I want to know

[cornerofmadness]

why I have less energy now than when I was working. THis sucks. I'm in a very bad mood tonight so just take anything with a grain of salt and tell me to STFU if I'm out of order. Blame my hormones. Oh, last month whenI had to see the gynie the period came early. Now it's late by almost a week. It's probably plotting to ruin my vacation. But what it's ruining right now is my blood sugar. Last night it was so high I was beyond bitchy into the almost too lethargic to move stage (as in maybe the ER wouldn't be a bad idea except, oh right, they'll just give me more insulin. I can do that here). Today it's still well over 300 and that puts me in a frame of mind that isn't my own. I can't explain it. Sometimes, when i'm dealing with people and my sugar is this high the stuff coming out of my mouth stuns me with how mean it is.

So I've been dealing with that all day, getting weepy and upset over very little. THough sometimes, I think maybe it IS valid reasons to get a little irritated. I'm all for fighting for recognition and rights but when you start denigrating everyone who ISN'T in your subsection of whatever it is then aren't you just as prejudiced and mean as the people you percieve as holding you back (and the whole idea of having to match their meanness with your own doesn't hold much water with me).

I keep accomplishing nothing. I just want to lie around and do nothing and I know that's the depression talking. Sigh.

BTW I did find out today that the MRI on my shoulder wasn't last fall. it was in August. I've been dealing with this for nearly a year. I should probably have had this surgery over christmas. As suck ass as last Christmas was I'm glad I didn't.

My Space Pirate story will need to lose a few thousand words to be acceptible. slams head into desk.

And i'm over my broadband limit and am paying out the nose to be online right now and I don't even fucking care.

On a more happy note, sort of, flipping thru channels after NCIS tonight (still not ready to talk about it or castle) I saw Hines Ward drop his partner in practice wherein she got hurt pretty badly. I have some respect for him now as a human being, watching him not only cry at the time but cry after the dance because he was so worried about hurting her again and the concern he showed for her after the dance. She was the one trying to hold him together. Also, he is a very sexy dancer.

Also I DID get my prompts in for fma_ladyfest Who's gonna join me? yes yes, still thinking about fma_slashfest





Lake Katherine again. I was aiming at the dogwood but you can see ash and maple and others. Also Just noticed the tent worms in the tree in the foreground

Comments

[seatbeltdrivein.livejournal.com]

I submitted my ladyfest prompt, too. I think we should give up on ever having a blank to-do list. I decided to be more narrow on the list of characters I would be willing to write this time, though, that way it takes me less effort. Writing Catherine Armstrong last time was kind of a stretch.

I'm all for fighting for recognition and rights but when you start denigrating everyone who ISN'T in your subsection of whatever it is then aren't you just as prejudiced and mean as the people you percieve as holding you back. THIS, thank you, I need a damn sign that says this so I can point it out to people.

Sorry about the blood sugar and the hormone mess. That's hard to deal with, but I guess it's better that it happens when you're not at work?

Gorgeous picture!

How's Soul doing today?

[bay115.livejournal.com]

Urgh, I know that feeling of not accomplishing anything. The past few days I was pretty bummed out over many things, so I wasn't in the mood to do anything, which then leads me to getting depressed over that, ack. Hopefully you'll be in a better mood soon.

I too turned in my prompts for fma_ladyfest! I can't wait to see which prompts I get. Also looking forward to see which prompt(s) you'll request at fma_slashfest (I'm one of the mods there, so I'll be able to read the comments in the prompt request post, LOL).

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you very much and yes that's just it, the cycle, you don't do anythng because you feel down then you feel down because you didn't do anything

hahaha, yes I saw that. I'm not much of a slasher so I'm still thinking about it (I only have one pairing I'll do and one I'll think about doing)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh i would be bored if I had nothing on my to-do list. I only had 2 that I really don't feel comfortable writing (Mei and Rose, so watch me get Catherine since i Never even thought about her or the other sisters)

well yes b ut at least at work I can put it aside and teach (but I'm less tolerant of bullshit in the classroom)

thanks

I ran over him twice with the chair so he's pissed

[seatbeltdrivein.livejournal.com]

Hah, yeah, during the last round, I'd only been writing FMA for maybe two months? So Catherine never even crossed my mind, and of course, I received her and Maria.

That's true. It's always easier when there's something to distract with. That's true of depression in general. The only good advice I ever got from a therapist was to never be idle.

HAH, DID YOU REALLY? He'll be trying to trip you when you stand up.

Also, I was wondering, would you mind if I asked you a few questions about physician shadowing? I am at a loss.

[sillymagpie.livejournal.com]

Depression sucks, no matter what causes it. (hugs)

Of course your period is plotting against you. That's what it DOES. (So glad that's over for me.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you and yes it does

yes I'm pretty sure that it is what it does

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oops naturally. my ladyfest was so crazy unusual but I loved it

yeah idle is a real problem for me

yes. I really got him last night, tore out a clump of fur. I felt so bad.

yes you may

[seatbeltdrivein.livejournal.com]

I can't even remember what most of the fics were from last year! I need to go back through the archive when I have time.

Idle = batshit crazy, pretty much.

He is so going to get you for that!

Thank you! Okay, so I'm trying to stretch out the year I have left of my BS, because I need time to fit in shadowing and volunteer work and research stuff, but I'd like to schedule shadowing during semester breaks. How far in advance should I try to schedule, and where is the best chance of actually getting an offer? I'd like to try shadowing in the ER room or a surgeon, because surgery is where I want to go, but somehow, I think I'll have a hard time finding a Dr to agree. In terms of what medical schools look at, does any specific type of shadowing look better than another type?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

my lady fest was crazy but I loved it. Younger Pinako and Hoho meet Chris Mustang

no argument about idle

He tried this morning. He was stalknig me in the kitchne but the toaster coughed up my muffins and scared the hell out of him

you need to check with your school first, wiht the pre-med advisor. They may have a list of doctors okay withh shadowing and you have to use them for legal reasons (my school does).

check with medical schools you're interested in and look at what they want. Some are placing student research above shadowing nowadays. you probably will not find a surgeon who'll let you do more than sit in on office visits for legal reasons.

but do start with the school and see who they have on tap. As far as I know where you shadow doesn't matter much. They don't even care if you have anatomy for the most part. You need to star gettnig your chemistry up as soon as you can

[flybynight00.livejournal.com]

My guess would be adrenalin crash. Everyone's stressed towards the end of the semester, and their adrenalin kicks in just to keep them going. You can have an early period as your body says 'FUCK like I'm going to have a baby right now' and cuts your cycle off. Then it waits to start ovulating again until it thinks your life has settled down, and aha! Late period. Sneaky baby-wanting bodies.

Now I hope you actually have less stress, and wham. Crash, and your body goes haywire. I guess the bad news is you would just have to wait it out, and good news would be it isn't a serious underlying problem? I'm sure that isn't much comfort when your insulin is so high! I hope I haven't annoyed you with my internet diagnosing.

The insulin sounds really scary, and I know I wouldn't cope with it as well as you do.

Hugs and I hope you feel better soon.

[hierath.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to have a look at the space pirates for you. I'm quite good at making things shorter!

Also *hugs*

[virtualpapercut.livejournal.com]

If it helps any, I go through some form of depression combined with impatience and malcontent every single summer. Though I long to have the summer to not teach, I simultaneously (I think) lose the regular schedule aspect of things and it messes me up. Add early menopause to the mix and I've been a total bear lately. (No insult to bears intended, lol.) I'm grouchy, weepy, and generally not fun. Maybe am coming out of it a bit now, mostly by acknowledging that's what's going on. Hugs to you.

[ital-gal.livejournal.com]

i always have more energy when working than when not too, and I know all too well (this year especially) that cycle. And I don`t have blood sugar issues to blame for it.

Nice to know its not just my period that plots against..., it never used too, but as I am getting older it seems like it is trying to make up for lost time...

I am behind on Space Pirates reading, still have both posts bookmarked. nice to have something to look forward too.

[winters-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I like Hines. He's actually a football player that isn't a total selfish ass. They were showing bits of his growing up on Monday. His mom is Korean and his dad is black and they divorced after she moved to the US because apparently Koreans have little tolerance for bi-racial babies when he was born. (Don't know if that's still the fact).

But yeah. WHen the EMTs were there, she was worried about all the time they were going to lose for their routines and he was like "don't worry about it, don't worry about it."

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'm loathed to admit it might be age though we all know it could be. Though my sugar broke and went to normal (actual normal) last night and this morning I feel better than I have in 2 weeks.

My periods have been plotters my whole life, bastards.

hope you enjoy

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you.

I apparently need to have something to distract me. i've always known this and I do need something of a schedule or I do nothing (I've gotten more written in 2 days by setting the timer on the stove for 15 min and telling myself nothing else to do but write til that timer goes off).

the menopause symptoms always suck (hell the peri-menopause symptoms suck) so hugs back for you

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Yeah I knew that about Hines (but only recently. I know a lot of Asian countries used to have real issues with bi-racial babies, not sure if they're any more tolerant now).

I didn't see that part (I don't really watch these shows but if I were to watch any reality show this might be it)

But yes Hines seems like a decent dude. Troy Polmalu too (who went back to finish his degree during this dumb lock out)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you very much. Hopefully I'll have it done today.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

my adrenaline is pretty funky anyhow (there's a tumor sitting in one of my glands)

This body really needs to get over the whole baby thing. It only has a couple years left on that one.

Diabetes is scary. It helps that I used to be a diabetic wound care doc so I know pretty intimately what is going on.

thanks