I hate this

[cornerofmadness]

I was just congratulating myself for doing so well lately with my anxiety and depression and then bang about five this morning it came roaring back, first one of my anxiety dreams of forgetting stuff on a plane and having to run back for it and the jetway being gone when I try to get off the plane and I'm locked in (a lot of my anxiety dreams have to do with me getting locked in somewhere). Woke up with actual chest pains and nausea to burn. Sigh. A lot of it has to do with a name from the past coming back to haunt me and just some of the stupid mistakes I made back then coming with it. It's not like I can change any of the things that happened even if I wanted to (which well, yeah I do) And then it was coupled with the debt thing again to the point I just wanted to call in sick today even though I know going to work would help (I'm going).

On the plus side all the anxious grinding actually smoothed off the sharpe jagged edge of my exposed filling.

Speaking of loans, I had a bit of providence on that. On the very last day to submit the forms I got through to a live person (after 6 weeks) and lo and behold the problem I was having was I tried to follow directions and update my address. I got them to remove two loans that weren't supposed to be there (including the one I'm being sued for) and they changed my address. I spelled it for them including the call signs for the commonly mistaken letters like B-ravo and D-elta....they still spelled it wrong I found out later. I was cautioned to IGNORE the prompts to print because that would freeze the program up and then I couldn't finish it online...WTF? Why would they have prompts that screw up the program? I just nod my head and ignore the prompts. I get kicked out three times because it decided I don't have cookies enabled (I do) but FINALLY I got it all taken care of. I have 30 years to pay it back...that's almost as long as I've been alive...I'll be nearly 70. Oh. GOd.

Got my Wolverine/Rogue charity story started...