Writerly Ways

[cornerofmadness]

First off, I have a what's upcoming for Jana post here if you're interested.

I'm struggling to find a title for this novel instead of soldiers of the sun. Either silvrethorn, evil_little_dog or kiramaru7 suggested looking at the other titles and I did and realized there was a subtle theme. Snowbound and THe Darkest Midnight in December. Maybe 'cold' is part of the theme (so watch the next book be in June). How about one of these? Burns like the Cold, Colder by the Minute, Love to Keep the Cold Out


I did say I would talk a little about the negatives in the global notes I received for Soldiers of the Sun which really were positive, overwhelmingly so. Most of the negative was the changed grammar rules and one that wasn't worth me getting too upset about. She didn't like Jo "slut-shaming" another female soldier. Um it's 1932. Nobody gave a damn about that then and the woman was making a move on her partner. I changed it but this is the tip of that ultra-sensitive iceberg I've been talking about.

What did sort of hurt me was the page of notes on not being racist. I obviously don't consider myself racist and wasn't sure what I had done that would be considered racist other than some statements that were meant to be (again it's 1930 and people could be assholes). The whole thing was twice I mentioned Agni (being Indian) has cinnamon hued skin. Okay, I see where they're coming from. Mocha skin, cafe au lait, burnished wood, those things get used a lot (I know I've seen cinnamon skin various places). I can see how they could be objectifying. My question is, how exactly am I supposed to describe someone if I can't mention anything that hints at skin tone? (I didn't ask. I just changed it and moved on because frankly I thought the amount of lecture I got was not warranted and I just wanted to let it drop).

Was that it? No, I mentioned twice Agni is exotic and once compared him to something from his homeland. Okay, again I just edited it out without comment. But this begs another question, if you happen to be a biracial couple and you say you like the difference between you are you then a racist? Because that's what this amounts to.

Believe me, I get why people can be so touchy. There's a horrible history here. I'm not sure Caleb liking the color of Agni's skin is really racist. (I did notice that when Agni talked about the skin color, particularly Temple who is exceedingly white, and frankly exotic to Agni, nothing was mentioned and again, yes, I do realize why).

And honestly, the lecture was gentle but still, it stings. But, better now and change it than have someone shrieking I'm a racist all over goodreads and/or amazon and causing problems.

But again, this is one of the reasons my cast of characters are often overwhelmingly Caucasian. You mention skin color or even culture and someone is on you about it. In the future, I think my default will be tell and not show in these cases. State their background and move on to the important stuff: who they are as a person.

Yearly word count -

18267 / 110000
(16.61%)

Goals: Work on Vampires in Vegas. Edit whatever comes in. I have no idea how to get to SPlinters. I'm just so fractured in my attention any more.

Comments

[bay115.livejournal.com]

Yeah mentioning skin tone is tricky. I think the best approach is to be a bit more plain on the description, like "dark skin" or something. Some people will still not be happy, but yeah that's the only thing I can think of.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that's what I changed it to. I realize someone will get bent out of shape regardless of what you do (like I said there are whole groups who think unless you are of that culture you have no business writing about it which to me is just making a problem worse).

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

I like "Love to Keep Out the Cold" as a tile.

As for mentioning Agni's skin color, I think it's relevant in the scene where they're at that party & he & Jo are the hired help. It's also helpful to note as it helps give the reader a sense of what he looks like, plus at the time the book is set, people would have not problems pointing it out. And he certainly wasn't treated in a disrespectful way by you the author, so I fail to see what the issue was. ^^;

I think you're right about why most cast of characters being Caucasian in books & that's sad. I think that's why I like Star Trek so much, they had characters of various ethnicities, including alien & was cool. And I think people need to get over themselves. We're all people of various shades, non better than the rest, but sadly there was a time when that wasn't true & if one wants to write in that time period & be true to it, they should expect a bit of that unfortunate discrimination in there.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It wasn't actually that scene they had problems with for the obvious reasons, it WOULD have mattered in 1932 that Agni is dark. It was in the sex scenes so yeah I changed it. I wasn't going to argue.

That was always what I loved about Star Trek myself.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. That's good, but not so good with the sex scene. Dark really doesn't do it, especially since Indian people can be very light to very dark & all the shades in between. And as a reader "dark" seems so generic & not only that, Agni woudl be "exotic" to the people there, since I don't think you have the mass emigration of people from India that you see now, since we're more of a global society now. And I think (*is drawing a blank on his name, sorry*) Agni's boyfriend, finding him exotic looking & thinking his skin tones remind him of cinnamon is actually "normal" for that time period. Plus the fact that he is in a LOVING relationship with him, says he's gone past any prejudices he might have had because of his color/birthplace. It's what might have first attracted him, but to me, that's no different than being attracted to someone cuz they have blond hair & blue eyes, or they're the proverbial "tall, dark, & handsome." They evidently found something besides that initial attraction to form a relationship, cuz I'm sure if Agni had been a schmuck, then his boyfriend would be of the same opinion as the people at that party, that he's XYZ cuz he's he dark just like the rest of them & then I can see the editor wondering why you've got this character of color that no one seems to see in a positive light. *shakes head* I could on & on, but I won't, except to say that it's stupid to get hung up on an adjective. Seriously. Now I want to know what your editor, or an editor in general would say about "The Far Pavilions" which is set in India. One character I remember is described as looking like a baboon (it's been a while since I've read it, but I distinctly remember the maharaja who married the main female character being described that way), another was described as being very dark & I think was called a "black man" behind his back. *shrugs*

I think that's why a lot of people love it. :D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Caleb and Temple (Caleb was Agni's partner for much longer). Honestly I agree with you and I am having trouble seeing the racism but I decided not to argue. But yes, Agni isn't really dark. He has that reddish-brown skin tone which is why he got tagged cinnamon but I just yanked it out. I think I put in 'richness' and let readers draw their own images.

I think you're right about ST

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*smacks forehead* I should remember that, as there's a child with that name in the school I work in & remember thinking "there's another Caleb I know now." XD Me too, but yeah... XD Okay. Not as good, but what can you do?

:D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Snort. Don't worry. It's not like I remember the names to your original characters either...or even my OWN half the damn time.

No, it's not but I decided to let it go.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Okay. *huggles* I'm the same way. XD

Okay... and to celebrate letting it go... ;D (hopes it works)

https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Yep that song sums it up

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*nods*

[silvrethorn.livejournal.com]

What about "Cold Comfort"? Overused? It certainly covers what's going on in the plot, though. A "cold" theme speaks more to a "Darkest Midnight" theme than a "Soldiers of the Sun" theme, if you think about it. Soldiers of the Sun sounds warm or hot, like purifying fire or something, not snow and ice.

We discussed your racial dilemma in my writers' group last week, since it's something we all need to be aware of. So we had a good laugh today when our (black) group leader referred to her (black) heroine as having a "mocha" face. I wonder if our leader having a mocha face herself excuses her from accusations of racism? Do minorities get a pass from editors when they write about other minorities?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Hmmm Cold Comfort might work. I'll run that past them. I asked about this whole series thing over the weekend so I'm hoping tomorrow I'll get an answer. Thanks!

Good question. I'm betting it does. Like I said, Agni was allowed to fetishize Temple's white freckly skin without comment so I'm betting this road goes only one way.