Fic - Could Have Been the Whiskey
Nov. 30th, 2009 05:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessCould Have Been the Whiskey
Author –![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cornerofmadness
Disclaimer – so not mine
Rating – NC-17
Pairing – Maes/Roy
Warning – m/m drunk sex
Summary – Two men alone in a bar, well it sounded like a good idea at the time.
Timeline/Spoilers- Spoilers for Roy’s parentage, other than that, nada
Word Count - 1,821
Author’s Note –Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
springkink for the Prompt- FMA (Roy/Maes) - pre-war drunk sex. Thanks to evil_little_dog for the beta and title help.
* * *
"Look what the cat dragged in.” Maes laughed as Roy pushed his way into the Dancing Donkey, one of the new bars his adoptive mother had in Central. “Finally got tired of all your musty books up there in the north?” Maes look Roy’s suitcase as their sisters peeled away from the bar to come greet him.
“I never tired of books.” Roy slapped Maes’ arm. With sisters still clinging to him, cooing and teasing him about how pale he was, Roy struggled to reach the bar.
“And you never tired of that pretty little daughter of your teacher either,” Maes observed sagely.
“Oh, you know that’s true.” Molly, one of Roy’s sisters, laughed.
“Has our little brother lost his heart?” Penelope tapped his nose.
“I don’t dare,” Roy moaned. “Master Hawkeye promised to use his alchemy to remove body parts.”
“Aw, afraid it’ll become a crispy, little sausage?” Penelope ruffled his hair.
“ Big sausage and yes. He definitely meant it.” Roy pouted.
“Which is why I sent you to Hawkeye,” Christmas said, lounging against the doorframe. “He could keep a young buck like you in line.”
Roy turned his pout on his mother even though he knew it had no effect on the spy. “He’s quite mean sometimes, a taskmaster.”
“And are you learning?” Chris came over to hug her son.
“Lots.” Roy struggled and fussed like a cat being carried to the bath, trying to get out of the hug. “Not everything I want to know yet but maybe soon. Master says it’s too much power for teenaged boys.”
“Wise man.” Chris patted his back. “Have a seat, son. We’ll get you some dinner.”
Roy sat at the bar, Maes settling next to him as Chris ordered food brought.
“What have you been up to Maes?” Roy asked. “Up to your eyeballs in trouble like usual?”
“You know it.” Maes snickered. “Learning how to investigate better from the madam. I might go to the Academy in a year or two, learning to investigate for the military. It could be very interesting.”
“I’m sure it could be and Mom could use another contact there.”
Maes nodded. “And at least I’m not stuck in a smelly, dank lab.”
“The lab isn’t dank. Hot and dry,” Roy countered. “And I like it. So, where am I staying? You said you lived close by.”
Maes pointed to the ceiling. “I live above the bar.”
“Mmm, all the smells of smoke and stale beer.” Roy wrinkled his nose.
“Luscious bar girls, don’t forget them,” Maes chucked Roy’s shoulder.
“Like he has a chance.” Molly laughed.
“Ignore her.” Maes glared at his sister. “It’s a good apartment.”
“And he’s all on his own up there so it makes him feel all grown up.” Chris patted her Maes’ head. “Speaking of which, we’re about to close down for the night. You two will be at loose ends. I’d tell you to behave yourselves but I know that won’t happen.”
Her sons snorted at her and helped her and their sisters to shut down before returning to the remains of their dinners and all the alcohol available in the now quiet, empty bar.
* * *
“I am so drunk,” Roy said, practically going up the steps to the apartment on all fours.
“You’re also very silly,” Maes slurred, balancing himself against the hand rail and the wall as he walked. “I like this view.”
“Me on my hands and knees?” Roy looked over his shoulder.
Maes ran a hand through Roy’s hair, nearly unbalancing him. “You bet.”
“I’m not doing anything on the steps. We’ll fall down them and die and won’t that be a scene for our mother,” Roy snarled and Maes snickered slapping Roy’s ass. The alchemist moved faster. “Damn, forgot my case downstairs.”
Maes caught him before Roy could slither past. “You don’t need anything in it.” He bore Roy back toward the apartment door. Maes chivvied Roy inside and backed the alchemist against the tatty couch. Roy slipped, sprawling onto the cushions, legs splayed.
“Eager to get started I see.” Maes grinned.
“Don’t be an ass.” Roy flailed like a turtle on its back until he righted himself. “And quit knocking me down,” he huffed.
“Can’t promise that.” Maes chased Roy into the bedroom and tackled him on the bed. He pinned the smaller young man’s hands to the mattress above Roy’s head, kissing him hungrily. “Yum.” Maes purred against Roy’s lips, letting go of the alchemist’s hands. “You taste like beer and whiskey.”
“I’m mostly made of boilermakers at this point so no surprise.” Roy tugged at Maes’ shirt.
Maes stripped it off, nearly sending his glasses flying. Settling them back on his nose, Maes stretched up tall, letting Roy toy with the few chest hairs he had managed to grow since he had last seen his long time partner in crime, which sounded better to Maes’ ears than ‘foster brother.’ “You have on too many clothes,” he observed, undoing Roy’s belt.
Both of them clumsily found their feet and struggled out of their clothing. While up, Maes got the hand lotion out of the drawer where he had it well hidden lest his sisters spy it and torment him about blistering his palms. It was amusing how often they thought he was somewhere jerking off. He wondered if Roy ever even thought to do it or was he so lost in his studies, Roy forgot the basics of life? Seeing how hollow Roy’s stomach was, Maes bet on the latter. Setting the lotion on the night stand, Maes toppled Roy back onto the bed.
“You better not be too drunk to get hard,” Maes warned him.
“Me? You’re the lightweight,” Roy protested, his hand moving down to Maes’ cock, stroking it. “Then again you’re so goofy who can tell when you’re drunk?”
“Goofy?”
“Painfully goofy.” Roy nipped Maes’ chin.
“Why do I put up with you?” Maes moaned, his hands cupping Roy’s testicles.
“Because I’m so very good at what I do.”
Maes pinned Roy down. “Yes, you are.” He straddled Roy, sitting on the alchemist’s belly. Maes’ hands trailed down Roy’s torso.
Roy giggled. “Not like that. It’s ticklish.”
“You liked it last time,” Maes protested, his fingers working against Roy’s smooth, hairless flesh.
Roy laughed and bucked, spilling Maes over drunkenly. Maes clawed at Roy and the bedding but he had way too much alcohol in him and too much momentum. He went ass over tea kettle onto the floor with a startled yelp.
Roy peered over the edge. “You didn’t land on it, did you?” he asked worriedly.
“Am I shrieking in pain?” Maes tried to pull himself up using the bedspread but fell back onto his butt.
“I’m torn. Do I come down there and ravage you or sit up here and just laugh my ass off?” Roy smirked.
Maes managed to get up. “Drunken idiot.”
“I told you I was ticklish!” Roy said, shifting on the bed, stroking himself for Maes’ benefit. He most definitely wasn’t too drunk to get a hard on.
Maes rubbed his bruised hip. “Should I forgive you for trying to maim me?”
“It’s your own fault. Besides,” Roy pumped his hips. “You know you want this.”
“You are so nasty.” Maes said, pouncing on him.
“Isn’t that why you begged me to come home for a vacation?”
“Damn right.” Maes sucked on Roy’s larynx, his thumb circling one of Roy’s nipples. The alchemist’s burn-pocked hands deftly aroused Maes. Maes rubbed his hardening cock along Roy’s thigh as he gave Roy another deep kiss. He winced as Roy squeezed a little too tight.
“Sorry!” Roy leaned back against the pillows. “I’s so drunk.”
“It makes you nice and easy, then again you always are.” Maes tickled a finger under the head of Roy’s cock.
“I can also go to the bathroom and finish myself.” Roy pouted at him.
Maes snorted, reaching for the lotion before they both just passed out or something else inconvenient. He slathered up his shaft while Roy licked a trail across Maes’ belly. “You’d better lie back. If we try something adventurous, we’ll both be in the hospital.”
“I’ll be shocked if you can even find the goal. You’re swaying.” Roy giggled.
Maes ran his hands up Roy’s thighs, ignoring the slight. The muscles under his hands made a nice way to center himself. If he started poking around aimlessly like a virgin, Roy would never let him hear the end of it. He kissed Roy almost tenderly, pressing against the tight ring of Roy’s muscles. His lover spread his legs a little more, pushing up against Maes, all but spearing himself on Maes’ cock. Roy made a happy little sound against Maes’ lips.
Their hips moved together with only a few minor miscues thanks to their befuddled senses. Maes almost bent Roy’s cock by accident but a frantic bellow alerted him to the fact the appendage in question had gotten pinched. Maes spilled quickly, faster than he wanted to if he could make his brain hold onto a thought for long. Roy’s penis still stood rampant and Maes couldn’t let that pass. He sucked Roy into his mouth, his tongue laving Roy’s hard hot flesh. It didn’t take but a few hard licks to make Roy come noisily. Maes could only imagine what the neighbors across the street were thinking now.
They curled up together, mumbling something close to ‘I love you’ before they both passed out.
* * *
Maes kept his face against the cool, pitted surface of the bar. Roy had his face buried in the pillow of his arms, his hair dangerously close to being in his eggs. Penelope kept poking Maes with a finger but he ignored her entirely, too overwhelmed by his throbbing head to do anything.
“Eww, I think they’re dead,” Penelope said.
“They smell like it. Couldn’t you have showered?” Molly poked Roy.
“Judging by the empties in the trash, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re dead,” their mother said. “Sit up boys and eat.”
There was something in that statement that promised pain if they disobeyed. Maes sat up, trying not to look at the scrambled eggs. Roy sat up then slithered down until the only thing holding him up was the brass rail.
“Did you boys learn a lesson?” Chris asked, lighting up.
“That Roy leads me into trouble,” Maes said.
“Die.”
“Gladly.”
“There is no part of me that doesn’t hurt,” Roy moaned, hitching himself up a bit only to slide back down.
Chris snorted, smoke curling out of her nose. Her eyes flicked to the barstool Roy sat on. “I wonder why.” She headed for the back office with a wave of her hand. “Eat up, boys.”
Amid the knowing chuckles of their sisters, Roy and Maes exchanged glances, wondering if there was anything their mother didn’t know.
Author –
cornerofmadnessDisclaimer – so not mine
Rating – NC-17
Pairing – Maes/Roy
Warning – m/m drunk sex
Summary – Two men alone in a bar, well it sounded like a good idea at the time.
Timeline/Spoilers- Spoilers for Roy’s parentage, other than that, nada
Word Count - 1,821
Author’s Note –Written for
springkink for the Prompt- FMA (Roy/Maes) - pre-war drunk sex. Thanks to evil_little_dog for the beta and title help.* * *
"Look what the cat dragged in.” Maes laughed as Roy pushed his way into the Dancing Donkey, one of the new bars his adoptive mother had in Central. “Finally got tired of all your musty books up there in the north?” Maes look Roy’s suitcase as their sisters peeled away from the bar to come greet him.
“I never tired of books.” Roy slapped Maes’ arm. With sisters still clinging to him, cooing and teasing him about how pale he was, Roy struggled to reach the bar.
“And you never tired of that pretty little daughter of your teacher either,” Maes observed sagely.
“Oh, you know that’s true.” Molly, one of Roy’s sisters, laughed.
“Has our little brother lost his heart?” Penelope tapped his nose.
“I don’t dare,” Roy moaned. “Master Hawkeye promised to use his alchemy to remove body parts.”
“Aw, afraid it’ll become a crispy, little sausage?” Penelope ruffled his hair.
“ Big sausage and yes. He definitely meant it.” Roy pouted.
“Which is why I sent you to Hawkeye,” Christmas said, lounging against the doorframe. “He could keep a young buck like you in line.”
Roy turned his pout on his mother even though he knew it had no effect on the spy. “He’s quite mean sometimes, a taskmaster.”
“And are you learning?” Chris came over to hug her son.
“Lots.” Roy struggled and fussed like a cat being carried to the bath, trying to get out of the hug. “Not everything I want to know yet but maybe soon. Master says it’s too much power for teenaged boys.”
“Wise man.” Chris patted his back. “Have a seat, son. We’ll get you some dinner.”
Roy sat at the bar, Maes settling next to him as Chris ordered food brought.
“What have you been up to Maes?” Roy asked. “Up to your eyeballs in trouble like usual?”
“You know it.” Maes snickered. “Learning how to investigate better from the madam. I might go to the Academy in a year or two, learning to investigate for the military. It could be very interesting.”
“I’m sure it could be and Mom could use another contact there.”
Maes nodded. “And at least I’m not stuck in a smelly, dank lab.”
“The lab isn’t dank. Hot and dry,” Roy countered. “And I like it. So, where am I staying? You said you lived close by.”
Maes pointed to the ceiling. “I live above the bar.”
“Mmm, all the smells of smoke and stale beer.” Roy wrinkled his nose.
“Luscious bar girls, don’t forget them,” Maes chucked Roy’s shoulder.
“Like he has a chance.” Molly laughed.
“Ignore her.” Maes glared at his sister. “It’s a good apartment.”
“And he’s all on his own up there so it makes him feel all grown up.” Chris patted her Maes’ head. “Speaking of which, we’re about to close down for the night. You two will be at loose ends. I’d tell you to behave yourselves but I know that won’t happen.”
Her sons snorted at her and helped her and their sisters to shut down before returning to the remains of their dinners and all the alcohol available in the now quiet, empty bar.
* * *
“I am so drunk,” Roy said, practically going up the steps to the apartment on all fours.
“You’re also very silly,” Maes slurred, balancing himself against the hand rail and the wall as he walked. “I like this view.”
“Me on my hands and knees?” Roy looked over his shoulder.
Maes ran a hand through Roy’s hair, nearly unbalancing him. “You bet.”
“I’m not doing anything on the steps. We’ll fall down them and die and won’t that be a scene for our mother,” Roy snarled and Maes snickered slapping Roy’s ass. The alchemist moved faster. “Damn, forgot my case downstairs.”
Maes caught him before Roy could slither past. “You don’t need anything in it.” He bore Roy back toward the apartment door. Maes chivvied Roy inside and backed the alchemist against the tatty couch. Roy slipped, sprawling onto the cushions, legs splayed.
“Eager to get started I see.” Maes grinned.
“Don’t be an ass.” Roy flailed like a turtle on its back until he righted himself. “And quit knocking me down,” he huffed.
“Can’t promise that.” Maes chased Roy into the bedroom and tackled him on the bed. He pinned the smaller young man’s hands to the mattress above Roy’s head, kissing him hungrily. “Yum.” Maes purred against Roy’s lips, letting go of the alchemist’s hands. “You taste like beer and whiskey.”
“I’m mostly made of boilermakers at this point so no surprise.” Roy tugged at Maes’ shirt.
Maes stripped it off, nearly sending his glasses flying. Settling them back on his nose, Maes stretched up tall, letting Roy toy with the few chest hairs he had managed to grow since he had last seen his long time partner in crime, which sounded better to Maes’ ears than ‘foster brother.’ “You have on too many clothes,” he observed, undoing Roy’s belt.
Both of them clumsily found their feet and struggled out of their clothing. While up, Maes got the hand lotion out of the drawer where he had it well hidden lest his sisters spy it and torment him about blistering his palms. It was amusing how often they thought he was somewhere jerking off. He wondered if Roy ever even thought to do it or was he so lost in his studies, Roy forgot the basics of life? Seeing how hollow Roy’s stomach was, Maes bet on the latter. Setting the lotion on the night stand, Maes toppled Roy back onto the bed.
“You better not be too drunk to get hard,” Maes warned him.
“Me? You’re the lightweight,” Roy protested, his hand moving down to Maes’ cock, stroking it. “Then again you’re so goofy who can tell when you’re drunk?”
“Goofy?”
“Painfully goofy.” Roy nipped Maes’ chin.
“Why do I put up with you?” Maes moaned, his hands cupping Roy’s testicles.
“Because I’m so very good at what I do.”
Maes pinned Roy down. “Yes, you are.” He straddled Roy, sitting on the alchemist’s belly. Maes’ hands trailed down Roy’s torso.
Roy giggled. “Not like that. It’s ticklish.”
“You liked it last time,” Maes protested, his fingers working against Roy’s smooth, hairless flesh.
Roy laughed and bucked, spilling Maes over drunkenly. Maes clawed at Roy and the bedding but he had way too much alcohol in him and too much momentum. He went ass over tea kettle onto the floor with a startled yelp.
Roy peered over the edge. “You didn’t land on it, did you?” he asked worriedly.
“Am I shrieking in pain?” Maes tried to pull himself up using the bedspread but fell back onto his butt.
“I’m torn. Do I come down there and ravage you or sit up here and just laugh my ass off?” Roy smirked.
Maes managed to get up. “Drunken idiot.”
“I told you I was ticklish!” Roy said, shifting on the bed, stroking himself for Maes’ benefit. He most definitely wasn’t too drunk to get a hard on.
Maes rubbed his bruised hip. “Should I forgive you for trying to maim me?”
“It’s your own fault. Besides,” Roy pumped his hips. “You know you want this.”
“You are so nasty.” Maes said, pouncing on him.
“Isn’t that why you begged me to come home for a vacation?”
“Damn right.” Maes sucked on Roy’s larynx, his thumb circling one of Roy’s nipples. The alchemist’s burn-pocked hands deftly aroused Maes. Maes rubbed his hardening cock along Roy’s thigh as he gave Roy another deep kiss. He winced as Roy squeezed a little too tight.
“Sorry!” Roy leaned back against the pillows. “I’s so drunk.”
“It makes you nice and easy, then again you always are.” Maes tickled a finger under the head of Roy’s cock.
“I can also go to the bathroom and finish myself.” Roy pouted at him.
Maes snorted, reaching for the lotion before they both just passed out or something else inconvenient. He slathered up his shaft while Roy licked a trail across Maes’ belly. “You’d better lie back. If we try something adventurous, we’ll both be in the hospital.”
“I’ll be shocked if you can even find the goal. You’re swaying.” Roy giggled.
Maes ran his hands up Roy’s thighs, ignoring the slight. The muscles under his hands made a nice way to center himself. If he started poking around aimlessly like a virgin, Roy would never let him hear the end of it. He kissed Roy almost tenderly, pressing against the tight ring of Roy’s muscles. His lover spread his legs a little more, pushing up against Maes, all but spearing himself on Maes’ cock. Roy made a happy little sound against Maes’ lips.
Their hips moved together with only a few minor miscues thanks to their befuddled senses. Maes almost bent Roy’s cock by accident but a frantic bellow alerted him to the fact the appendage in question had gotten pinched. Maes spilled quickly, faster than he wanted to if he could make his brain hold onto a thought for long. Roy’s penis still stood rampant and Maes couldn’t let that pass. He sucked Roy into his mouth, his tongue laving Roy’s hard hot flesh. It didn’t take but a few hard licks to make Roy come noisily. Maes could only imagine what the neighbors across the street were thinking now.
They curled up together, mumbling something close to ‘I love you’ before they both passed out.
* * *
Maes kept his face against the cool, pitted surface of the bar. Roy had his face buried in the pillow of his arms, his hair dangerously close to being in his eggs. Penelope kept poking Maes with a finger but he ignored her entirely, too overwhelmed by his throbbing head to do anything.
“Eww, I think they’re dead,” Penelope said.
“They smell like it. Couldn’t you have showered?” Molly poked Roy.
“Judging by the empties in the trash, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re dead,” their mother said. “Sit up boys and eat.”
There was something in that statement that promised pain if they disobeyed. Maes sat up, trying not to look at the scrambled eggs. Roy sat up then slithered down until the only thing holding him up was the brass rail.
“Did you boys learn a lesson?” Chris asked, lighting up.
“That Roy leads me into trouble,” Maes said.
“Die.”
“Gladly.”
“There is no part of me that doesn’t hurt,” Roy moaned, hitching himself up a bit only to slide back down.
Chris snorted, smoke curling out of her nose. Her eyes flicked to the barstool Roy sat on. “I wonder why.” She headed for the back office with a wave of her hand. “Eat up, boys.”
Amid the knowing chuckles of their sisters, Roy and Maes exchanged glances, wondering if there was anything their mother didn’t know.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-30 11:55 pm (UTC)It's the hangover scene here that kills me, with the sisters poking them to see if they move. Hee hee hee. Your comedy smut is awesome. I enjoyed the reappearance of Master Hawkeye's threat to chargrill Roy's sausage. It obviously stuck with him. XD
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 01:42 am (UTC)I've written a ton of Academy smut (I did a 30kisses series with
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 02:12 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed this. I'm surprised the sisters were brave enough to touch them. they were probably crusty and gross
no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-01 03:46 am (UTC)yeah I'd have been afraid to touch them
*applause*
Date: 2009-12-12 03:06 am (UTC)BTW i got your card, it's lovely!!!!!! *grin* thanks again.
Re: *applause*
Date: 2009-12-12 03:38 am (UTC)and i'm glad the card made it.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 07:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-17 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-17 06:42 pm (UTC)glad you liked this