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Thoughts of War Time
D M Evans
Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition
Rating – PG-13
Pairing – Roy/Riza
Time line- manga verse, spoilers if you haven’t seen the Ishbal arc.
Summary – She hates the light
Author’s Note – written for the [livejournal.com profile] fic_variations challenge, dark/light prompt, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] evil_little_dog for the beta.


She liked the darkness. Most soldiers would call her a fool for it. An Ishbalan could slip into camp like a shadow and kill them all. Riza knew this, was appropriately wary, but still preferred the night. Desert sand, baking like an oven in the day, didn’t hold the heat at night so it provided a brief respite. What sort of sadistic military didn’t have a desert uniform? In the day, everyone sweltered in the blue wool and many fell prey to heat exhaustion. Riza couldn’t abide it.

However, what bothered her about the day was the light itself. Glaring off the rocks, it blinded her, especially through her riflescope. Heat waves danced, making a clear shot tricky. The light fried her skin in the few places it was visible, her scalp red and peeling if she had to take off the stifling hat. But the very worst part of the light was the large portion of it that was firelight. Granted the flames were more striking in the dark but the Flame Alchemist was rarely sent out during the night. Fires fluttered over the sand in the day, followed by shrieks of people dying horribly.

Riza had always known how destructive her father’s alchemy was. She knew why he had never shown Roy the array. Riza regretted her decision to share it with Roy and he knew he had regrets, too, about learning it. He didn’t want to be the monster he had been forced to become.

The heat from Roy’s flames turned the desert into hell. The smell of cooking flesh filled the air, coating her mouth and throat with grease. The one thing she didn’t like in the night was Roy coming to her, hiding in the darkness, wanting comfort. The reek of atrocities clung to him and he’d want her to hold him, to move under him and the only thing in her mind would be how she had made a horrendous mistake and there was no way to take it back. Her love for him couldn’t squelch that inner voice or cover what this war was doing to their psyches.

As the last licks of light faded from the sky, Riza cleaned her guns meticulously. The dark came quickly as heat bled off into the air. It wouldn’t be long now and, as if he knew what she was thinking, Riza saw Roy coming up on her. His face, smeared with soot, held so much pain she could feel it like poison in her soul. She couldn’t make this better. She wanted to protect him. She did the best she could but there was no shield from the alchemy, not for either of them. This was their penance. Riza took him in her arms, trying not to make a face at the horrible smell of him. When this was over, if they made it out alive, she wanted to consign everything of theirs from this place to his flames. Maybe then the reek wouldn’t haunt her. Maybe she could forget the haunted onyx eyes staring out from the ash.

Maybe one day she could enjoy the light and dark together and this place would be an abandoned memory.

Date: 2007-07-05 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
thanks. This was easy to write as dark as it is. I think Riza's actions in Ishbal in regards to her tattoo says it all. She has some very deep regrets and feels very responsible for him. I'd like to do more one day with that theme. I believe she does love him very much but they have this black cloud over them and that kind of pressure has to do something to you

Date: 2007-07-06 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com
I hope you do write more about Riza - she's one of my favorite characters, and I love her to bits.

And what makes Riza and Roy's relationship so great, is they actually have legitamate angst pulling them part - it's not the kind of thing where if they just said, 'i like you' everything would be roses.

Date: 2007-07-07 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
oh yes, I think Riza and Roy's relationship is one of my all time favorites. i have plenty of stories with them if yuo haven't already found them

Date: 2007-07-07 05:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com
It's certainly one of my favorite anime relationships. I love that scene in the anime where she's on the train with Winry and talking about how she sometimes hate soldiers too and that she'll pull the trigger because she has someone to protect while she cleans her gun.... *shivers*

Date: 2007-07-07 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
yes that's a very good scene (and the manga takes that one step further in the frightening arena when she agrees to be the one to kill him if he gets out of control)

Date: 2007-07-08 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com
Damn, what volume is that in? Because... wow.

Date: 2007-07-09 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
oops it's not quite out yet, it's in the big ishabl arc somewhere in chapters number in the 50's

Date: 2007-07-09 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com
Well, something to look forward to.

Date: 2007-07-09 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
i know a lot of fans didn't like the Ishbal arc (i guess i can see it if you only like Ed and Al) but it ties the whole story together and it had all the Maes/roy/Riza/Kimbley I could ever want

Date: 2007-07-10 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com
Yeah, I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy the Ishbal arc when I get to it.

Date: 2007-07-10 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cornerofmadness.livejournal.com
the Ishbal arc to where we are with teh current issue really brings all teh backstory together and you get the big picture that you've only seen glimpses of. i love it

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