Help my depression

[cornerofmadness]

give this meme a shot Give me a title to a story you think I should've written, including (if you wish) fandom and pairings, and I'll write a summary who knows you might inspire me to write something.

Why am I depressed? Not ONE student thought my kitty cd-rom was cool. No one looked at it. Hell, they barely wanted to dissect. Whine all you want guys, these kitties have to last 8 more weeks. They ain't going to get any better smelling. Yes you must cut into them. No, you can relax I will NOT touch you with my gloves if they're dirty so if I touched you you know I'm barehanded or freshly re-gloved. Yes I DO put my tools in my pants pocket. I'm used to touching this stuff and being covered in toxic goo, relax. I'm not dead yet. Yes, i DID touch it with my bare hands. Just don't you do it. If you scream, you best be gushing blood and not because embalming fluid spat at you! And yes you will all be vegetarians by the end of this because I can't help making food references. Deal with it. Pathology/Physiology/Anatomy are ripe with these analogies. It makes a quick point

Dear Student #1 - okay, so you've done this before, telling me that does NOT make me let you out of lab. I put YOU in charge of helping your fellow students.

Dear Student #2 - Asking me which labs the lab practical is one while I'm HANDING OUT the test makes me want to embalm you. Don't do it.

Dear Lab Company - don't know where the fuck you get these anemic cats but damn, either you send me catzilla or some scrawny bastard even I can't find the muscles on.

Dear Students in general - you've beaten me. I'll only put two muscles from the cats on the exam Latissimis Dorsi and Serratus Anterior. You got a 50/50 shot so expect me to ask you WHAT THEY DO!! And expect these cats back when we get to organs and no whining then or else I'll pull the organs out and tag them sans reference points. I swear it.

Comments

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Your students astound me. But then, so did 50% of my classmates in college. I loved biology. I even loved dissection. (Although we didn't do cats. We did pigs. But that's okay 'cause I think the cats would've made me cry, but I managed to keep my mind away from all Charlotte's Web allusions while cutting open pigs. I even named mine. But I don't remember what I named it now.)

The only time I remember screaming/squealing/getting queasy is when I accidentally burst some organ or other and some really foul-smelling substance was excreted. I think, if I recall, that it was the pancreas. Maybe. I dunno. It's been a few years. All I remember was the stench, and the fact that I turned a little green around the gills and my lab partner (who was content to write all the names down on the paper while I poked and prodded the actual pig) got nervous because she thought she was going to have to start doing the cutting.

I also remember the day one of the snakes got loose in the classroom and I went scrabbling over the floor on my stomach, diving under desks, and caught him. The workstudy student who helped me re-tank him was muchly impressed - which was fine with me because he was about the yummiest thing I'd seen. Sweetheart and cute as a button. But apparently snake-wrangling wasn't enough to make him ask me out. But then again, he was shy, so... *grins*

We (Workstudy Boy and I) did meet up at a concert a few weeks later, unexpectedly, and he slammed me with a full-body hug and a, "OH MY GOD! How are you!?" And after he left with his friends, every single girl around me was like, "Holy shit, who was that and how do you know him?" *giggles*

See, girls, if you'd just learn to handle snakes you'd get a lot more boys. *innocent*

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I remember in the science class I didn't take in college (cause I wanted to hang with Chyki in the class he was taking), the prof insisted that everyone name their dissection pigs.

As for handling snakes...oh, I could tell a story or two. But I'm good.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

My students did manage to name the cats. One of them today was pregnant

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oooo, babies! How far along?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Well I think MY kitty might be giving birth as i type. The dead one was pretty well along but I'm not cutting that open until later

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was also wondering about Sciezca.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

she's doomed...I mean it. I'm at a loss

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I wish I could take her but.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

same here

[mjules.livejournal.com]

I think I named mine of my own volition because I'm sick and twisted like that. And despite my earlier claim that I managed to stay away from Charlotte's Web allusions, the harder I think about it, the more I think I named the poor little oinker Wilbur.

As for handling snakes...oh, I could tell a story or two. But I'm good.

Bwahahahahahaha*gasp*hahahahahahaha!

*wipes tears*

Yeah.

I just bet you are.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I've certainly been told that a few times before. *giggle*

[mjules.livejournal.com]

*snarfs*

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

You weren't eating or drinking anything, were you? /innocent

[mjules.livejournal.com]

This time, no. *grins* I've learned my lesson it would appear.

(That, and the wine bottle is all the way in the kitchen, all of six feet away.)

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Well, if it's THAT far away. *nods*

[mjules.livejournal.com]

*grins*

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Well, if it's six feet away....

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Now it's farther. I moved it when I cleaned the kitchen. It's probably nine feet now. But, unlike last night, that isn't going to stop me tonight. I think I rather need a glass.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

COM and I were discussing her having a margherita this evening.

...now I'm going to have to make a "lush!" icon with Roy and his scotch bottle, I see it now.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i could use that.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I figured you might want one.

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Oooh. I'm so glad you reminded me I wanted wine. I got all distracted by something else. *goes to get it right now*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Oh I've always always been snake girl. I'd hav enamed my pig Wilbur...in fact in H.S. I think I did. I splashed embalming fluid in my eye today. the most fun I had was sneaking out frog eyes in HS and during lunch pinned them to the hamburger buns of the popular girls while they were busy styling away from the table

[mjules.livejournal.com]

*gapes at your frogs' eyes story*

Sooooo glad I was not a popular girl at your high school! *laughs*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I used to be a very vindictive bitch, especially in college.