Another sucky day

[cornerofmadness]

So I get up for the 8-12 time slot. Not unsurprising, the tech never shows nor never calls. I go to work, no news on the sabbatical front but my chair said what I thought we're shocked that they're even doing it given our financial situation. I get home and another damn hour conversation with Frontier to be told 'they're too busy' and can't get out here. Sigh

And in doing something on Goodreads I see that my publisher had sent out ARCs of my Christmas short story which has a nice 4.0 rating right now. BUT then I see Blood Red Roulette has an awful one. I didn't read them. The reviews aren't meant for me but man that is hard. It feels SO bad when a story that took me forever to write falls flat but even worse when something you pulled out of your ass in literally 3 weeks will probably end up my highest rating. Sigh. Of course I had a bad feeling about Blood Red from the beginning. I mean when you can't even get people to take ARCs for reviews you realize no one really wants to read what you're writing and why are you bothering?


So it was hard to pull the muse out from under the bed and get anything done. Speaking of the muse and anyone bothering, I'm trying to do a spicy advent story so what do you think I should try? Naughty spicy or sweet spicy (it'll be Buffy verse since they won't leave me alone suddenly)

Tonight's snippet So, will you have a partner, Zvon?"

He nodded. "Marin's still in the field. I'm going to be with him."

"Which means there will be those who'll want us both to fail." Marin sighed, slicing into his Coutts's steak.

"I'm used to that. When I started with the department three years ago there were several who didn't want to look beyond my past." Zvon stabbed his steak violently. He was able to hold the fork to keep the steak in place with his prosthetic but the force nearly tore it from his tenuous grasp.

Arria glanced at Marin, trying to read his face. She knew Zvon's past was an open secret in the department and most didn't hold it against him but there were always jerks everywhere. She remembered how he had wept until she thought he'd break within days of arriving at her mother's home as he confessed the things his father had made him do. He felt unworthy of them, of his new home and he confessed as fast as he'd hope his suspects would do.

"I do not understand blaming a child for the things his parent forced him into," Marin sniffed, kicking him up a notch in Arria's estimation.

"Neither do I but there's always one, isn't there? I face similar nonsense on occasion because of who my mother is, as if the only reason I'm in the cadre is because Tanyth is so good and guardian to the queen. As if I have no talent of my own."

"That certainly can't be true from what little Zvon's told me of you while we were waiting."

"Not true but that doesn’t' stop it from being said." She flattened her palms against the table, trying to draw strength. "But enough of that. This is a happy day after all."

40509 / 50000 words. 81% done!

Comments

[notasupervillain]

Oh that's so hard. Bad reviews are impossible to get out of your head. Hugs and cups of tea.

[cornerofmadness]

Thanks. Tea helps. I didn't dare read the review but just knowing they're there hurts. Sometimes this writing thing is for the birds

[notasupervillain]

It's hard. But if it helps, it sounds like it's hard at every level. You're at heights I don't even aspire to, and you have exactly the same fears and insecurities about your published novel that real humans have paid money for as I do when I don't get a Kudo on fanfic.

Haters gonna hate, as T Swift says, and there's always gonna be people in the world who aren't into what you do. You're telling stories that are important to you, and sharing them, and I think that's brilliant.

Minus the sharing part, that's what I tell myself anyway.

[cornerofmadness]

It IS hard at every level. Certainly fanfic writing wasn't any easier. Some fans can be insane and cruel and for some reason utterly unable to look past ships that aren't their own.

Or professionally I'll get someone going ewwww vampires /werewolvs/gay people and I'm like WHY buy it (but to be honest they might not have, especially that latter. There are religious watch groups that love to go to LGBT stories and one star them on purpose.

T. Swift does have that right and thank you very much. You're right. Write the stories that make you happy and Luc and Arrigo have made me happy for 20+ years.

[sylvanwitch]

I'm sorry about the negative feedback on the book. That's really hard. I'm glad you're still writing, though. I think it was your advice from yesterday's WED that advised getting on with it, even when it's hard. Easier said than done, for sure, I know, but I hope the muse keeps visiting you, even if it's just to write some delicious sweet spicy Buffy. :-)

[cornerofmadness]

Thanks. I didn't read the reviews but man just seeing that under 3 star rating killed me. I'm still writing but it's not easy.

technically it'll be sweet spicy Dawn/Connor or naughty spicy Faith/Connor (in this AR he's technically with both, happy polys. If it was Buffy knowing me it would be Buffy/Angel/Spike, why choose right?)

[spikedluv]

I'm sorry you're having such a sucky day. Can you call the better business bureau or something and report Frontier? Maybe leave a really bad review on their website or somewhere will get them hopping.

[cornerofmadness]

I tweeted it and they were on it in like 20 seconds. It miraculously came on overnight.

I did report them

[spikedluv]

Which means they didn't even need to come to your house to fix it; that it was probably something on their end all along. How very frustrating. Especially that frelling 'too busy to come out' excuse. Arrgh!

Good. I hope they do better in future.

(Does your local news station have something where they investigate things for people? Like if you told them your story, they might check with other customers and do a news piece on it? That might really get their attention.)

[cornerofmadness]

Exactly, either it was at the tower or outside my place and this is exactly what happened the last time this happened.

Ha, great suggestion. My local TV news is 75 miles away...in another state (I'm just that rural!)