Today was a lot

[cornerofmadness]

My one class begged me to move the test from today to monday. I did.

The other class should have begged me. Holy shit. I do not what to say. Based on their spelling I would swear they're fifth graders. They aren't borderline illiterate. We're over the border. I do know that when I took this job they asked me could I teach illiterate students and those ones were head and shoulders over this. They literally frighten me to let them loose in a hospital.

I saw my doctor. I love her. So. Much. She listens to me. Anything I want I get. She thinks my cardiologist needs to be doing more than writing pills but agreed with me that the echo looked good (i fucking forgot to bring my lab reports with me). She is as worried as me because I've gained 20 pounds in 9 months. This is in spite of me actively cutting down on calories and exercising more. I'm worried. I'm concerned. Why in the last nine months is my blood pressure skyrocketing along with my weight? She thinks the insulin I think it's that plus the stress. I have no other explanations but it has made me very sad.

The doc said 'the nurse said you're having knee pain which on....oh never mind.' Yeah because the right one was such a balloon of swelling you could see the difference thru my jeans.

Speaking of sad I hope to hell my poker face was working today. One of my students, a nice young person I've had two semesters now. They wanted my advice because they have two pick between two surgeries...for pancreatic cancer. They're worried about falling behind in their course work and the big life changes they have planned for the summer and as I'm helping them navigate medical holds on the classes thinking you'll be lucky to be alive on graduation day next year. It has a terrible survival rate and I know this. I couldn't help them other than to arrange for them to talk to my work friend DM who is a 5 year pancreatic cancer survivor(the one I mentioned on monday whose cancer is back and spreading)

I don't like this day much.

And during the test I was rereading a chapter trying to find the steam for the one I'm writing and whining about. And realized I had FORGOTTEN a major detail. It would make things much more interesting even without me changing anything. Ezio is swearing Phoenix didn't have a lover but I forgot the coroner found out she's pregnant. It's gonna hit Ezio hard.


What I Just Finished Reading:

Stay for a Spell - cozy fantasy, loved this

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek - ouch


What I am Currently Reading:

Deadly Fates

What Feasts in the Night

Keeper of Lonely spirits (or something like that)

Hazelthorn - ya horror, really good so far


What I Plan to Read Next: Hooked on Murder - lousy so far


The Death Card (an arc I just got in the mail)

Comments

[dr_zook]

I'm really sorry to hear about your student and your work friend. No wonder you're devastated. Hopefully you and your doctor can figure out how to improve things!

[lucy_roman]

You really have a lot to cope with at the moment. I will be thinking about you.

[barbaratp]

Eu tenho medo de alguns novos profissionais por causa disso, a maioria vive de chatgpt, não sabe ler muito menos escrever. Juro outro dia tivemos uma avaliação, a resposta estava todinha num PDF que a professora/instrutora passou, a menina ao invés de copiar a resposta de lá pegou o chat e tava escrevendo linhas quilométricas igual uma burra. Meus deuses eu quase morri com isso.

Espero que sua aluna e colega fiquem bem, votos de melhoras para elas. Câncer é algo horrível.