rare personal family post

[cornerofmadness]

I don't post all that often about my family or disagreements with them. I figure a) this is more message board than diary to me and b) I doubt anyone cares all that much. Today was interesting. Dad retired today. He liked the fishing book I sent him (mom bought them after I bought a Hodag hat for him) He had a great retirement party and they gave him a 400$ watch with sapphire appointments. AM I the only one who finds the watch for retirement a strange thing? I mean, now that he doesn't need to mind the time nor have work functions to wear a fancy time piece they give him one.

Anyhow that was the weird part of the conversation. He asked me about the school I'm interviewing at and how they could call themselves a university (hell if I know I thought that you ahd to have over X # of students to do that and anything under that number was a college). Which turned to talk about universities vs colleges and I said if you want to be ambitious especially in science go to a university then added I should have done that. That's when he comes up with well I wanted you to take the 6 year undergrad to med school accelerated program at Penn. State. ANd I kinda lost it. He said that once either this christmas or the one before and my brother and I were too stunned to respond. My brother said 'what the hell is he talking about. He and mom wouldn't let you go to a big school.' My parents have always remembered it that THEY wanted me to go to the university and me wanting to go to a small school. I've always remembered it the other way around and thought until my brother spoke up that I must have made it up to convince myself that I didn't tank my career before it began (because really as much fun as I had in college I needed to be in a big school to match my ambitions).

TOnight I'm like Dad, NO I wanted to go to Penn State or Pitt and you and mom wouldn't go for that (and when I was 17 I was a good kid, usually wasn't a problem and did what my parents wanted). He started aruging with me and finally hung up on me. He thinks me and John made this up (like why the hell would we) I even have distinct memories of Mom taking me to a branch campus of Penn State in a small town and at the time branch campuses were for remedial students to warm them up for the big time. THey told us there was nothing there for me. They don't remember this. Odd.

Things work for a reason I suppose. I had fun at Waynesburg, met some life long friends, did so much, things I probably wouldn't have done at a big school. certainly if I had been in the other program I would have been in medical school at age 19 which is probably why I don't have patience for some of my online friends when they're whining about being 21 and being a kid. I'm thinking, no, at 21 I WAS in medical school. Then again I was always a strangely responsible kid, getting two degrees in 4 years and if I had gone to summer school would have had 5 degrees (well 4 I doubt I would ever have finished my math degree). I have no patience for academic sloth which I think it's good that I'm a teacher now later in life. I'm much more jaded and don't take it personally when they don't pass. Back then I would have.

And I'll sign off there since I'm sure I'm boring everyone.

ETA - Go read this post by Evil_Little_dog and this wonderful speech denouncing the surgence of hatred against gay marriage and homosexuals in general and masking it in religion.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/evil_little_dog/67528.html?view=896712#t896712

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I've heard you tell this story about your parents and why you wound up in school where you did and it still amazes me that your parents believe it was your decision to go to a smaller college.

But think of all the great ghost encounters you would've missed out on.

And yeah, that speech is great, isn't it?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it is a good speech

My parents are in total denial And there is this subtle, if I had gone to a better school I would have had a better life that's felt by ALL of us.

I would have missed out on a lot of great ghosts (Jaki feels like I do in this place...) I would never have been invovled in all the plays and the bands and the sororities so I guess that's the trade off

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*siiiiigh* I get that once in a while, too, when Dad starts making comments about me marrying Sean. Of course, he was definitely against it but never said anything to ME about it before the marriage.

I gave Jaki some stuff to try but she hasn't told me if she's tried it or not. I'll have to ask.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I haven't heard from Jaki in two days. Maybe the ghost ate her.

Oh yeah, you told me about your dad and Sean...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I have a Jaki post that I answered but I don't know when it was from.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

she's alive. We've been chatting for an hour now

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Tell her hi for me. :-)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

you missed her

[bashipforever.livejournal.com]

I've learned that memory is very subjective and varies from person to person. There are so many things I remember one way and my family remembers the other way. So odd.

And psh you have led a really interesting life so I always like hearing about it.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes memory is very subjective so that's why for so many years I thought maybe it WAS me but thank god for my brother. Not that ourparents believe us...

[rubyblushu.livejournal.com]

Dana, have you had any strange dreams lately? Ones that felt like memories? Maybe images of a dark, hell-like place pop in your head?

Do you ever have dreams of an old man teaching you to hunt demons?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid to know why you're asking but yes, many of my dreams are like that and always have been

[rubyblushu.livejournal.com]

I hate to tell you this Dana, but your life is a lie. It's all fake.

The real truth is that you were born about four years ago, your parents were vampires. You tried to blow up a mall, and your father did what he had to to rewrite your history.

I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but obviously you needed to know.

I'm so sorry.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

ha ha very funny! it would explain a lot

[makd.livejournal.com]

Okay...this might be a long one, so caveats. I used to run a program for freshmen; part of their orientation was a class I taught that answered lots of questions that both students and their parents had. One of their most common questions had to do with the differences between a college and a university.
It has nothing to do with size; it has everything to do with degrees. Some colleges - like for example, Nassau Community College - can have 30,000 students; some universitites - like for example, Adelphi University - can have 12,000 students. It's not the numbers; it's the degree.

Universities are chartered to offer degrees up to and including the doctoral degree. Some universities also contain schools of medicine, dentistry, law, and various health degrees (podiatry, optometry, etc.). They offer masters' degrees, baccalaureate degrees, and sometimes even associates' degrees.

Colleges are chartered to offer degrees from the associates' to the masters' degrees, with most chartered only up to the baccalaureate level. Sometimes, colleges may link with universities to add doctoral programs they couldn't otherwise afford.

Colleges are also part of universities. For example, a university will have a "college of engineering", a "college of arts and sciences", and so forth. Colleges will have SCHOOLS - like the School of Arts, School of Sciences, School of Engineering.

SOME public colleges use smaller branches as prep for admittance to their larger units; ALL public colleges don't. Here at SUNY straight "A" student is just as likely to be admitted to one of the university centers (Albany, Binghamton, Buffalo, Stony Brook) as he/she is to be admitted to one of the smaller units (Geneseo, New Paltz). A guidance counselor worth his/her salt will assess the student's likes/dislikes, and advise college/university center based on "fit", rather than "grades". It's all about "fit".

Back in the day when I was running the program (after having been a faculty member for ~25 years), I advised some students toward Stony Brook, some toward New Paltz, some toward colleges out of state, some toward private colleges, some toward universities, etc. I tried to find the best "fit" - the best place for that particular student. Some students do very well in a huge university; others do better at a small college. Fit is important. If the fit is good, the research indicates that the student is more likely to finish, rather than drop out.

I've even advised a couple of students to finish their associates' degrees at community colleges THEN transfer to major universities/colleges, first. Why would I do that, when they were "A" students? (1) level of maturity, (2) financial cracks - that is, their parents earned too much for them to qualify for much financial aid and not enough to be able to afford the college/ university they wanted, (3) they had family/personal situations that precluded their moving away.

There are many reasons a student might do the univ. first... One can't generalize about what's a good school, what's a bad school, etc. It's all about fit.

And, again, each state's land grant college system differs, and many systems don't require that you first attend a college, then transfer to the university. It's a state ed. board of trustees' decision; it's not a national policy, at all.

That your parents remember it differently is not particularly surprising. The process of choosing a college is always stressful for both parent and child. You'd be amazed at how many parents I've met haven't the damndest idea what their child wants to major in; you'd also be surprised at how many children would never discuss college costs with their parents because they know their parents are already financially burdened. Result? miscommunicating, non-communicating, and lots of hurt feeling all 'round.

Here endeth the rant. thank you for letting me do this; it's much appreciated. Now I'm returning to grading papers. (This was much more fun.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. So that's how it's done. That explains how a tiny butt college I'm interviewing at can call itself a university (I got the size idea when I asked one of my profs back in college see what he knew).

My other problem is my parents NEVER wanted me to be a doctor. And I do mean never. They fought with me the whole time. They wanted me to be a college professor. I guess we both got our wishes.

Grading papers, ick. I have to get that power point presentation done. I wish they would have just TOLD me what they wanted me to do it on. Now I'm dithering on what I know best to talk about in 20 minutes. Problem is I'm still more interested in Pathology than Anatomy. Ah well (for that matter these guys were interested in my ecology stuff too but i'm fairly sure I'd be better off with Anatomy)

[makd.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

Yeah, I think you both won on that one. I had some family problems - well, lots of family problems - but my parents were okay with whatever I wanted to do, just as long as I paid for it myself. They - well, my father really -took umbrage at other things, which I won't get into here.

Right there with you on the paper-grading, Scooter. I've just finished grading 3 sets of exams, and am breaking for 1/2 hour before going back to grading the papers for the junior-level class.

Next semester, I'm going back to what I used to do 20 years ago: 3 tests, no papers for the intro. It's too much work for them and for me.

Funny thing, I've noticed that every 4 years I have to completely change the way I teach and the way I evaluate students because the "new" gen is so different from the old. Students 15 years ago were workaholics: no tests and beaucoup de papers. They soaked it up, and re-upped for other classes with me. They were willing to get engaged in the work. Today's students: "just lecture, test, and let me go home". NOTHING got them engaged. They just wanted to sit...And believe me, I tried group work, lecture, lecture/ discussion, short papers, videos, field work, etc. They just couldn't get engaged.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

It wasn't that they thought I'd be a bad doctor it was the expense more than anything (and looks like they were right there)

I still don't know where or IF I'll be teaching next semester so I'm not sure what to do. I'm still boggling over the undefined 20 minutes I'm supposed to lecture on. God, just assign me something. Letting me decide...Gemini's don't decide.

Today's students: "just lecture, test, and let me go home". NOTHING got them engaged. They just wanted to sit...And believe me, I tried group work, lecture, lecture/ discussion, short papers, videos, field work, etc. They just couldn't get engaged.

That's what I'm finding with the students here. Last semester was far worse than this one but still it's the 'why do we have to know this if we never use it?' Okay you're nurses, tell me how you can do nursing applications if you don't understand why or how it works.