It's amazing what sends you into a tailspin

[cornerofmadness]

frankly it started out innocently enough, a manga to read to review. This particular manga is based on a series of YA vampire novels. This review coincided with the release of the latest Twilight book. It was like a double whammy. The manga/YA thing is literally the biggest cliche fest I have ever witnessed. In fact the circlet publishers just ran a list of things they never want to see in their vampire stories and this had everyone plus a few others. The less said about that utter crap series that somehow not only got published but made it on the bestseller list the better.

It was a combo that has left me in a tail spin. I've hardly finished anything since. There is a deep feeling of 'why bother.' Every writers group i'm in has better writing than this and produces nothing. I think it hit me hard since the one novel I've been working at for 12 years now is in this genre. I've sold short stories from this universe. The novel itself has been excerpted. One agent told me he loved it, that it was better than anything he had seen on the shelves but he had moved into another genre and asked me to send him something in that (it was a genre I don't write) and another agent liked it well enough but wanted it updated.

Who knew 1995 was too old to be interesting?

As wildrider said not too long ago, more or less, 'I don't want to write anything every again. She pulled out of it and i know i will too. But occasionally it's very hard, especially when you see utter garbage making it. It doesn't help when your source of refuge is somewhat gone. Three writers groups, and two are down to a trickle as summer takes over demands on time. That'll change but wow, could have needed them now. Original fiction filter, quieter than church.

sometimes you get to a point where you sit back and think, why am I bothering?

Comments

[lyrangalia]

Maybe it's just because I haven't actively tried to sell a novel, but when I see crappy published novels, I feel a greater urge to write.

*hug* I hope you pull out of it soon, but I'm here to rant with. I know, I should be on the O-fic filter but, knowing my thoughts on constructive criticism, I just don't think I could give you the sort of in-depth criticism I think you deserve.

*hugs again*

[aaronlisa.livejournal.com]

((hugs))

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of checking out the Twilight books, hm...too bad.

[lyrangalia]

Save yourself some brain cells and read this instead: http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html

It's all the taste, none of the calories, or in this case, all the crack, none of the wasted brain cells.

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Oh. Wow. That's all I have to say.

No wait...he sparkles?

[hikari-katsuya.livejournal.com]

I read Twilight last year, when our librarian decided to get the first three books for our library (better than all the dusty old tomes about people and events nobody remembers or cares about, at least). The first one was ok, nothing really special, but interesting enough to pass the time in Religion class when the Catholic faith starts to get really boring. I read the second one, was iffy about even touching the third one, but I figured 'why not, it's the last copy of only one in the library and no one's around'. I couldn't stand it, and the only reason I finished it was because stopping a book halfway is just somehting I can't seem to do. I've seen the link Lyrangalia gave us (HILARIOUS, click it now), and I'm repulsed by the mere mention of the series now.

I've fleetingly thought about novel writing, especially now knowing of NaNoWriMo; my friends are really pushing me to write out a novel storyline I came up with this year (in Religion class again, no less, with character doodles all over my notebook). It would be a historical fiction-turns-fantasy, something I've never really looked for or seen done before, and I always thought it'd be worth it to try, at least, if only for the fun.

Seeing books like the Twilight series, and manga such as you've mentioned here, do so "well" with all the hype surrounding it just makes me sick because it overshadows the greater works (such as yours and probably many many people on LJ and elsewhere) that ARE out there not getting any to very little attention at all. It makes me angry because the people who try their damndest and hardest get kicked to the side because of preteen/teenage fangirling (which means the more they're given, the more they'll want and it keeps going in it's viscious circle), obsessive subculture, and a skewed sense/influence of what's good for today's world and generation.

If you've worked on that novel for 12 years, I wouldn't give it up, if it were me. Corny as it sounds, you DID make it that far, and just stopping wouldn't solve anything any more than trying, having the possibility of failure but going ahead, and accepting the outcome, whether it's good or bad. You never really DO know if something will work or not unless you try it and get a concrete outcome, but I've always been taught that accepting a failure (for lack of better word) after the try is better than simply accepting the try as a failure.

Ah, I ramble, you dont have to take me seriously if I'm just making things weirder.

_{THIS WAS REALLY LONG; I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS INTROSPECTIVE AT 3:30 AM D:}

[marlex.livejournal.com]

Don't let it get you down. Look at all the crappy movies out there that get made. Good ones slip through too.

I remember reading a book series back in my early teens and after finishing it, thought to myself, I could write better that that. It was pretty bad. Formulaic fantasy driven so much by prophecy that there was never any tension that the good guys would win.

Several years later, I found Diane Duane's Young Wizards series (see her journal dduane ). I read an interview she gave, and she stated that she first started writing fiction for publication after reading the very same fantasy series I had and thought to herself that she could do better.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. (and thanks for Duane's journal. I like her writing)

I figure self doubt is just part of the process and not necessarily a bad thing (points at the insanity that has become Anne Rice)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah he sparkles (I added that bit to my review of the above mentioned Manga...at least the cliche fest doesn't sparkle)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

utter crap

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

you actually make a lot of sense for 3 AM. Don't worry I won't actually give up. Sometimes it just boggles the mind the crap that gets out there.

I do have a problem. it's called discipline. I like to write. I don't like to revise and do the other stuff required to sell. I need to push myself harder in those areas. I keep saying i will and I haven't and I really must.

I have read lyra's great rant about Twilight.

do try nano. I've 'won' the last severalyears and even if you don't finish it's fun

[hikari-katsuya.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's good, then! Yeah, I guess it's just that initial 'WTF D:' feeling that makes everything a little more gloomy.

I like to write and revise, but I can't seem to let myself do them both at separate times; I always like to do it as I go along. I know I will have to drop that habit entirely if I want to make it through NaNo, and I know I can, but my inner-editor (AKA all the muses) is going to get very angry with me. >:3

I actually was going to read the 4th book once we got back to school, simply for the fact that I really wanted to know how all the tomfuckery ended so I could laugh at how horribly it was probably done. I didn't quite realize (until I read the great rant) just how right I was about it being horrible. I'm not touching it now, and all my friends who were so hyped up and went to the midnight sale I look at at now and think of how disappointed they all are. :D

Signed up already :) November is one of the most exciting months of the year (school-wise) when the entire building is getting ready for December/Christmas decorating, we have a week-long 'Spirit-Fest' to prep for the Homecoming football game on Thanksgiving against our archrival, the Poetry Reading is hosted by our Literary/Art magazine I write and draw for; there's so much going on that everybody's excited all the time, and that really helps get the words flowng for me.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh tell me about it. You'd know a man came up with nano even if you didn't know his name. NO woman would put it in November between school and the holidays and prepping for the december holidays. I haven't signed up yet but i will.

i never made it more than a few chapters before turnign it back to the library, book one that was

oh and there is a young writer's forum that might interest you once nano gets going

[hikari-katsuya.livejournal.com]

I can totally agree with you on that one. Sure it's a nice time of the year and everything, but there's so much to do anyway that maybe July or August would have been better. But then again, nobody really wants to do anything during those months, and I guess it is more fun when you know that people all over the world are in just a rush as you are as you try and get it done. Besides, it makes for nice mini-Christmas presents when we can post our revised and completed chapters of things here on LJ for everyone to enjoy in December. :)

Twilight was actually my first book and experience with the vampire genre, so I gave it a go thinking that maybe it was just the genre I didn't like. As I got farther in and finished, I realized that I loved the vampire genre, and hated Twilight. It also makes me a little mad now because there are so many people who hate the Twilight series and put it down that the general view of vampire/fantasy genres and literature are gaining a bad reputation as well. I've heard a lot of flack from people that don't like Twilight and right away assume that anything writen about vampires and the like is bad, simply because they've only been exposed to one thing that actually IS bad and then they don't give others a try.

Since it is a fantasy, (should I ever slow down the reading/writing of FMA fic HAHA NO), I'd love to include a vampire character in that novel idea I had in mind. (And I will, got her all planned out) I actually have all kinds of characters and plot points and everything written out, and it would be nice to break the stereotype of angsty-fanged-introvert-etc with the woman I have in mind. There can be a little angst here and there, (I think it just comes and goes without saying), but make a character like that have a personality, let them have a little fun with it!

Really? Oooooh, I'll have to check that out! I've already found the NaNo forums to be really nice; and one can always use a few more muses. :3

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

What you have to remind yourself is that good writing also gets published. Although, granted, it doesn't always seem that way.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

true. Thanks I also have to learn to DO the things I need to in order to market it. Luckily i FOUND part of the missing marketing stuff on an old floppy which will help since the newest agent i researched wants an outline

[kashicat.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to see you don't plan to give up, despite the prognosis and the gloomy thoughts (and lack of discipline).

I hope you can always remind yourself that we write, first of all, because we want to entertain ourselves. I wrote fantasy novels for my own entertainment for years and years and years before it ever occurred to me, "Hm, I wonder if I could ever publish something...?"

Then you also write for your friends. We like your writing. :-)

If absolute worst came to worst, we could all just go ahead and publish our stuff on Lulu.com, and buy each other's books. But don't give up on regular publishing yet.

I don't know if you'd be interested in a sort of "backup" group, but a discussion forum I post on has an artists' group who encourages and critiques each other. It's largely because of them that I've gotten off my duff in the past year and gotten my two novels and non-fiction book ready for submission to agents. We set each other deadlines, and encourage each other to try new things, or have long discussions if someone comes in saying, "I just heard this technique/theory/advice, what do you think about it?" It isn't just writers, but painters, musicians, collage artists, fabric artists, all sorts.

Anyway, if you ever need something like that, let me know; we'd love to help.

But in the meantime -- take heart. Keep bothering. Because you love your stories, and so do your friends.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks for the offer of the group. could be interesting. Right now with three other writers' groups I wouldn't have time to read anything and then I'd feel bad.

Yeah I'm holding off on the selfpublishing until I'm like really old and still haven't gotten it there.

though I really DO need prodded to get off my butt to get the synopsis and outline and revisions done. Really.

and thanks

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

the only caution i give on the forums, it's easy to lose time there. real easy (also some of them are so dumb and can't string words together even in chatspeak but on the other hand they make you feel like a real good writer in comparison)

and not only are the Christian holidays coming up in Nov/Dec but major ones in practically every major religion. It's like could you PICK a worse time?

I love the vampire genre but i'm the first to admit it's full of crap. it takes a while to find something good. I like Charlaine Harris Sooky Stackhouse stories

[hikari-katsuya.livejournal.com]

Ah. I see. With preparing for school and then getting through the first few weeks, adjusting to new teachers (and having some old ones again) and figuring out just how the hell they work (I swear, every teacher I've ever had is never satisfied with one same working process, everybody had to have their own nitpicky way and it's nuts because that's just another thing to worry about that I don't want/need), I don't think forum-flocking would be a very good idea. I'll have to really get through the first month or so before I start having a social life again. And it doesn't help that in Junior year they decide to throw you and all your crap into the pick-a-college-pile-of-!@$! and let you drown in it. And I can always do with an ego boost, no matter how small. :D

I've always found it weird, awesome, and really really dumb that nearly every major religion has their biggest holiday(s) during that time. Wierd because that's a lot of coincidences (or not, what do we know), awesome because it IS fun, but really really dumb because then that's really the only major celebratory time of the year where all kinds of things are going on at once. Spread it out a little, give the rest of the year a share.

Then again, if you really want year-round action you can always go to Japan. Not a day goes by that there's not a matsuri (festival) SOMEWHERE, and stuff happens fast. Christmas decorations start coming down on the 25th and they start getting ready for New Year's already. (Not without reason, though, New Year's is their biggest holiday)

I love it too, and pretty much any semblance of a fantasy genre. (I just can't read regular present-time modern novels because I need wacky excitement to enjoy any story, really) And I will agree, there is a lot of junk, and it baffles me because it's unexplainable how there CAN be so much crap if it's supposed to be such a highly-esteemed subject or something. I don't get the world. D:

Like I said, I've never actually read the v-genre, but I'll have to check those out maybe, see if I can find something to redeem the genre for myself. XD

I've always liked Shirley Rousseau Murphy's Joe Grey Mystery series; while not an actual fantasy series, it does combine a pair of talking cats (plus only a select few in the entire series, and only their owners actually know), murders and crimes, California, and really nice plots, twists and turns for nice fat little books to take up room on the shelf. They were my first foray into the more grown-up of books about 5 years ago. ;)

[wildrider.livejournal.com]

Yeah, "Twilight" had a lot to do with my funk. How is it that this crap is making it and we can't?

I can't even get an agent to like mine THAT much!

{{hugs}}

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Uggggh.

*sends good beer, Roy Mustang with massage oil and bazookas for blowing up bad books written by worse authors*

[kashicat.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, we don't critique each other's writing/paint (though we do some of that) so much as we DO help people get off their duff. Or their butt, as needed.

So. Can I prod you right now? Suggesting that you make the revisions third on your list, which would be best to do first, the synopsis or the outline? My idea would be the synopsis first (although an outline might help create the synopsis more easily). Whichever of those two should come first -- how about setting a deadline to get that one thing done?

Say...August 31, if that wouldn't add too much load to your preparations for the new school year?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that sounds good

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

same here. And I'm not surprised to hear it.

thanks