SH*T my students say
May. 4th, 2011 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessFinals were today. I got an unexpected amount of cards and letters from students thanking me and telling me how much they like me and how I teach (into the tenure portfolio those go). I got two plaques, a oil heating kit, a thank you handshake and a pie. Apple Pie. This is the famed Gracia Hughes Pie. It was one of the best pies I've ever had. One of my nurses baked it from scratch. The boy can cook. I also got a chocolate gift in the mail. HYSTERICAL. (and thank you virtual papercut). It came in a COOLER. In fact it had a fatter reusable gel freezer pack in it. For a box that's two fingerwidths. I'm as thrilled with the gel pack as I am with the candy. It's on my shoulder now (It's nicer than the one I got at walmart)
I haven't had time to grade the nurses' tests yet but I do have the anatomy one done. Oh dear god. ALL but 3 want to be in healthcare. (the other 3 are coach wannabes and one chemist so @ 18 health care worker wannabes). 3 had nearly perfect papers but they have done all semester. I've had two of them before than they are delights.
The culmination of sexual stimulation, which is accompanied by a sense of physiological and
psychological release, is called ___ESTROGEN____________ . (the term we used in
class, NOT any of the terms you might hear at the TKE house) (REALLY???)
from the resp. section : Name one non-respiratory air movement________________________ Fart, Burp (where in your airways does THIS happen??) and Sneaze (yeah i didn't even mark that one wrong)
Pancreatic fluid contains a high concentration of ____________, which makes it alkaline. Most common answers Acid/HCL (Go repeat chemistry and leave me alone)
Which portion of the esophagus has voluntary skeletal muscle?_______________________ Most common mistake? Trachae.. (so how much food do YOU put down your trachae. Not enough. Here's some grapes and marshmallows, give it a whirl)
Normally, the most common type of leukocyte in a blood sample is the __Red Blood Cells_______________. (okay the students SHOULD know leuko means WHITE, it's only drummed into their heads for weeks),
But the all time winner for this batch
Fertilization normally occurs in the KIDNEYS____________ WHAT???? OMG. Seriously? Checks name. YOU'RE FEMALE!!! WHAT?? My cats know that ain't right.
Mom got me the flight for under 800$ and told me she would shoot me if i ever thought about flying into Canada again. Next time YOU DRIVE.
Can someone please tell Soul I'm tired of playing fetch. Two hours is long enough.
Oh and happy Star Wars day. May the 4th be with you
I love the no whining one. I had it up on the wall already! I gave the pie to coworkers except that sliver and now I'm regretting my generousity (as if i need to eat a whole pie)
I haven't had time to grade the nurses' tests yet but I do have the anatomy one done. Oh dear god. ALL but 3 want to be in healthcare. (the other 3 are coach wannabes and one chemist so @ 18 health care worker wannabes). 3 had nearly perfect papers but they have done all semester. I've had two of them before than they are delights.
The culmination of sexual stimulation, which is accompanied by a sense of physiological and
psychological release, is called ___ESTROGEN____________ . (the term we used in
class, NOT any of the terms you might hear at the TKE house) (REALLY???)
from the resp. section : Name one non-respiratory air movement________________________ Fart, Burp (where in your airways does THIS happen??) and Sneaze (yeah i didn't even mark that one wrong)
Pancreatic fluid contains a high concentration of ____________, which makes it alkaline. Most common answers Acid/HCL (Go repeat chemistry and leave me alone)
Which portion of the esophagus has voluntary skeletal muscle?_______________________ Most common mistake? Trachae.. (so how much food do YOU put down your trachae. Not enough. Here's some grapes and marshmallows, give it a whirl)
Normally, the most common type of leukocyte in a blood sample is the __Red Blood Cells_______________. (okay the students SHOULD know leuko means WHITE, it's only drummed into their heads for weeks),
But the all time winner for this batch
Fertilization normally occurs in the KIDNEYS____________ WHAT???? OMG. Seriously? Checks name. YOU'RE FEMALE!!! WHAT?? My cats know that ain't right.
Mom got me the flight for under 800$ and told me she would shoot me if i ever thought about flying into Canada again. Next time YOU DRIVE.
Can someone please tell Soul I'm tired of playing fetch. Two hours is long enough.
Oh and happy Star Wars day. May the 4th be with you
I love the no whining one. I had it up on the wall already! I gave the pie to coworkers except that sliver and now I'm regretting my generousity (as if i need to eat a whole pie)
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:29 am (UTC)I love the 'No Whining" plaque. *giggles*
What great gifts. What great students. Oh, and your goofy students are goofy.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:41 am (UTC)Where do these students come from?!!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:43 am (UTC)OMG Your students! They really need to learn their prefixes and suffixes at least. That alone would help! This one killed me:
Pancreatic fluid contains a high concentration of ____________, which makes it alkaline. Most common answers Acid/HCL (Go repeat chemistry and leave me alone)
LOL Someone missed the lesson on the pH scale.
Nothing like a good round of 'bribe the prof' during the last day of finals.
Dr. Bob's Answer
Date: 2011-05-05 02:53 am (UTC)I'm skeered of these students. I didn't know the answers to all, but I do know that acids (or specifically HCL) aren't alkaline, and that leukocytes are not red blood cells.
UR Doing It Wrong
Date: 2011-05-05 02:53 am (UTC)::boggle::
Yum! There's a place down near Wilcox, Arizona, that makes giant apple pies like that.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:59 am (UTC)Isn't that plaque great?
SOme of my students are very good. they just usually get outshone by the dimwits
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:12 am (UTC)Both of the plaques are great. :D
Isn't that always the way?
Re: UR Doing It Wrong
Date: 2011-05-05 03:15 am (UTC)Oooo, loves fruit pie
Re: Dr. Bob's Answer
Date: 2011-05-05 03:26 am (UTC)well yes, you might need the notes to answer these but I would have thought everyone knew acids were you know ACIDIC
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:37 am (UTC)no kidding. And like 20 of them thought the pancreas makes acid to make it more alkaline
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:44 am (UTC)*headwall*
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:44 am (UTC)they are
oh yes
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 04:36 am (UTC)shouldnt we know this before we even get to college?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 04:59 am (UTC)Nice pic of the gifts you have! The kitty one is very cute and I love the "No Whining" one.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 12:07 pm (UTC)O.O I have nothing to say about those students, especially the one who thinks fertilization happens in the kidneys.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 12:39 pm (UTC)Congrats on not killing any students!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:07 pm (UTC)I don't see them again. It's what keeps them alive
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:14 pm (UTC)my students less so
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:15 pm (UTC)and yet, the dimwits do steal their thunder a bit. I think I would be disappointed and miss your posts if you didn`t have a few to comment on each semester..
?kidneys?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:37 pm (UTC)That apple pie looks amazing, I seriously need to learn how to bake...Or take up teaching...Haaa..
And oh good god, those answers! I really worry about the girl who put kidneys ._. Did she skip the entirety of sex ed or something?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 02:40 pm (UTC)they are cute plaques
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:23 pm (UTC)I'm a cook. I'm not a baker sadly
Yes I think she must never have heard a sex ed lecture in her life
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:30 pm (UTC)Oh we'd all be disappointed if I suddenly had all A students
yep those darned egg recieving kidneys
Re: Dr. Bob's Answer
Date: 2011-05-05 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 03:58 pm (UTC)I've only taken Biology and that was 100 years ago, but even *I* could answer some of those questions! And had I studied for, I don't know 15 minutes, I could have probably answered the rest of them!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-05 05:49 pm (UTC)I know. it's like only one of these were remotely challenging
no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 05:56 pm (UTC)i should put that on the syllabus
no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-10 09:12 pm (UTC)