cornerofmadness

Or is the universe just sucking on its own.

Had to get up earlier than normal on my usual sleep in day to get to the hospital for testing. I'm fasting for 12 hours at this point. I get there and they ask berry or bannana for my barium 'shake'. LIke it matters. While they're getting this, I trundle to the lab next door. Surprise surprise, I no lab work ordered.

Secretary - Call your doc

Me - um...they're not at this hospital

Sec - you don't KNOW their number

Me - have you ever met a patient who knew their doc's number. I don't know they just moved anyhow

Sec - well don't you have a card

Me - they. just. moved.

Phlebotomoist - sec, just look it up on the net (thank you dear lady)

I call my doc, yell a little, give them the fax then go back to imagining while they're waiting on the fax. This 'shake is huge. Like 1500 ml I drink this stuff in tiny sips so not to puke, hit the restroom then head back to the lab since i have to wait an hour after drinking.

Obviously the nurse didn't tell my doc I didn't need ALL my bloodwork since i just freaking had it. They take out four vials and hand me a pee-in-the-cup. SHould have told me this sooner. So now i have to wander around holding this dump cup.

I get into the CT scanner. They remind me I can't take my diabetes meds for several days lest my kidney's die as the meds complex with the contrast dye. THey put in the IV and remind me the dye will give me a foul taste in my mouth then result in a rolling heat wave and the sensation i just peed myself. Have I mentioned how fun this is?

CT scan over (i'm still puzzled at the barium since we're scanning my kidney/adrenal NOT my freaking guts). I go pee in my cup and head to the office...where the contrast dye makes me pee every 15 minutes for hours. And for the first time ever the barium freaks out my GI tract. Let's just say it was a totally unpleasant day.

But it ended in beer andpizza and a Valentine's day gift from my parents since they didn't want me to feel lonely.

I'm having the devil of the time writing. sobs

ETA - oh dear lord big bang is now over 34,300 words and nearly 90 pages long and it's STILL NOT DONE