Roy and he knew he had regrets, too, about learning it. He didn’t want to be the monster he had been forced to become.

The heat from Roy’s flames turned the desert into hell. The smell of cooking flesh filled the air, coating her mouth and throat with grease. The one thing she didn’t like in the night was Roy coming to her, hiding in the darkness, wanting comfort. The reek of atrocities clung to him and he’d want her to hold him, to move under him and the only thing in her mind would be how she had made a horrendous mistake and there was no way to take it back. Her love for him couldn’t squelch that inner voice or cover what this war was doing to their psyches.

As the last licks of light faded from the sky, Riza cleaned her guns meticulously. The dark came quickly as heat bled off into the air. It wouldn’t be long now and, as if he knew what she was thinking, Riza saw Roy coming up on her. His face, smeared with soot, held so much pain she could feel it like poison in her soul. She couldn’t make this better. She wanted to protect him. She did the best she could but there was no shield from the alchemy, not for either of them. This was their penance. Riza took him in her arms, trying not to make a face at the horrible smell of him. When this was over, if they made it out alive, she wanted to consign everything of theirs from this place to his flames. Maybe then the reek wouldn’t haunt her. Maybe she could forget the haunted onyx eyes staring out from the ash.

Maybe one day she could enjoy the light and dark together and this place would be an abandoned memory.

Comments

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Aw.

I loved the Ishbal arc.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. It was very good and so much better than the anime. Maes purposely hiding out from the war always bothered me. The manga has him there with Roy like he belongs.

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

The manga is kind of spoiling me for the anime (in terms of liking it better). I've stopped watching it at the moment because I don't like switching back and forth between the manga-verse and the anime-verse.

Oh and I'm totally caught up now. :)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i liked the anime for the first year or so but the manga is infinitely better. Sadly much of the fandom is anime only and there's a hunk who won't even read the manga (well the manga does make it harder to justify some of the non-canon ships)

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

I don't really feel the need to justify my ships, since any ship I feel is non-canon I just think of as AU and I can enjoy it that way. It's how I get into Roy/Maes.

I really don't get people who ship Roy/Ed though, or Roy/Envy. I mean, to each her own, but what are they thinking?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Roy/Ed, Ed/Al are the two biggest ships. Roy/Maes is my first and almost only slash (the Saiyuki boys are so close to canon I don't consider them slash) You know when they're talking about each other's sparkling eyes you have to wonder why

[kashicat.livejournal.com]

I think what bothers some people (and it shouldn't) is the feeling that it's an either/or. I had to start with the anime because I'd never heard of FMA till it came on TV in Canada last year. Now I'm catching up with the manga. I love both.

People complain that the two contradict each other, and somehow feel they have to choose between them. And I sort of chuckle, realizing that they're probably not very familiar with, oh, say, the Superman or Batman stories, and how many different versions of those there have been in this past century. (comics, more comics, movies, several TV series, several cartoon series -- all the same story, all the same characters, but stories told and retold and embellished and elaborated and branched off of...and so on, forever)

So I kind of regard the anime and manga as two different versions, two brands of the same mythology. And mythologies change over time. I could see, down the road, some combination of anime/manga becoming a third recognized and established version. And then a fourth version, combining the previous three, or picking and choosing favorite elements from all of them. And so it goes.

At the moment, I like writing stories strictly in-canon, for the anime. I'm still far behind with the manga (only volume 13), but when I know most of that story, I'll write in-canon for that. And eventually, I might try to combine elements of both.

And that doesn't even touch the AU possibilities! Heh. ::dizzy::

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

you have some good points. I do see the anime and manga as being in conflict not only for the horrid ending of the anime but also in just what the Sins are. However, i do occasionally write anime/manga blends (since i rather like Roy being responsible for Winry's parents, and one day I'd like to write fallout from Winry meeting Barry the Chopper)

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

Royai! You don't know how much squeeing is going on at my end right now. It was so creepy and so sweet. The great thing is, there was maybe only one major spoiler, but it didn't give too many details. I can't wait to get to this arch. :)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it's a lovely arc as far as character development goes.

and thanks

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to get to this arch. :)

It has Maes.

*makes wibbling sounds*

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

Now your just torturing me. I want! Hurry up incredibly slow American publishers!

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

...hahaha, read it online, like we do. *grins*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

this is the only one i read online because i couldnt wait

[lyricnonsense.livejournal.com]

*whimper* Why are Roy and Riza so f*cked up?!

But this was lovely. Heartbreaking, angsty, and oh so creepy. Loved it!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. Seriously those two can be such an emotional mess (and to think Winry thinks she had troubles with Ed...) I'm glad you liked it

[anguisel.livejournal.com]

Curse you. Now I want to read the manga all the more! And I spent enough money on Saiyuki and Naruto...I still need to get the new volumes of Black Cat too. I really need to go through my books and trade them in for store credit.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

ooo I like Black Cat too. and tell me about it, all the ones i like best are the ones with 20 volumes.

the manga is so worth it. (you can find all the scanlations if you're willing to read those)

and im glad you liked this

[anguisel.livejournal.com]

Yes, I wish they sold them in box sets more often. I'm just glad that bandai is doing anime legends now where you can get a whole series for $30+. I bought .hack//SIGN for 34.95 at Best Buy. Twas money worth spending.

I might have to start doing that. But I kinda like being able to hold it in my hands. You never know when the website hosting the scans will disappear...

I have your prompt up on my journal. I would've posted it as a comment but the crackiness...I was afraid of what would happen.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i have trouble reading online (not to mention the vague feeling i'm stealing) but i do read FMA that way and buy it.

cool i hope to get there soon

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

You know what I really love about this?

That even as she's being a comfort, Riza is still holding Roy responsible and regretting that she showed him the alchemy. I have rarely seen someone take that perpective, and it's really nice and true and brutal.

The one thing she didn’t like in the night was Roy coming to her, hiding in the darkness, wanting comfort. The reek of atrocities clung to him and he’d want her to hold him, to move under him and the only thing in her mind would be how she had made a horrendous mistake and there was no way to take it back

That is just so perfect, and I just know that Roy has no idea that's in her head, and she'll never ever tell him.

Good job.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. This was easy to write as dark as it is. I think Riza's actions in Ishbal in regards to her tattoo says it all. She has some very deep regrets and feels very responsible for him. I'd like to do more one day with that theme. I believe she does love him very much but they have this black cloud over them and that kind of pressure has to do something to you

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I hope you do write more about Riza - she's one of my favorite characters, and I love her to bits.

And what makes Riza and Roy's relationship so great, is they actually have legitamate angst pulling them part - it's not the kind of thing where if they just said, 'i like you' everything would be roses.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh yes, I think Riza and Roy's relationship is one of my all time favorites. i have plenty of stories with them if yuo haven't already found them

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

It's certainly one of my favorite anime relationships. I love that scene in the anime where she's on the train with Winry and talking about how she sometimes hate soldiers too and that she'll pull the trigger because she has someone to protect while she cleans her gun.... *shivers*