I have so much school work to do

So I take off the entire day to go to a crafting party at MKF's house in Chauncey (not pronounced like you'd think because it's here....) This ended up being slightly angst ridden for me at first. I had TWO bags of fucking beading supplies on my futon and a literal shit ton in the closet. I have so much I don't even know where to begin. I found a box from Fire Mountain Gem from four years ago that I never even did more than cut open. Nothing inside had been opened. I jammed it in the bag along with two half finished projects and huge amount of pendant focals.

At the party I sat for at least 40 minutes just going through the box going what the hell happened here? It was all marble. No wonder it weighed a ton. It took almost a full hour before I did anything. See, depression is more than just 'sadness' it's the inability to focus as well. Finally I DID finish one thing which was done but I was having issues getting the stupid clasp on it. They had a good suggestion for that which worked.

So here it is. I call it Time Flies.

I started fixing one of my broken necklaces. I had started it on a heavier wire this time but pieces were missing so I decided the broken strand and it's twin (still intact) needed changed out. I put on some of the marble and then found the shells pieces I originally used. Changed it out again. Crimped on the wire...and it broke. Fuck you.

Got new unused wire. Rethreaded it. Crimped. Wire broke. OMFG. Got new wire, rethreaded, crimped. BROKE. I hate you life. Then realized the issue. The crimps were too big. MKF gave me some smaller crimps. FINALLY got one side done. I've the other side to do.

Still have 500 pounds of marble beads.







#13 25 songs I've last listened to. I decided to play with this one and break it into a few days worth of posting because why just list 25 songs. Let me share the music. Also I mostly chose stuff I'm youtubing rather than the last 25 songs I've heard.
( music )

#17 compliments I want? WTF? How weird is this one? Okay tell me I did a good job. Tell me I'm worth while. And for once in my life I'd like to hear a man tell me I'm pretty (who isn't my Dad's age).

I'm beginning to seriously hate myself

I need to stop flailing around like a fucking idiot. I know I hate it here but I can't just jump because I need out. I have to decide What. Do.I. Want.

Case in point. I found This house . It's like the PERFECT house. It's reasonably priced. It's very well kept inside and out. I love everything about it EXCEPT. It's SO IN TOWN. Of course if I had just looked at it before sending it to my parents....

See I should never talk. I should just become a mute. Life would go so much better if I only opened my mouth to give lectures then never make another sound.

It's SOOOOOOOOOOOO in town. Like across the street from a fucking gas station. And two doors down from the police station which MIGHT keep me from getting robbed by all the heroine and meth addicts around here (I looked at a crime stats site on line but I doubt its accuracy. I can believe there were 5 rapes and a murder (I know there was a murder, I remember it happening) but I highly doubt there are 993 registered sex offenders. The site that says there are 7 seems more likely. here's their web page Wellson's demographics are....monochromatic The racial makeup of the city was 97.7% White, 0.2% African American, 0.4% Native American, 0.2% Asian, 0.1% from other races, and 1.3% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 0.7% of the population.(this is pretty much ALL the towns here).

So now Dad's mad at me for wasting his time. I don't know what to do. It IS such a nice house but do I want to trade living with neighbors I hate and can hear all the time to living in town where I can do the same? Everything I've found for years outside of town have been shit boxes or 20 year old double wides.

I did send an email asking about the age of the windows and average monthly utility bills. Why couldn't this be out of town? Or at least UP the street off the main drag a little? You know right next to the haunted Wells mansion and equally haunted cemetery a block away.

If you do look at it, google earth it and look at that sweet police station. It's a gorgeous building.

I'm not in the mood to do that meme but here's two more songs toward the 25

Watch on YouTube

Watch on YouTube

Writerly Ways

I forgot to mention in the other whiny post that Mom took a bad fall today. She's all bruised up but naturally refuses to go to urgent care and prefers to be under 101 ice packs. (It's another reason I'm unsure about buying a house. I have no idea how I'm going to handle elder care from a distance so I truly hate my job too because it's not one where I can easily transfer to a new location).

I was wondering what a Mary Sue/Larry Stu means to everyone. To me it means Mr/Ms Perfect who is always the best at everything and nothing really goes wrong for them. Lately I've been seeing that term slammed onto any character who happens to be brilliant at what they do. By that definition Sheldon Cooper is a Larry Stu (and I'm sure some would argue he is in spite of his many failings).

If being brilliant automatically makes you a Stu/Sue then I guess we can't tell stories about child prodigies. How about a character going for three degrees at once while keeping a 3.5 gpa while working and being in band and theater? Too unbelievable? What about the three year old who begins to master violin or piano? Do you stop reading immediately.

I can understand where some of it is coming from. If you're already perfect where is the conflict? Too many stories you get the chosen one who's never wielded magic/sword/gun and suddenly they're better than everyone around them. That bugs me too but even brilliant characters have their flaws and challenges. So long as we see them as part of the story are they then truly Stus/Sues?


And have a few links inner conflict

making the reader a participator

love is a disease

I just don't have it in me to chase down my weekly stats, maybe tomorrow but before I go happy birthday to seta_suzume and apgeeksout I think I'm within a day of being on time for that...