Frustrated, Angry, Scared

[cornerofmadness]

All the emotions for today. I had to see the endocrinologist today. Unfortunately I had to walk past an old woman with a foot injury and everything in me wanted to stop and help her even though I know she was there to see her actual doctor. It's hard to see something you trained SO HARD for and know you can't do it any more. I know there are others on my flist who know how this feels. You know you would have been good at it or were good at it then your body betrays you.

So I was practically in tears before I even got to the doctor's office. He had no good news for me. We had DOUBLED my insulin over the last three months. I gained nearly 10 pounds as a result. Nothing happened. My blood sugar didn't change ONE BIT. He gave up. No, seriously, he gave up and told me it wouldn't hurt his feelings if I got a second opinion especially while I'm in Pittsburgh. I said I had planned on it.

We are going to try a severe diet for 1-2 weeks to see if it resets anything. There is another stronger insulin we could try, higher concentration, lower dose which absorbs better (why we didn't do this now i don't know). And we're looking at that adrenal tumor again to see if it's putting out cortisol.

I'm pretty demoralized by the whole thing.

I've started cleaning this dump. That is just more demoralizing.

But someone from my local group sent this along and it's a laugh. http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/bizarre-books-you-wont-believe-actually-exist



day 221 item tossed -Green lace backed shirt Why kept -It was given to grandma by charity…who brings lace backed shirts to a nursing home? why tossed -As it turns out it doesn’t look any better on the middle-aged. Bye bye

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Wish I had some great encouraging words to give you. Maybe Pittsburgh will have a better idea? Good luck on the diet, too.

And cleaning.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

or the dex suppression test tells us something (but I've had it twice in the last 20 years and it comes back normal)

Someone has to have an answer soon.

thanks

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*huggles* I really hope you can get your sugar under control. It must be so frustration not being able to & then not getting a reason why you can't. *huggles*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

It is so very much so and it's wrecking the rest of my health.

Thank you.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*nods* I can't even imagine how it must be, but I really hope you can get some answers. *huggles*

You're welcome.

[sholio]

That just sounds terrifying, as well as unpleasant in all kinds of small ways. I hope this helps.

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

sorry about the past stuff and insulin mess :(

but you made me laugh about that tossed out shirt

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

That's very hard news. I hope you find someone really good for a second opinion, and another option that works. I know the dieting weeks will be hard--hope you find a way to get through.

[rahirah]

That really sucks. I hope a second opinion will shed some light. :(

I actually knew someone who wove yarn from dog hair...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. I do too

I've known people who've done yarn with cat and dog

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

It is. Thank you very much

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you.

seriously there is no way to wear that shirt without showing your bra. And in that size, do you really want to go bra-less? You might put out an eye.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you very much

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. It's pretty darn sucky

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. Yeah... Hopefully, you'll find out soon.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that would be nice

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry the doctor had such disappointing news.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Obviously, they're not doing it right.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

yeah...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

me too. thanks

[wildrider.livejournal.com]

Blah on the insulin problem.

Need a diet buddy? I need something to jump-start me again, I've hit the plateau YET AGAIN, and my head ached too much today to go workout. (Plus the stupid aches and pains. Now the outside edge of my foot hurts, for no freakin' good reason.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it sucks

I'm not sure how much of a buddy I'd be since it's only for a week (read a massively restricted starvation diet in an attempt to restart the blood sugars) but I could try

[silvrethorn.livejournal.com]

We always knew you'd end up as somebody's medical experiment, didn't we? On the plus side, maybe you'll be part of the study that finally finds the key to conquering Type 2 diabetes--for good. That would be a fine legacy.

The diet sounds interesting. Tell us what happens (I'm betting either nothing or you get sicker, because that's always what happens when you go on a medical diet).

Almost as good as the lace-backed blouse was the shirt/jacket thing I tried on recently. Very smart, tailored, stand-up collar with vee neck, little chiffon fish-tail in back--and for some reason, the chiffon continued around the side so it formed two perfect windows for my muffin tops. I have no idea how you're supposed to wear that thing with pants or anything with a waistband and not look stupid. And fat. I wonder about designers.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes, we really did, didn't we?

I'm betting on sicker. That's what happened the last two times I've had to do this.

Yeah, that makes no sense. A lot of things don't. Just flip through Roaman's or Lady Within some time. They have a lot of nice stuff (mostly Roaman's) and some stuff makes you wonder why they thought that pattern/colors/style would look good on a plus sized woman. It's like please give us clothes that flatter our size, not things that make us look like overstuffed sausages in clown clothes.