Fic - Regret in the Rain
Dec. 22nd, 2008 03:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessRegret in the Rain
Author –![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cornerofmadness
Disclaimer – not mine. All rights belong to Mr. Whedon
Pairing – Faith/Connor
Rating – R for Faith’s potty mouth
Time Line – AU, post Not Fade Away (no L.A. falling into Hell)
Summary – Faith has many regrets
Author’s Notes – Writtencatvampcrazines for the holidays. Happy Holidays. She wanted AtS- Connor/Faith Setting/Prompt: Regret in the rain, currently unbeta'ed
XXX
Autumn rain sluiced down over Faith, cold, damp and utterly inadequate to wash away her regrets. She had fucked up again. She didn’t know why it surprised her. She was made for fucking up. The way B still looked at her said she would always be a worthless failure, not matter how many amens she tried to make.
That was the reason she left the Slayers’ new compound and went to L.A. to work with Angel. At least he believed in her. Not any more, she thought bitterly, not if he learned of this newest mistake. It was why she was standing out in the rain when she could have been in a nice warm bed. Dawn should have splashed roses and golds over the sky by now but the storm had painted it in monotone, a color fitting her mood.
She wanted to pretend there were still things to hunt. Not everything burst into flames at the touch of the sun but the truth was she just didn’t want to go home. Her mistake waited for her there. The real problem was, she couldn’t run from her sins forever. Eventually, she’d have to face what she’d done, face Angel and his disappointment, that was the hardest part.
“Faith.”
Her name was nearly lost in the sounds of the city in a downpour. She wondered if she didn’t have Slayer senses, would she have heard it at all. Turning, she saw a boy, thin enough to fit between rain drops and stay dry. He wasn’t her usual type, then again she was so slutty sometimes, did she even have a type? “How did you find me, Connor?”
“Tracked you.” He canted his gaze skywards. “Hard to do in all this.”
“Why?” She turned away from him. It was hard to look in those big blue eyes. They always had too much emotion in them.
“You looked upset then you ran off.” Connor shrugged. “I figured I’d done something wrong and should apologize for it.”
Whipping around, Faith stared at him like he was insane. Apologize to her? A man noticing a woman was upset? Did that actually happen? Most men shot their load and went to sleep or slipped out during the night while she was still sleeping. They didn’t hunt her down to make sure she was all right. Scanning their surroundings, she grabbed his hand and hauled him down to a nearby pub that had a long awning spanning its many windows. If they were going to talk, they should at least get out of the downpour. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Connor. I did.”
His nose wrinkled as he sluiced water off his fine hair. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re Angel’s son,” she said then stepped back, startled by the sudden fierce look in his eye. Great, she had somehow probably just started a fight. No problem, she’d finish it, too.
“So? Why does everyone treat me different because of him?” he grumbled. “Did he tell you to stay away from me?”
“No, but he will and he’d be right.” Faith watched the furious look worsen. “Any good father would. Come on, kid. You have to know about me, know I killed someone, tortured Wes, did a lot of bad things. I was supposed to be in jail for twenty-five to life.”
“We all have done bad things. Dad killed plenty…I have. You have no idea the things I did because I listened to Cordy and Jasmine.” Connor’s gaze flicked away but not fast enough to hide his pain. “Isn’t second chances what our team is about?”
“Usually for everyone but me,” Faith said then shrugged. “Except your dad. He was about the only one to believe in me. I don’t know why.”
“That’s why you don’t want him mad at you.” Connor’s smile was faint but there. “I can understand that. He might not be mad, you know.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have risked it. I didn’t mean to screw up the one good relationship I’ve ever had.”
Connor touched her arm gingerly. “Do you regret being with me?”
“Yes and no,” she admitted after a moment’s thought. “But only if it fucks up how Angel sees me.”
“Well, novel idea, especially coming from me.” He snorted. “I blame the magical mind warping I’ve had. We could talk to Dad. That is, if this is going to be more than just tonight.”
Faith grinned. “Talking, that is a novel idea.”
He smiled back. “Come on, let’s get in out of this rain.”
Faith followed him home. Home, talking things out, wanting more than a one night stand, things were finally looking almost normal for her. Faith liked how that felt.
Author –
cornerofmadnessDisclaimer – not mine. All rights belong to Mr. Whedon
Pairing – Faith/Connor
Rating – R for Faith’s potty mouth
Time Line – AU, post Not Fade Away (no L.A. falling into Hell)
Summary – Faith has many regrets
Author’s Notes – Written
catvampcrazines for the holidays. Happy Holidays. She wanted AtS- Connor/Faith Setting/Prompt: Regret in the rain, currently unbeta'ed XXX
Autumn rain sluiced down over Faith, cold, damp and utterly inadequate to wash away her regrets. She had fucked up again. She didn’t know why it surprised her. She was made for fucking up. The way B still looked at her said she would always be a worthless failure, not matter how many amens she tried to make.
That was the reason she left the Slayers’ new compound and went to L.A. to work with Angel. At least he believed in her. Not any more, she thought bitterly, not if he learned of this newest mistake. It was why she was standing out in the rain when she could have been in a nice warm bed. Dawn should have splashed roses and golds over the sky by now but the storm had painted it in monotone, a color fitting her mood.
She wanted to pretend there were still things to hunt. Not everything burst into flames at the touch of the sun but the truth was she just didn’t want to go home. Her mistake waited for her there. The real problem was, she couldn’t run from her sins forever. Eventually, she’d have to face what she’d done, face Angel and his disappointment, that was the hardest part.
“Faith.”
Her name was nearly lost in the sounds of the city in a downpour. She wondered if she didn’t have Slayer senses, would she have heard it at all. Turning, she saw a boy, thin enough to fit between rain drops and stay dry. He wasn’t her usual type, then again she was so slutty sometimes, did she even have a type? “How did you find me, Connor?”
“Tracked you.” He canted his gaze skywards. “Hard to do in all this.”
“Why?” She turned away from him. It was hard to look in those big blue eyes. They always had too much emotion in them.
“You looked upset then you ran off.” Connor shrugged. “I figured I’d done something wrong and should apologize for it.”
Whipping around, Faith stared at him like he was insane. Apologize to her? A man noticing a woman was upset? Did that actually happen? Most men shot their load and went to sleep or slipped out during the night while she was still sleeping. They didn’t hunt her down to make sure she was all right. Scanning their surroundings, she grabbed his hand and hauled him down to a nearby pub that had a long awning spanning its many windows. If they were going to talk, they should at least get out of the downpour. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Connor. I did.”
His nose wrinkled as he sluiced water off his fine hair. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re Angel’s son,” she said then stepped back, startled by the sudden fierce look in his eye. Great, she had somehow probably just started a fight. No problem, she’d finish it, too.
“So? Why does everyone treat me different because of him?” he grumbled. “Did he tell you to stay away from me?”
“No, but he will and he’d be right.” Faith watched the furious look worsen. “Any good father would. Come on, kid. You have to know about me, know I killed someone, tortured Wes, did a lot of bad things. I was supposed to be in jail for twenty-five to life.”
“We all have done bad things. Dad killed plenty…I have. You have no idea the things I did because I listened to Cordy and Jasmine.” Connor’s gaze flicked away but not fast enough to hide his pain. “Isn’t second chances what our team is about?”
“Usually for everyone but me,” Faith said then shrugged. “Except your dad. He was about the only one to believe in me. I don’t know why.”
“That’s why you don’t want him mad at you.” Connor’s smile was faint but there. “I can understand that. He might not be mad, you know.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have risked it. I didn’t mean to screw up the one good relationship I’ve ever had.”
Connor touched her arm gingerly. “Do you regret being with me?”
“Yes and no,” she admitted after a moment’s thought. “But only if it fucks up how Angel sees me.”
“Well, novel idea, especially coming from me.” He snorted. “I blame the magical mind warping I’ve had. We could talk to Dad. That is, if this is going to be more than just tonight.”
Faith grinned. “Talking, that is a novel idea.”
He smiled back. “Come on, let’s get in out of this rain.”
Faith followed him home. Home, talking things out, wanting more than a one night stand, things were finally looking almost normal for her. Faith liked how that felt.
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no subject
Date: 2008-12-22 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 01:16 am (UTC)Love this, though - Faith's thoughts about the coming dawn and its colors was really lovely.
also, typos: not matter how many amens she tried to make. NO matter how many AMENDS she tried to make.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 03:48 am (UTC)thanks
no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 07:10 am (UTC)and, FWIW, I thought the "amens" was a literary device, alluding to prayers....[kicks self in pretentious ass.]
no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 02:24 pm (UTC)hahaha I like your explanation better but sadly it IS a typo