Writerly Ways - help needed

[cornerofmadness]

I think I'm going to throw out this question to the forums as well. I did myself a disservice by NOT finishing my Vampires in Vegas story at either camp nano. It's hard to do non-linear writing for me. And that's what I'm doing here, patching stuff in the beginning and then I can get to the more linear second half....and that's where I'm running into trouble.

Here's the thing, how many times has the newbie vampire gets trained stories have you seen? Is there anything new that can be added here? So that's my question to you. WHAT would you like to see happen with Arrigo, Luc and Siobhan as far as that's concerned. (I'm assuming Siobhan stays with them because frankly Arrigo isn't a great mentor as far as as I can tell). Is there something you've always wanted to see but haven't? Would you rather gouge out your eyes with a sharpened spoon than read another vampire learns to be a vampire scene? Can Las Vegas add something to the whole experience?

And that's the other thing I can do, jump ahead a few months and blaze past the beginning stuff (giving Luc at least one angst scene because being turned is fairly traumatic, probably more so because he's actually the most religious character I think I've ever written). I know I have to have a couple show downs with his family and of course we have to catch and kill Eleni.

But frankly I'm already bored with the let's track down Eleni scenes (which is not helping my word count). I haven't come up with a viable way to track a lone vampire in a city the size of Vegas so probably in the end, she'll be back to steal Luc back. She created him after all and I think that might be the time Luc FINALLY stands on his own two feet and defends himself.

Seriously though, I really am interested in people's thoughts. I know it's hard to do anything new in the vampire genre but there might be something out there someone wants to see (or conversely never wants to see again).

Thanks

And oh hey, got the cover for the latest story coming out. You can see it here with a teaser

Yearly word count - <div style=" width:="width:">

92274 / 125000
(73.82%)

BBL with today's nano count. okay i did fail today but I didn't feel well.

13674 / 50000
(27.35%)

This is perfect.

Watch on YouTube

Declutter day 296 Item tossed-Psychology work book Why kept-From when I was an undergrad why tossed- Who the hell needs a college workbook that’s filled out nearly 30 years later

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I really don't know. I haven't raed any vampire books in so long except for that weird pre-teen vampire book, which was written with a crazy slant on it. I can't think I've actually read any 'bringing up baby' vampire stories, to tell you the truth. I'm sure there's the first hunt, first kill, first whatever; how to drink blood rule book which I saw on BtVS, or at least alluded to on BtVS. Explanations in my favorite vampire series were given as necessary, because the vampire rarely changed people.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

There is one scene like that (written 20 years ago mind you) and I'm thinking that might be the ONLY one I do and skip ahead a month or so where Luc is more confident and learning without us needing to see it happening and spares me more painful 'let's flail around the Strip looking for one person we don't even really know what they look like any more' scenes

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I like Anat's comments, below, those seem very helpful.

And yeah, flailing around the strip isn't going to help. Arrigo needs some Baker Street Irregulars to keep an eye out for him.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Yes her comments were

and yes, they need something and an explanation for why they are so incompetant as of the moment

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

That would definitely be helpful.

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Hmm...I've read/seen a lot of newly vamp'd stories, but it really comes down to what you're going for in the plot and the agenda of the hero and the villan. Demon/devil stories usually have a conflict with angels/seraphims, sometimes there's a nice twist in greying the space between the polarized good and evil themes, sometimes it's a crisis of conscience....sometimes it's plain ol' run and hide so the enemy (however many or types there are) don't kill you. Depends on how many themes/layers you want for your story, and which one would be the most gripping?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Since at the end of the day, this has to be a romance....probably none of these. Once he falls prey, Luc is taken in by two powerful vampires, ones the enemy doesn't stand a chance again in a frontal assault. They're definitely not hiding.

The real tension is Luc trying to admit to himself that he is gay, that he isn't going to hell because he is gay, having to deal with the feelings he has for Arrigo all the while knowing that if Arrigo hadn't come into his life, he wouldn't be a vampire. But on the other hand, he wouldn't be living in a Vegas Strip Penthouse and still be under his abusive father and brother's thumbs.

Thanks for the suggestions. it's something to think on

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I remember this now. Perhaps the romance can have more than one point of angst, like how does he know this is even real love? What I enjoy most about pairing dynamics is that each person is challenged to see themselves for who they are, and through the other's eyes, as well as whether they want to be seen that way. Maybe this might help?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I think it will help because the reality of it is Arrigo wasn't in love with Luc, lust yes and by the time he realizes how inexperienced (and potentially self-hating) Luc is, he's already done damage if he just leaves.

And damage does get done. THEN Luc gets turned so really the love part grows during the training so I don't want to cut too much but on the other hand I'm not sure I'm bringing anything new to this either.

Yes, I'm still using the title you gave the story, actually

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Love it!

Maybe each of them can have crises of identity, faith, and conscience? Somehow I'm getting a New!Dante good/evil feel with one of the characters...maybe a little Scar with the religious overtones, and some disillusioned idealistic!Roy Mustang...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I think they definitely are. It's already happened to some extent. Luc does have oral sex a couple times with Arrigo before the conversion (and before he catches Arrigo with Siobhan not knowing they're pretending to be a couple to draw Eleni to Siobhan as a target).

Siobhan pointed out parallels between Arrigo and Luc and Arrigo and Fadil (his maker back in the BCs) that I didn't even realize until last night. Yay for epiphanies.

This is still steering me away from the whole training thing (which isn't bad mind you).

apropos of nothing I keep thinking of your comment awhile back about how lame the Fullbrings are and my thought is how annoying is the anime that usually the first 10 minutes is a repeat of the last 10 minutes of the show before it. So. Boring.

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Is there powerful conflicts and tension happening outside of direct sex? Sometimes the angst and sexiness can be just as strong or stronger when they are circling each other in a room, of being positioned against each other by a bigger baddie, you know?

Ugh,I am so upset that the Bleach anime ended at the Fullbringers arc. I hope the rumors are true that a new Bleach anime will be created that is directly along the manga storylines (fillers are fun and good for added episodes). I keep trying to figure out why they were all so boring and flat as characters (except Ginjo). I think it's because the others were solely there as props/tools for Ginjo, and had no other function/purpose for fighting Ichigo than to lose their powers. One function, that's it.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Most of the conflicts are happening outside of the sex. Outside of the whole vampire training thing, my challenges are to be sure Arrigo doesn't come off as a pretentious dickhead and that Luc isn't a complete simpering idiot you want to slap because they could become either of those easily.

Is that where it ends? Geez. I still haven't read the end of the manga.(not particularly fond of this last arc) But yes that wasn't much of a storyline either (though Ichigo had one of the more believable crying scenes)

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

my challenges are to be sure Arrigo doesn't come off as a pretentious dickhead and that Luc isn't a complete simpering idiot you want to slap because they could become either of those easily.

This is precisely why I love making Character charts. Here's two of my favorites: http://www.eclectics.com/articles/character.html
and: http://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Fictional-Character-from-Scratch

It's the hidden aspects of a character (often opposite of their outward behavior) that is often the most attention grabbing and arouses the curiosity in me. Those moments where they act oppositely of who they usually are- those are the moments when I am most intrigued by them and am in suspense of what they will do next.

Edit: Maybe that's why I prefer Lust from the first anime. And the reveals about Unohana's past and character. And how Isshin and Ichigo can alternate from silly to serious.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

okay those are good. I've been using character sheets for 30 years now (back in the paper zine fandom days when you weren't ALLOWED to use the canon characters and had to make your own, everyone had to fill them out).

I've not seen these two sites. They look like fun. I made a HUGE mistake in not filling them out for Kept Tears and kept messing up things like scars etc. I didn't do them for Arri or Luc either. I need to stop doing that.

Here's another site for you http://www.panix.com/~felicia/character/character.php

And that could be re: Lust I would have liked to have seen more with Isshin. That is one thing I hate about Bleach, we don't learn anything about anyone until about 3 panels before they're dead.

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Oooh, this link is awesome! Thank you!!


Yeah I never liked that reveals happen right before they die. I feel like if those developed as the story goes then fans would be more invested in the characters.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

No problem, my pleasure

Yeah, same here. I feel so cheated. What do I care if they die if I only learn about them 5 seconds before they die especially if they're a recurring character for some time

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Kubo brought the Fullbringers into the Soul Society, in Ganju's and Kukaku's group. There's some hints that the Fullbringers will be relevant again in the Quincy arc, but who really knows...at this point Uruhara et al are still MIA too because the manga has been full of Squad Zero fight chapters...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh boy. Rolls eyes. That's another thing I've never really enjoyed about Bleach (or Attack on Titan) the endless fight chapters. I don't mind a good fight scene but man sometimes they go on forever

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know right?? It's like Kubo wants to redeem Ginjo or something.

OMG the worst is when some chapters are so short and pointless! I feel like mangas need a minimum page limit to avoid cheating readers out of their time and money.

I do not like the AoT manga, and the anime was too short and left too many things unanswered.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Who knows.

Yep that's it right there (thankfully the library gets it and AoT so i don't have to splurge)

Funny, I didn't like the anime but my students begged me to read the manga and I AM enjoying that more or less

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

That video is all kinds of awesome.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahaha I thought so

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

I don't read a lot of vampire or other fantasy fiction, so it's hard to say... but they ARE in Vegas, so it gave me the idea that a newbie vamp might need to learn the ropes like any newbie to vegas, be they a thug, a cardsharp or a vamp trolling for blood. Like: How to spot the perfect mark (someone that won't garner a lot of attention or support), how to blend, where to stay, people you need to know etc. Also, vamps need money, so there would be that kind of survival too. It could actually be very much like the usual stuff other vegas hopefuls face.

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I love this idea!!

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

thank you! =D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes that is what he needs to learn and there is some of that in there. I guess i'm trying to determine just how much will be interesting vs enough is enough already. Thanks

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

OH, and I meant to send you this link:
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-11-formation-pancreatic-cancer.html

pretty interesting developments in the fight against one of the most deadly cancers

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh cool thanks. very interesting

[apgeeksout.livejournal.com]

I really like the idea of grounding your training montage in the Vegas setting: does the transitory/touristy population make it easier to find prey and stay under the radar? are vampires kind of an open secret among the locals?

In terms of bringing your antagonist back into the picture, are there any other supernatural creatures or any kind of magic in the universe (or even dangerous-to-cross humans who know about vampires)? Maybe your heroes could call in some favors, or in the spirit of the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend, maybe someone else she's wronged could put them on to her trail? Is there anything she would need or want badly enough to come out of hiding for? They could stake it out - or even actively bait a trap - and wait for her to appear.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

They are not an open secret (which is unusual for me). they are hidden

Yep there are tons of them. They're part of a team but the team is being ineffectual (more so than makes sense so I had to dink with that a bit). They been assigned the wrong kind of witch for the job and the werewolf's nose isn't working in such a crowded place