My Parents

As you know my mom is here helping me (i tried doing stuff today and realized I was WAY weaker than I thought. went back to lounging). I was reading an email from dad and mom said to ask him this.
Mom - Have you washed dishes yet?

Dad's email - No smart shit, I put the wheelbarrow in the garage to store the dirty dishes so I don’t have to smell them. I’ll wash them with the garden hose when the weather turns nice or when your mother returns, whichever comes first! I figure I have enough dishes to last76 days; can you stand to have your mother for another 76 days?

Mom - Tell him I'm not impressed. Fine, I'll stay here. Tell him to send my unemployment checks and my portion of his 401 K here. (so I email...)


Dad - Mom wants her check....is she nuts! Where does she think I'm going to get the money to pay my girl friends to come in to cook and clean? I wasn't trying to impress your mom; I was trying to terrify you with her 76-day hiatus. If you really get on my nerves, I’ll send Grandma Sandy down to you…now whose side on you on? Remember I also have your Aunt Jean in reserve! I’m a Donkey on the edge and I’m not scared to use my arsenal. (yes Dad's that big of a Shrek fan)

Mom - give me that phone! places call. 'you're a donkey all right...'

These are the people who gave me life. I never had a prayer.