Can't win for losing

[cornerofmadness]

I went to Columbus to the shoulder surgeon at OSU. First, however, I got there early enough to go to lunch in the Short North to the Happy Greek. However, getting off the highway I was filmed by a reporter. Right next to the street, there were cops everywhere, K-9 and yellow tape. I suspect someone got killed there. Got my gyros (after a very bad parallel park job….)

Got to the clinic, met 2 residents (well one resident and one student), got sent for X-rays and they actually LISTENED to me (that’s the good thing about residents, they’re so damn paranoid about messing up they actually take their time). They did muscles tests and I could hear them with my actual surgeon asking and answering questions about my MRI. I was right. The radiologist screwed up. He totally ignored the inflammation of my biceps (which is where a lot of pain is). Even I saw it on the MRI and I don’t know how to read shoulders well. The surgeon here went by report alone (partially my fault. I thought the MRI’s were at the clinic but they weren’t but when he had me come back in 2 weeks he did NOT have me bring them with). They even listened to me and told the doc when I told them my brother is a PT and he’d already advised me about treatment times and had me working the shoulder.

The doc (who is young and very yay gadget) brought out a little doodad that was like a hand dynamometer for every muscle. I would have killed for that when I was doing muscle evals. There is definite weakness in my left arm. There is obvious pain. There is arthritis at the acromioclavicular joint (where the collar bone meet the shoulder blade). AND he believes that I DO have a partial of full-thickness tear of the supraspinatus tendon (one of the shoulder rotator cuff muscles) and I may have the same on the origins of the biceps. This is bad news. Like the worst news you’re going to get for soft tissue outside of hey it’s cancer in there.

We talked and agreed another MRI would be a waste (it’s been nearly a year). I’ve already failed on shots and PT. I have to have the surgery. Best case, it is only what the first doc thinks it is, they’ll take out the burse and shave off the arthritic spurs and I can get done with PT in a month. Worst case, they have to do the above and then fix the rotator cuff AND cut off the biceps and move it to where it’s not getting the damage it is now. I’m in a sling for 2 months. I can’t start PT until 4 weeks post-op and then I’m in therapy for 4-6 months and it will be a full year before I’m fully healed.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to go to work. I should be able to drive myself there but I’ll need help in lab. I have no idea how to work PT around my schedule since they have no evening sessions. I don’t know who’s gonna help with the cats. My brother was really hoping this wouldn’t be the case since it’s one of the most painful rehabs out there. In contrast a total knee replacement are usually done in 8 weeks. It’s scary and depressing.

So I put it behind me and went shopping. I mean, what else can I do? I drove to 80 miles to see the doc. I’m in Columbus. The shoulder is what it is. I’ll have to deal with it. Might as well go enjoy myself. I have this thing, you see, where I can’t resist high end fancy foods. I bought cheeses, wine, incense, tea and sprouts at Whole Food Market (I would have bought the fiddlehead ferns but I need to research what to do with them first). I went to Trader Joes and stocked up on Indian food for lunch, mango-ginger chutney and more cheese. JoAnn Fabrics have nothing I want and last night I came to the realization that frankly the sewing involved in Steampunk is so intense and so much fabric is needed I might as well buy the dress. It won’t cost much more.

I hit Tadka’s the Indian restaurant I wanted to try, owned by the fancy-butt Chinese restaurant (ELD you’ve been there) were everything is ala carte and by the end you owe 25$ or more. No one was in the place. I almost didn’t go but it was like 430 (it was busy by the time I left), got some odd appetizer with mushrooms and cheese which was okay, I got paneer tikka which was supposed to be paneer cheese and tandoor grilled veggies. Well I thought it would be in little cubes as paneer usually is. Imagine if you will the block of tofu you get at most grocery stores. It was slightly bigger than that cut into 6 hunks. O_o. Yay for eating a huge hunk of cheese for dinner. I’ll probably be dead by morning. It was good (I only ate half, I’ll kill myself with the other half tomorrow) and I got the gulab punjar dessert and oh a mango lassi.

I rolled over to the Barnes and Nobles (since ALL the Borders are no more in Columbus) and got a Starbucks to go home with. Also, it’s amazing how SMALL your manga collection is when you censor all the yaoi stuff (wonders if they know how yuri parts of Qwaser of the Stigmata is). Came home. It was very nice outside.

So now the shoulder hurts. I’m depressed. I called off going out with friends tomorrow (three couldn’t go and the other two live in the opposite direction and I would have driven back to Athens myself to do exactly what I did yesterday plus the farmers market). I wish I wasn’t going to that convention. I just want to deal with the shoulder and be done with it. Also, Seatbelt & Enemy this pretty much dooms any hope I have of coming to the con if it is in fact the worst case scenario.

I’m just going to sit hear and eat all the olives and organic vanilla wafers I bought (yes together, leave me alone).






I love this particular spot on this walk.I often stop and sit here awhile. You can't really see it but the tree in the wash of sunlight is a rare tree for this area, a broadleaf or umbrella magnolia (not sure which but there are both in these woods and both are unusual for OH)

also if today is the last day, thanks for making it fun guys! Cuz you know I'm pretty sure if there's a rapture, I'm not going. Or more fun, I would go and shock a whole lot of people...