a little something you might like

Well you might like my fennel-blood orange salad but that's for the potluck tomorrow. It's pretty traditional Italian but I never know if it'll go over because people expect super sweet when they see oranges and this is actually savory with olive oil and pepper...

And today was a mad rush of making tests, giving tests, grading tests, making more tests. IN the middle of it I stopped to see my friend with cancer who I haven't been seeing because I'm never sure if I'm bothering her just dropping in and I can't help her like the others because I'm walking with a cane myself. She handed over her paperwork for the upcoming bone marrow ablation, replacement and central line placement and asked for explanations so at least there's that.

Anyhow the something you might like. I'm sharing the first chapter of my nano (unbetaed at the moment). People in the rainbow snippets liked it. I have it up on my author's lj but let me put it here too. thoughts on it are very welcome, good and critical alike.

( Meet Kaleo )

Things to think about

Not necessarily good ones either.

Today at work we had a big decision to make and it went the way I wanted to but I had to do a lot of arguing. I'm rather tenacious. I research my position and I go for. I'm stubborn.

I mentioned this to mom. Her reply is 'you don't have to tell me!'

Yeah I've always been stubborn.

To my surprise she said 'no, you aren't. You used to be much more easy going.'

Well maybe I changed in medical school.

"No, you changed when you left Wisconsin."

I honestly can't remember. But she might be right. That's when I was injured. That was the last time I'm honestly smiling in photos. Maybe I did get more argumentative and needing to be right then when I lost control of my life and everything I fought so hard to achieve. When I arrived in Florida to go back to school, I had lost nearly everything which made the depression which had started about four years before even worse (so I think maybe it did start before that). I guess I'll blame Florida for giving me a shitty personality.

On the other hand I get a lot done. I always have done mind you. It's amazing what I can do when I concentrate, like this week. If I told you all I had to do I'd probably wear you out but I'm keeping on top of most of it.

I've been trying not to bitch as much but I do have to say I'm in enormous amounts of pain. It's my right side (no it's not appendicitis) I'm like 95% sure it's a pulled muscle but how and why I have no idea but it's getting worse.

Today someone on my author's group mentioned that she thought her days in our genre were numbered. Part of me felt like this was a fishing for compliments sort of comment (in how it was done) and part of me thought I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. Day 3 of the sale, where you can get my stuff 40% off and not one sale. Sigh. And no one but tinhutlady looked at my excerpt (thank you!) in spite of the several places I posted it (though I'm less sad about that since it takes ME days to read some stuff people post). The sale hurts. So yeah that feeling of failure is clinging to me.