Writerly Ways

[cornerofmadness]

This week has me thinking about the shape of grief and writing it. Of course grief is different for everyone and that's one of the things we have to remember. Cop shows love to make a huge deal out of people being unemotional being guilty of murder. Women weep uncontrollably. etc etc. This takes me to one of the more contentious (and it was very mild at that) critique with someone in my writers group (it still could use new blood if you're interested) He was adamant 'men don't cry' and was very upset that I had a male character crying.

Now he was as old as me within five years (and is gone now) so I don't doubt he grew up with that drummed into him. I assigned him the task of watching some true crime show I liked at the time. Those detectives often went misty eyed and that was over someone they didn't really know. Look, men do cry. He never was convinced.

In showing grief on the page can be whatever you want. My brother cried far harder than me. Others laughed inappropriately. Some couldn't be in the viewing room. Others kept insanely busy (me) Others got nasty and lashed out. It's all manifestations of grief and it comes in and out like the tides. It's hot. It's like ice inside you. It's very hard to capture on the page.

There will always be someone who says you're doing it wrong. We can't always worried about that.



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