sort of confused

[cornerofmadness]

There's a neighbor kid Z, who introduced himself to me last week and wouldnt' stop talking to me. He's about 7 -9 I guess. I'm not really a kid person but Z likes me apparently. I also feel rather sorry for him. There's jackshit to do down here other than run around in the pathetic yard. He and another little buddy sit on the front porch of his apartment and play video games all afternoon. (I have suspect Mom won't let them inside to play these but she does have padded chairs out for them. I've never even seen mom)

I've taken to sneaking in the back door so Z doesn't see me (Because I'm the brave little toaster). Today I tried to sit out there and even though I'm obviously talking on the phone Z is trying to talk to me and get my attention 'Watch me Dana, Watch me!' (he's trying to pop a wheelie and mostly just hurting himself). I had to go back inside (to play with the thermostat but he could have thought I was running off on him).

Later as I'm in the tub, someone knocks on my door. I ignore it. It's nearly 9pm and i'm reading in the tub go away. The person is very persistent. Thinking it might be the neighbor I share a wall with coming to say my music is too loud or something I get out get dressed and answer the door. It's Z with a broom. "Dana can I sweep your porch?" yeah knock yourself out, kid. I now have to go abck inside and finish school work.

But I feel bad. Obviously Z wants someone to talk to. I'm not much on kids and I have nothing for him, no snacks or games. The best I could do is sit outside and watch him play. I guess I could but in the past Z has shown a reluctance to let me escape if I encourage him. Then again I feel bad because I know he has to be lonely and the parent (s) is letting video games and tv raise him. Sigh. The urge to slap any parent who parks their kid in front of a tv all day and do nothing else with him is overwhelming

Comments

[druinsanity.livejournal.com]

Oh wow... yeah. So, my nieces and nephews think I'm the cool aunt. And while I love kids and do not mind having this title, their parents pay little attention to them and they really have no discipline so it irks me, There are moments when enough is enough and you want to get the parent and say take care of your kid!

I feel bad saying that but... wow. Yeah I get you. Alot of times I just cling to Wyatt and say 'uhm... how much longer are we here?' at family stuff.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

same with my cousins. Their parents did the psychological bullshit and guess what ever last one of their now-teens are so fucking out of control that they have no clue when a little discipline might have helped. At least my cousins I WILL tell them to mi nd their kids or I'll do it for them

[bashipforever.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you feel on all accounts. I've learned with my neighbor kids that it's nice to talk to them a little, give them a bit of attention but you've just got to be firm at some point. Say okay Z watching you play was fun but I have to go work or whatever. He'll probably think you're the greatest thing ever for spending any time "with" him and I don't think kids look for ulterior motives. If you say your going to do work they take that at face value for the most part.

Seriously though, the parent/s should be doing something besides letting the kid spend all his time with video games. It's not your place to entertain their child.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks for the suggestion. Like I said, having as little contact with kids by choice I don't know much about the little critters. I'm learning with my 'nephew' Ian who will of course try to get all the attention I'm willing to give.

[jen-nsync-landl.livejournal.com]

Wow, what an awkward and difficult situation. I don't think I'd have any idea what to do, but I definitely second your irritation with the epidemic of parental irresponsibility.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it's quite annoying. I would like to help but I have the feeling this kid will latch on and never let go

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

That's a tough situation. Z is obviously desperate for attention (and his mother is SO lucky she's up there and I'm down here. Neglectful and/or abusive parents will drive me to murder faster than anyone). If you could set aside some time for him, maybe every other day or so, for 30 minutes, an hour, whatever, where you could hang outside with him and watch him bike or play cards with him or something, you would do more for Z than I think you would ever know.

If you could find out some things he's interested in - books, Matchbox cars, etc. - I'd love to send him some stuff.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you're right. He has a little buddy who I'm not sure if he's a brother or a friend. Right now I have no time to sit out there but once school calms down, I should.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_omega_man/]

Maybe let him drink FROM THE FIREHOSE!!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i would but the landlord has padlocked the hose apparatuses outside the places (Not firehoses mind you but hoses for....landscaping? snort)

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

I have no advice what so ever, but i've been in similar situations, in Scotland, in schools, the kids who are about 12 often help with the younger 5/6 year olds, it's called 'monitoring', your picked to go down to their playground at breaks to make sure their supervised and you help the teacher in class, although I doubt it's allowed now, this was over ten years ago and their's probably laws now saying a 12 year old can't be responsible for a 5 year old, but their were kids who screamed neglect (I grew up in a really bad area, which didn't help this) and therefore would be really clingy to any older figure who was nice to them, I had a couple of kids who were like that with me, and it made me uncomfortable, and angry, I once found one of them wondering the streets in the dark on my way home from the library, and had to walk her home, which made me furious at the parent, course, being 12, I never said anything, I just took the kid to her building and went home.

So it's a crappy situation to be in, you don't want to be mean to the kid, becasue they don't deserve it, but you can't raise them in the parent's place.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that's pretty much it. I feel sorry for the kid because I see him off on his own all the time. Here it's rural poor as opposed to city poor but it's pretty much the same thing. We have monitoring here as well but it's mostl just within the confines of the school