Thanks again

[cornerofmadness]

Thank you all for all the love and support. I appreciate it and I'm fine.

I did stay up in Jackson most the day at the library and at the Spot on Main, the coffee house. I have to say it, as cliched as it is, I really write well there.

I finally got all those damn finals graded and posted. At 10 pm while talking to ELD.




Honestly yesterday was SO MUCH easier than sunday-wednesday. When I woke up and shut the bedroom door so he couldn't hide, he sat for an hour under my desk and then I made him sit with me on the couch for the last hour. He was burning up and even his nose was yellow now. He was ready to go and I knew it.

That made it okay, you know? I barely cried until I got to Beth's and she asked how I was. I drove us there and back again because of how bad the dirt roads are to the clinic. My vet does it this way. She puts them on a special blanket that goes with them to the crematorium and injects them with a sedative so they use go to sleep. You can be in the room with them as long as you need to be.

So he went to sleep in my arms and after a while I put him on the table and got Angie (the vet). She doesn't allow you in for the last injection (and I get that because sometimes they seize and that would be horrible). So the last thing he knew was me holding him.

I'll get him back in a 'simple oak box' read cheapest fucking thing I could buy. They had one with a cat on it for another 100. Um, you know what you could have given me him in cardboard and I could have bought him something gorgeous from a local artisan for half your asking price which is probably what I'll end up doing or carving on the box I do get myself. Dad has all the tools and stencils.

Beth and I went to the local coffee shop for lunch and companionship but I was pretty okay at this point because I knew just how ill he was and that this was a kindness

Comments

[mdlbear]

It's never easy for us; the best we can do is make it easy for them. All my sympathy.

[sylvanwitch]

I'm so glad the last moments you had with him were peaceful for you both and that you were able to come to peace with the situation, too. You did the right thing, and I know you know that, but it's also still sad and difficult. Be kind to yourself for a little while, okay? *hugs*

[cornerofmadness]

You are so right. thank you

[cornerofmadness]

thanks so much. I'll try the kind thing once all the grading is done (though I'm happy to have it as it keeps my mind off things)

[aaronlisa]

It's never easy but I am glad you got to be there with him. (hugs)

[cornerofmadness]

It is not. Thank you

[suzume]

I'm sure Kanda appreciated every last thing you did for him...!

[cornerofmadness]

thank you very much. He did have a pretty good life here

[suzume]

You're welcome.

...But even as one of the two instigators of the 'cats are evil' tag, he surely was a dear.

[cornerofmadness]

yes he, Iktomi and Soul are responsible for that tag

[suzume]

Oh, so it was 3 cats, huh?

[cornerofmadness]

four if we count Roy.

[suzume]

Ah, that's true!