Dreams

[cornerofmadness]

It's the Equinozio di Autunno, Mabon, the Autumnal equinox in other words, the start of my favorite season, Autumn. I love the colors and the coolness of the air. The three years in Florida was marked with depression at this time of year because there isn't much of a fall, things just browned up a little. I miss fall in New England. It's a tad far for me to drive there from here.

I started the day well not so hot. I woke up an hour and a half before the alarm. It's like 4 hours isn't enough sleep go back to bed. I don't like doing that because I'll have strange dreams (I always do when this happens) and I'll wake up straight from a dream which makes me groggy all day (sure enough...)

The first dream started with me in my car going down a country road to work. I worked in a store of some sort but a carnival I didn't know about had come to town. There was a little bit of a panic with kids because a couple of ponies had broken free, you know the kind you put your toddler on and snap a picture. I just leaned out the car window and caught the bridle of a blue pony (painted up to be a 'fairy princess' pony) and no one even thanked me for getting her under control.

I went to park and by the time I got inside my store was totally coopted by the carnival crap which made working impossible and the electrical wiring was a fire hazard. then the dream got really weird. My uncle was there. He died of cancer several years ago. He was a nasty man when alive and I didn't much like him and he was even nastier as he could sick. Well he was there in the dream, sick and talking to all the carnie people for 'cures' and I was trying to tell him I knew what was wrong with him and how to cure him. He didn't care because what do women know? (very true 'tude for him) Then his wife (my mom's sister, who died last year of alcoholism) told everyone his symptoms because she was trying to get help for him. He just grabbed her screamed at her to shut up and that he was surprised she stopped killing herself long enough to learn what was wrong with him and threw her down. I slammed him to the ground and just let him have it, about how he was such a horrible hateful person who deserved to die and he looked at me stunned then started to cry and said 'I wish you could have known me when I was good.' and I replied, 'So do I.' and walked off.

Then the dream morphed into something totally different. I was in another country where I was afraid of getting separated from my family because I didn't speak the language. Mom was there, with another aunt and her daughter and my other cousin (coincidentally the daughter of the people in the first dream), and I was there with friends too but i couldn't tell you who they were. The faces were totally unfamiliar but I knew they were friends. Everyone was going crazy in the town because a 'god' had been reborn and they were arguing was it Jesus or Buddha...

And my group was there at the scene of the birth, it was in a dump inside a ratty, disgusting shower dribbling brown water. Blood and afterbirth were clinging to the porcelain. The smell was horrendous and unmistakable. Mother and child were gone and the weirdest part were all these little pewter symbols dangling from a stick, a cross, a buddha, the goddess, representations from all teh major religions were there in those things you can get from Neopagan and/or religious stores for 15$ a throw. You could feel the power of the place

We started to run because again, everyone was in a panic. We got into our cars and drove but somehow my cousin by marriage got left behind and my friends had taken us to this apartment complex which was supposed to be an important person's home but when we opened the door the place was tiny and unoccupied and had an adjoining apartment which was the same except it had an oversized dresser drawers against a wall that seemed too thick compared to the others. One of my friends started ripping into dresser tearing out empty drawers then tipped it to reveal an ancient looking fireplace that she also pulled free from the wall and there was an altar of some sort with so much power it was overwhelming. There was figurines of gold and glass including something gargoyle like. I touched it and said 'this is where it all started' and then the damn alarm went off.

I think I might need professional help...