It's weird

[cornerofmadness]

I'm not excited to leave on Sunday. I'm not having my travel anxiety. I'm completely dead inside over all of this. I doubt that bodes well for my mental state. I keep telling myself it'll be fine once I'm there. I'm unconvinced of it.

Today I crushed two toes into the wall so I might be going with broken toes. Both of my parents were quite concerned because the crack was audible. I looked and said, huh hit the wall. No more reaction.

Worried this deadness will be in my two wips as well.

Got my hair colored today though I plan to mostly use my wig. I have my list written out for packing if nothing else.

I have looked up all the hotels to see what they're like and what the food sitch is (not that I'm sure we'll be eating near one of them) One does have a sundae made with lemon-ginger ice cream, honeycomb bits and gin. I do want to eat that.

My R2D2 bag made it here. It's very obviously for a kid but it's cute and I like it.

Oddly enough I just bred a couple dragons of the Siamese like colors rahirah had been looking for a while back.

Here's a couple fannish recs for Thursday two little comment_fic

Spike & Angel. and Spike & Drusilla.

And here's my intoabar prompt. Suggestions entertained



Connor Reilly goes into a bar and meets... Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)!

Comments

[spikedluv]

I know the past few weeks (months, years) have been kind of sucky, especially wrt work, but I hope you get your squee back about your trip.

Your links to the comment fic got kind of messed up.

I don't know anything about your second character, but could they bond over horrible fathers or being sent to hell dimensions, or anything like that?

[cornerofmadness]

thanks. It's been a hard year.

oh geez, thanks I'll look at it.

hahahaha yes they can bond over bad dads and hell dimensions

[sylvanwitch]

I think when you've had a complete onslaught of very stressful, negative news, it's almost a natural defense mechanism to just stop feeling anything. I know what you mean about such a state being a precursor to a serious depressive episode, however, so please understand that I'm not dismissing your concern. I hope that travel shakes you free of the numbness and that you get to enjoy your time abroad. I'm sorry you're going through what you are with work; I wish there were an easy resolution, and I know there's not.

[cornerofmadness]

No there is not. I've dealt with clinical depression my entire adult life, probably earlier really. Work is definitely the big stressor here.

And I appreciate the concern, thank you