The good news is
Sep. 6th, 2018 12:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessNO diabetic changes to my eyes. Woot! We're trying a new type of contact too. However, getting your eyes dilated at 8 AM and then having to stare into a projector for 3 hours as I teach was murder.
Then I came home.
So I was putting away a jar of Puttanesca sauce in the fridge for later use. Now I DO know better than to carry it in my bad hand but I forget. I dropped it. Luckily the glass didn’t break. But the lid did come off. Sauce splashed on all three sides of the fridge. It knocked the grill off the bottom of the fridge spilling sauce under there. It spattered the wall next to the fridge.
But it wasn’t done, there. Oh no. Literally three times the amount of sauce that could possibly be IN a jar came sloshing out as if this jar was a portal to a realm made entirely of Puttanesca sauce. It splattered my feet, my legs, my shorts, my shirt, my GLASSES. It sprayed the entire width of my kitchen floor. It splattered the cabinets on the far wall, up to the sink and onto the WINDOW.
I’m standing there in the middle of a puttanesca bukkake, all but sobbing. Then I run out of paper towels so I’m ninja-ing across the carpet – so not to get it from my feet that won’t come clean - to the other room to get more. Anchovy oil is seeping out of this stuff everywhere. It takes about half a roll of towels to clean everything up. The jar miraculously still has sauce in it (seriously, is there a Puttanesca Hellmouth spewing this stuff inside this jar?).
Ninja back across the carpet, shimmy out of clothes and me and the clothes go in the shower.
And the real topper? Now the damn sauce has given me heartburn.
Then I came home.
So I was putting away a jar of Puttanesca sauce in the fridge for later use. Now I DO know better than to carry it in my bad hand but I forget. I dropped it. Luckily the glass didn’t break. But the lid did come off. Sauce splashed on all three sides of the fridge. It knocked the grill off the bottom of the fridge spilling sauce under there. It spattered the wall next to the fridge.
But it wasn’t done, there. Oh no. Literally three times the amount of sauce that could possibly be IN a jar came sloshing out as if this jar was a portal to a realm made entirely of Puttanesca sauce. It splattered my feet, my legs, my shorts, my shirt, my GLASSES. It sprayed the entire width of my kitchen floor. It splattered the cabinets on the far wall, up to the sink and onto the WINDOW.
I’m standing there in the middle of a puttanesca bukkake, all but sobbing. Then I run out of paper towels so I’m ninja-ing across the carpet – so not to get it from my feet that won’t come clean - to the other room to get more. Anchovy oil is seeping out of this stuff everywhere. It takes about half a roll of towels to clean everything up. The jar miraculously still has sauce in it (seriously, is there a Puttanesca Hellmouth spewing this stuff inside this jar?).
Ninja back across the carpet, shimmy out of clothes and me and the clothes go in the shower.
And the real topper? Now the damn sauce has given me heartburn.
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no subject
Date: 2018-09-06 05:57 pm (UTC)OMG! This is a hilarious image, but so so horrible! I might have sworn a lot and cried a little bit if this had happened to me.
(My sister was baking a cake once for some family birthday or such before we went over and she channeled my dad to get All The Cocoa out of the container, so she added some hot water and shook it. The cover exploded off and chocolate water went ~everywhere, much like in your story, including the ceiling. She was not a happy camper.)
no subject
Date: 2018-09-07 04:55 am (UTC)oh no to the chocolate water!
no subject
Date: 2018-09-07 04:54 am (UTC)At least the jar didn't break? Sauce everywhere is bad enough. :P
no subject
Date: 2018-09-07 04:59 am (UTC)Yeah at least the stuff that stayed IN the jar will still be edible since it's not full of broken glass and crap.