So today was worse than yesterday
May. 22nd, 2019 09:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessHow is that possible? Let me run it down. Well I skipped the tick antibiotics (will take tonight) because I was already nauseous and remembered I HAD to go to Huntington today or face the mall over Memorial day again (oh hells no, did that last year).
I wasn't awake 2 minutes when Kanda came for his usual toilet-side hello mommy petting session and I found a bloated tick on him. Either it crawled through my shitty doors or it came in on me. Either way I was grossed out.
It was already way hotter than yesterday (it went from 53 yesterday to 91 today, guess which I preferred) and the huge swing did it's normal beat me with a hammer thing to my joints. I was getting ready to go out the door when L. called.
So the president pushed the deadline for notification from today to tomorrow BUT L called to tell me they laid off the physicist which means either they're getting an adjunct or instructor (both very low paid) to do physics OR they're cutting chemistry, biomedical biology, ultrasound tech, AYA science (middle school/h.s. teachers) and the sports med/physical therapist prep.
So I was thinking about that all the way down and realizing this was the WRONG road in West Virginia to be driving because the thoughts in my head were all: can I drive off the tragic Silver Bridge (no, not without crossing traffic and hurting someone), I CAN drive off the road here right into the Ohio River. Oh look I can cross active railroad tracks and then into the river. Oh Look red flashing lights, let's see if I beat the train (obviously yes, I beat it), hey I can fly off the curve here, that's no river down there but it IS a swamp.
Knowing my luck I'd only hurt myself enough to make life worse. (also I have no will currently) It's funny in a sad way that ALL three of the hospital systems I go to have the nurse do a mental health test that basically goes a) are you depressed? b) do you have suicidal thoughts? c) are you afraid to be in your home alone?
I always answer yes and not today (and no) and not once in the four years since this has become protocol has ANYONE followed up on that. I'm waiting to see if someone does (knowing I'm allergic to almost all current anti-depressants and knowing United Health care does it's best to get out of paying for ANY mental health issues).
The actual shopping trip was good. I passed on Hillbilly Hotdogs as I'm not hungry. The Inner Geek took back ALL the comic books they sold me that should have been removed from my pull list as dupes (they sold me two of the same on the same day to top it off) and gave me at first a paper receipt as my money back voucher and she looks at it and then at me and asked, would you rather this on a gift card because if you lose this it can't be reissued. Well duh, yes PLEASE give me a plastic card over a two inch piece of paper.
As I left, I wasn't charged for parking in the garage because I wasn't there a half hour. bonus! As I paid the toll taker in the parking garage, I thought I actually envy you your job (not your pay mind you), all day just reading books (or in my case, writing them) and occasionally make change, sign me up. You laugh but one of the better jobs I had for freeing up my mind was file clerk at the officeevil_little_dog worked at.
I was prepared with a zillion coupons to bed bath and beyond to get black out curtains for my bedrooms. But it's no longer at the mall. SIgh. I did go to Macy's got a cute shirt and a pair of jeans to replace the two I'm donating. THey were on Memorial Day sale for 25$. Yay. There was another pair I almost bought but it was like it had been mauled by bears. I'm just not into the ripped jeans thing and I wasn't when it was popular when I was a teen either. I noticed in the mirror in the fitting room that my abdomen is now covered with lines of purpura (tiny bruises) from the autoimmune issue I have, Idiopathic Leukoclastic vasculitis where my white blood cells eat my blood vessels (happens every time I'm super stressed). It's what killed Harold Ramis.
I also encouraged two teen boys to get the tux jackets they were modeling in Macy's, entirely made of black sequins. They were having too much fun with them.
I went to TJ Maxx/Homegoods and nearly bought a garden buddha. Why are the resin ones (that the sun will destroy) twice the price of the 100 pound cement ones? In the end I didn't buy them but got something for Mom and some funky jellies for me (including some weird spread from Italy that's orange-pistachio butter.)
I went back to Chili's and got the chicken and waffles again but this time the tenders were so small I'd have called them nuggets. If I had an appetite (and didn't figure I'd spend tonight vomiting from doxycyclin anyhow) I'd have sent them back. On the other hand the waitress talked me into blackberry ice tea and gave me three glasses plus a 32 ouncer to go home with (along with half the dinner).
I also stopped at Books-a-million to try and take back two manga I accidentally duplicated. I blamed a 'friend who bought from my Christmas list for my birthday but didn't realize I had already had them and had no receipt' They did give me a store gift card which is all I really wanted. I'm sure there's plenty to buy from BaM. I got a coupon for 1$ of frappe so I got one (and that huge ice tea is in my fridge for tomorrow.'
The ride back was better. My characters drowned out my thoughts. Naturally they're not telling me stories I need to finish but rather the sequels to them. Sigh. I'm still trying to decide do I tell the![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
summer_of_giles story in the Hyperion Son universe or the Key to Destruction one (I could probably even use the Vegas one I just found but the humor in that is a tad mean, not that the sequel needs to be). Guess I'm going to have to roll dice if no one has anything they're dying to see me tackle. I did turn in my snippets for wipbigbang and maybe, just maybe I'll get some art. WHo knows. If not, that's cool too.
Got home to learn my cousin fell in Italy and broke her arm but is refusing to go to a doctor there. I'm like are ALL my relatives idiots? Mom said yes. I'm just shaking my head.
Went to take a bath and read and I always put on Sirius's classical station when I do only to have it playing Mozart's requiem, the piece of music I requested for my funeral back when I had a will (it died in Oct of 2005 with everything else on that old Dell and I've never redone it)
I wasn't awake 2 minutes when Kanda came for his usual toilet-side hello mommy petting session and I found a bloated tick on him. Either it crawled through my shitty doors or it came in on me. Either way I was grossed out.
It was already way hotter than yesterday (it went from 53 yesterday to 91 today, guess which I preferred) and the huge swing did it's normal beat me with a hammer thing to my joints. I was getting ready to go out the door when L. called.
So the president pushed the deadline for notification from today to tomorrow BUT L called to tell me they laid off the physicist which means either they're getting an adjunct or instructor (both very low paid) to do physics OR they're cutting chemistry, biomedical biology, ultrasound tech, AYA science (middle school/h.s. teachers) and the sports med/physical therapist prep.
So I was thinking about that all the way down and realizing this was the WRONG road in West Virginia to be driving because the thoughts in my head were all: can I drive off the tragic Silver Bridge (no, not without crossing traffic and hurting someone), I CAN drive off the road here right into the Ohio River. Oh look I can cross active railroad tracks and then into the river. Oh Look red flashing lights, let's see if I beat the train (obviously yes, I beat it), hey I can fly off the curve here, that's no river down there but it IS a swamp.
Knowing my luck I'd only hurt myself enough to make life worse. (also I have no will currently) It's funny in a sad way that ALL three of the hospital systems I go to have the nurse do a mental health test that basically goes a) are you depressed? b) do you have suicidal thoughts? c) are you afraid to be in your home alone?
I always answer yes and not today (and no) and not once in the four years since this has become protocol has ANYONE followed up on that. I'm waiting to see if someone does (knowing I'm allergic to almost all current anti-depressants and knowing United Health care does it's best to get out of paying for ANY mental health issues).
The actual shopping trip was good. I passed on Hillbilly Hotdogs as I'm not hungry. The Inner Geek took back ALL the comic books they sold me that should have been removed from my pull list as dupes (they sold me two of the same on the same day to top it off) and gave me at first a paper receipt as my money back voucher and she looks at it and then at me and asked, would you rather this on a gift card because if you lose this it can't be reissued. Well duh, yes PLEASE give me a plastic card over a two inch piece of paper.
As I left, I wasn't charged for parking in the garage because I wasn't there a half hour. bonus! As I paid the toll taker in the parking garage, I thought I actually envy you your job (not your pay mind you), all day just reading books (or in my case, writing them) and occasionally make change, sign me up. You laugh but one of the better jobs I had for freeing up my mind was file clerk at the office
evil_little_dog worked at.I was prepared with a zillion coupons to bed bath and beyond to get black out curtains for my bedrooms. But it's no longer at the mall. SIgh. I did go to Macy's got a cute shirt and a pair of jeans to replace the two I'm donating. THey were on Memorial Day sale for 25$. Yay. There was another pair I almost bought but it was like it had been mauled by bears. I'm just not into the ripped jeans thing and I wasn't when it was popular when I was a teen either. I noticed in the mirror in the fitting room that my abdomen is now covered with lines of purpura (tiny bruises) from the autoimmune issue I have, Idiopathic Leukoclastic vasculitis where my white blood cells eat my blood vessels (happens every time I'm super stressed). It's what killed Harold Ramis.
I also encouraged two teen boys to get the tux jackets they were modeling in Macy's, entirely made of black sequins. They were having too much fun with them.
I went to TJ Maxx/Homegoods and nearly bought a garden buddha. Why are the resin ones (that the sun will destroy) twice the price of the 100 pound cement ones? In the end I didn't buy them but got something for Mom and some funky jellies for me (including some weird spread from Italy that's orange-pistachio butter.)
I went back to Chili's and got the chicken and waffles again but this time the tenders were so small I'd have called them nuggets. If I had an appetite (and didn't figure I'd spend tonight vomiting from doxycyclin anyhow) I'd have sent them back. On the other hand the waitress talked me into blackberry ice tea and gave me three glasses plus a 32 ouncer to go home with (along with half the dinner).
I also stopped at Books-a-million to try and take back two manga I accidentally duplicated. I blamed a 'friend who bought from my Christmas list for my birthday but didn't realize I had already had them and had no receipt' They did give me a store gift card which is all I really wanted. I'm sure there's plenty to buy from BaM. I got a coupon for 1$ of frappe so I got one (and that huge ice tea is in my fridge for tomorrow.'
The ride back was better. My characters drowned out my thoughts. Naturally they're not telling me stories I need to finish but rather the sequels to them. Sigh. I'm still trying to decide do I tell the
summer_of_giles story in the Hyperion Son universe or the Key to Destruction one (I could probably even use the Vegas one I just found but the humor in that is a tad mean, not that the sequel needs to be). Guess I'm going to have to roll dice if no one has anything they're dying to see me tackle. I did turn in my snippets for wipbigbang and maybe, just maybe I'll get some art. WHo knows. If not, that's cool too.Got home to learn my cousin fell in Italy and broke her arm but is refusing to go to a doctor there. I'm like are ALL my relatives idiots? Mom said yes. I'm just shaking my head.
Went to take a bath and read and I always put on Sirius's classical station when I do only to have it playing Mozart's requiem, the piece of music I requested for my funeral back when I had a will (it died in Oct of 2005 with everything else on that old Dell and I've never redone it)
