Ficlet and stuff

[cornerofmadness]

It's pouring down rain. That's okay. It tends to make me write more. 

I'm in a significant amount of pain. Thursday, a student called my name and I twisted to talk to her and my knee dislocated. That's no big deal. My right knee is subluxed (i.e. the knee cap just floats freely and dislocates all the time). It hurt but calmed down as per normal. Yesterday it was the size of an elephant's knee and I could barely bend it. Still hurts today. I think I popped that old scar tissue. OUCH!

Pimpage - Check out bashipforever 's Post Not Fade Away ficathon. Yes another one but a neat one, it has twists, like for one YOU write your OWN story (so if you don't get it done you're only disappointing yourself). Sign up. The more the merrier.

Holy crap! A sudden gust of wind and I couldn't see out my window for al the yellow aspen leaves! The pool is now full, poor fish

And here's my 15 minute ficlet. This was bugging me all night after a conversation (no not with you ELD). It's C/X fic

CRUSHED
By D.M. Evans
Disclaimer - so not mine. Mr. Whedon owns all
Rating - PG
Time Line - BtVS S3 (early)
Feedback - yes please, connorswhip@Yahoo.com
Summary - The price of a slip of the tongue? Pain.
Author’s Note - This has been bugging me since last night
No sooner than the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to spool them back. What he had said to her had taken her by surprise so much she hadn’t known what to say. She hadn’t been expecting that personal revelation of his pain and the first thing she had said had meant to be an ‘I understand because this is how I handled something similar.’ Instead, it came across as self-centered and she felt him turn to ice. Even as she tried to make a light-hearted joke to cover that faux pas, it was too late. The conversation was already dead and the joke just shoveled on the dirt.
It hurt more than she could say. She hadn’t meant to be insensitive. She had been trying tp be supportive but had found all the wrong words. She knew what he was thinking, ‘calloused bitch.’ He thought the world had to revolve around her, or at least assumed that’s what she thought. He couldn’t be more wrong. She just didn’t know how to help others through their pain so she tried to make it hers for a moment to understand it better.
What possessed him to tell her that family secret in the first place? What had he been expecting her to say? Maybe she wasn’t supposed to say anything at all and was just supposed to listen and be supportive. Why couldn’t she have just done that? Why did she have to open her big mouth and twist the situation to fit her life? How could the innocence of her words be so devastating?
She watched him turn and walk down the hall, mumbling something about having to get to class. She knew it was a lie. Since when did Xander Harris care about class? What he meant was ‘I can’t even trust the girl I care about with my personal pain. She doesn’t care about anything unless it relates to her.’
She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t true. She cared but she just didn’t know how to make herself heard. Whispering apologies to the air still perfumed with his scent mixed with cheese doodles, Cordelia hid her face by pretending to dig for something in her locker. Tears pearled her eyelashes. No one would know how crushed she was. She would put her armor back on and let them think of her as they would. Her pain was private. Maybe that’s the way pain should be.