Dear Roy the Cat

While I know you do appreciate all the fine food the freezer accident freed up for you, heck you can't wolf it down fast enough, there was no need to give me a gift in return. Seriously, I know you're grateful. There was no need to disembowl and behead and neatly draw and quarter the...well, whatever that was, all over my tomato stakes that were waiting for me to get up the energy to put out in the garden. I guess I got them out there now. From now on, to show your appreciation, go hack a hairball on the neighbor I don't like's porch, thanks.