I hate this

[cornerofmadness]

I was just congratulating myself for doing so well lately with my anxiety and depression and then bang about five this morning it came roaring back, first one of my anxiety dreams of forgetting stuff on a plane and having to run back for it and the jetway being gone when I try to get off the plane and I'm locked in (a lot of my anxiety dreams have to do with me getting locked in somewhere). Woke up with actual chest pains and nausea to burn. Sigh. A lot of it has to do with a name from the past coming back to haunt me and just some of the stupid mistakes I made back then coming with it. It's not like I can change any of the things that happened even if I wanted to (which well, yeah I do) And then it was coupled with the debt thing again to the point I just wanted to call in sick today even though I know going to work would help (I'm going).

On the plus side all the anxious grinding actually smoothed off the sharpe jagged edge of my exposed filling.

Speaking of loans, I had a bit of providence on that. On the very last day to submit the forms I got through to a live person (after 6 weeks) and lo and behold the problem I was having was I tried to follow directions and update my address. I got them to remove two loans that weren't supposed to be there (including the one I'm being sued for) and they changed my address. I spelled it for them including the call signs for the commonly mistaken letters like B-ravo and D-elta....they still spelled it wrong I found out later. I was cautioned to IGNORE the prompts to print because that would freeze the program up and then I couldn't finish it online...WTF? Why would they have prompts that screw up the program? I just nod my head and ignore the prompts. I get kicked out three times because it decided I don't have cookies enabled (I do) but FINALLY I got it all taken care of. I have 30 years to pay it back...that's almost as long as I've been alive...I'll be nearly 70. Oh. GOd.

Got my Wolverine/Rogue charity story started...

Comments

[bashipforever.livejournal.com]

Good bit on the loan at the very least. Although I can sympathize with you on the 30 years part.

I hope the anxiety and depression get better. It sucks when things like that derail you out of no where.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i can almost breath normal now so I might crawl out from under the computer stand...

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

Egads, have you had problems with those stupid loans. I'm very happy for you that you finally got them straightened out. Sorry you're having anxiety dreams though.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. Oh me and my loans...here's to faking my death and running away...(which was literally an option my advisor suggested)

I'm used to teh dreams but it had been a few months I was doing good

[jen-nsync-landl.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the loan stuff got straightened out, even if it was far too much drama to get it all done.

Sorry, though, to hear about the depression. I think that once you've been seriously depressed, it can sometimes take just the slightest thing to trigger those feelings all over again. I've found that the despair tends to lessen relatively quickly and balance gets restored relatively easily, but it still sucks to be knocked off your pins so quickly and thoroughly. I'll think good thoughts that you're feeling better ASAP!

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I have the stories waiting for this evening for me to edit. Whoopee, stories!

And AIGH for the loan site. AIGH, I tell you. (Where's that fire axe when you need it?)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

you have less than a page. Don't get too excited. You do have the tail end of the smut story though so that'll keep you busy

Oh I'd love to fire axe my loan company. Hell I'd fire axe your loan company

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'm over the moon to get some of the loan stuff worked out trust me

Yeah I've battled depression and anxiety for years. Usually I have a real trigger but occasionally it's free floating...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oh I'd love to fire axe my loan company. Hell I'd fire axe your loan company

Sounds like a plan to me!