New Fic - FMA - Between Light and Shadow
May. 24th, 2006 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessBetween Light and Shadow
An Uncharted Series Story (story #3)
D M Evans
Disclaimer - I don’t own them. all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition. I don’t make a profit
Rating - NC-17
Time Line - During Ishbal, manga verse (note the series was started before all the details of chapter 59 came out. There is an assumption of the series that Maes, Riza and Roy were all dispatched to the war at the same time) contains spoilers from 57-59
Pairing - Maes/Roy, implied Roy/Riza, with lots of unwanted attention from Kimbley
Summary - Kimbley makes Roy a very ugly offer as his price for not informing Military Command that Roy is fraternizing with two junior officers.
Author’s Note - Warning- There are themes of sexual coercion in this and attempted nonconsensual sex but neither are NC-17 explicit but you should be aware they exist.
Author’s Note #2 - Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fullservicefma’s May challenge “shadow”. Thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evil_little_dog and mjules for the beta.
Author’s Note #3 While part of a series, each story is a stand alone. All you need to know is it’s set in Ishbal and Maes and Roy have started a relationship (their relationships to Gracia and Riza are also in play). You can find the other stories, if you’d like to see them here.
Ashes and Flame by me and
More than Alive bymjules
It is the middle ground between light and shadow - Rod Sterling
A dark, shadowless night was often to a soldier’s advantage; it certainly was tonight. Roy and Maes had been sure not to have any lights burning in Roy’s private tent, no telltale shadows for them. Roy didn’t know how he had come to this place in his life. He had arrived in Ishbal already carrying a bushelful of secrets in the form of his relationship with Riza. The upper brass wouldn’t care that they had known each other most of their lives and that they had fallen before enlisting. Rules were rules; you didn’t fraternize.
So what would the brass make of what was happening between him and Hughes? Nothing good. Roy hadn’t told Hawkeye that she was now sharing him. He wasn’t sure she’d understand. He wasn’t sure that he understood but after the first firestorm he had created, nothing had been the same.
Would Hawkeye understand that he hadn’t turned to her in pain because he just couldn’t handle being weak in front of the woman he loved? She already couldn’t accept what he had done with her father’s teachings, with the array she had given him. He suspected his pain would only make matters worse. He hadn’t meant to open up to Maes, either. Maes had made him. Roy hadn’t known his depth of feeling for Hughes. He’d never been attracted to men. Sometimes in the back of his mind, he wondered what he was doing as he was kissing Maes. All Roy knew was he was suddenly in love with his two best friends and it was a mess, a pleasurable mess.
“Roy, is something wrong?” Maes asked softly, his hand running through Roy’s hair in a way that made Roy just want to sit at his friend’s feet and be petted all night. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
The concern in Maes’ voice was like a security blanket. Roy rested his forehead on Maes’ thigh for just a moment, grateful that his friend cared this much for him. Roy knew Maes wanted him to do this but he was willing to set aside his desires if Roy wasn’t ready. That was what made Roy trust Maes so much. He couldn’t ever have imagined himself preparing to love on a man like this but Maes’ warm care was so reassuring it drove out most of Roy’s doubts. “Sorry, just flashing back to the firestorm,” Roy murmured, shifting on his knees where he knelt before Maes sitting on the bed.
Maes caught his chin, tipping his face up. “If you’re in that frame of mind, Roy, you don’t need to even be thinking of trying this. We can just talk. You probably need that more than anything.”
“I need to be loved, to keep me away from that bad place.” Roy twisted so he could suck Maes’ fingers. He needed Maes to understand he wanted to be here with him like this. He needed to not think about the horrible things he was doing. If Maes could love on him, then maybe he really wasn’t a monster. That’s what he needed most, to believe he wasn’t a fiend.
“If you’re sure,” Maes fretted, his erection starting to soften as worry overtook lust.
Roy just made a low sound in the back of his throat as he reached out and stroked Maes’ half erect cock. He didn’t want to talk tonight. He wanted to fuck and forget. Roy shoved his dark mental state aside. He didn’t want to do this while angry, either. It was strange enough without that.
Roy wanted to move in a new direction with their relationship now that there was no question there was one. They agreed that they weren’t outfitted for some types of exploration but others were easier and no less pleasurable, or so he hoped.
Now, darkness rising quelled, all Roy needed was to get over his shyness. He had never thought once in his life about sucking on a man and now he both wanted to and was afraid to. What would this taste like? What would Maes think of him afterwards? He fisted Maes’ cock as he worked up the nerve to plant a kiss on the tip of it. Maes’ penis twitched as Roy pressed his lips against it; salty, moist, and warm. It was trickier than Roy realized to roll his lips and tongue over his teeth. Blow jobs that were nothing but teeth were painful and not fun. He had always expected his girlfriends to be able to do it without a hitch, apparently he was a demanding bastard.
He wasn’t sure he could do this. What if he messed up? Roy couldn’t look at Maes as the man’s hand skimmed over his shoulders, his touch hot. Was he getting impatient? Would he tell Roy if he was doing it wrong? What made him think he was ready for this?
Roy curled his tongue around Maes’ cock, sliding him in a little, still a little surprised at the meaty saltiness of it. Roy managed to find a shallow rhythm with Maes susurrating encouragement. He took a peek up. Maes’ eyes were closed, his head back. Maybe he was enjoying this. Trying to go deeper, Roy almost gagged himself. Maes flinched. Roy didn’t have to look up to know there would be a worried expression on Maes’ face. His lover murmured his name, concern ladening the solitary word. Getting this right really was tricker than Roy thought it should be. He wanted this to be good, to mean something. He tensed, feeling like a failure.
He was determined not to disappoint Maes, though from the soft, contented sounds Maes was making, Roy wasn’t sure he was. Since when was a lack of confidence his problem? Apparently from the moment he thought he knew how to go down on a man. Roy managed to slide Maes deeper into this throat finally, learning how to breathe through his nose. Roy moaned around him as Maes buried his fingers in Roy’s hair, massaging his scalp, trailing them over the base of Roy’s skull. Maes strong fingers danced deftly over Roy’s shoulders. Roy mewled, his testicles feeling so heavy, so tight he was afraid he’d come immediately if Maes didn’t stop.
“Roy, I’m going to...” Maes warned, trying to ease Roy back, pulling free of Roy’s lips.
“Okay,” Roy said, giving Maes’ cock a last greedy tickle with his tongue, pleased that he had actually brought Maes to this point. He reared back as Maes spilled, catching Roy over the lips, chin and eye. Tasting the musk on his lips, Roy sat back, wiping his eye.
Maes patted his head, a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry, buddy.”
“I’m not very good at this,” Roy said ruefully, giving voice to all his pent up worries.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Maes smiled gently, his fingers rubbing deep into the tense muscles of Roy’s shoulders. “Your problem is that you want to be perfect from the first try. I’d think you’d be easier on yourself.” Maes leaned down, kissing Roy’s sticky lips as he drew the smaller man up on the narrow cot with him.
Roy moved over Maes, slowly rubbing his hot, quivering flesh over Maes’ taut belly. “I have high standards,” Roy murmured, honest and yet pleased with himself at the same time.
“I know.” Maes tapped his tongue over Roy’s pulse point. “I’ll try next time.”
Roy just rumbled softly, his hips falling into a rhythm guaranteed to bring sweet release very soon. Maes quieted, his hands and lips seeming to be everywhere over Roy’s back and face. There was no doubting Maes liked what he was doing now. He knew he had this down right. Roy bucked, swallowing back his cry of release, hot fluid spurting between their stomachs. Maes’ arms wrapped around Roy tightly. Roy tucked his cheek against Maes’ shoulder. Roy wanted to tell Maes how he was feeling. He needed his friend to understand that he was hopelessly in over his head, drowning in emotions. Instead, all he did was snuggle in tighter, soaking up every nuance of Maes’ touch.
“I never want to move,” Roy whispered, shocked at the bold honesty of his words.
Maes’ grip tightened, his lips finding Roy’s, gentle and undemanding. “Wish you didn’t have to.”
The men stole more moments together before finally getting up and cleaning off their sweating, sticky bodies. Roy watched as Maes dressed and headed towards the door. His throat constricted. He wanted Maes to stay. It was insane and yet Roy wanted it. He just wanted away from this place and to be allowed the things he could have if Roy were anyone else.
“I wish...” Roy shook his head. He couldn’t say it yet. He wasn’t ready for ‘I love you, yet.’ “I’ll see you at breakfast, Maes.”
“Nothing like a meal you have to pick the sand out of before you can eat it.” Maes grinned. Roy could see the undercurrent of emotion running through his friend, hiding behind the grin. He suspected Maes wanted to say something more as well but this wasn’t the place. It was all too new for them still. Neither of them were very sure of where they stood. “Good night, Roy.”
“Good night.”
Roy lay back on the bed, wishing for company in it to help fend off the demons that visited him at night. There was no one and he feared that as long as his heart loved like it did, he was destined for loving in secret and sleeping alone.
X X X
Roy splashed some water on his face. The water seemed somehow brackish and utterly inadequate to the task of removing the stench of burnt flesh from his skin. Roy clenched his jaw as a memory floated up of the men running around on fire, their flesh melting like wax. He wished, not for the first time, that he had never seen Riza shirtless. This was what Teacher had feared would happen. Roy had never thought that it would come to this, that he’d become a murderer. The worst thing he had ever heard in his life was Riza asking him how he managed to twist his alchemy into this monstrosity. The look of agony in her eyes, a reflection of his own buried pain, gutted him.
Roy stiffened, hands over eyes, water dripping down his face as someone tickled his fingers up Roy’s spine. Neither Maes nor Riza would be that familiar in public. Even without turning around Roy was fairly sure he might know who it was. A quick look over his shoulder proved it. Roy pulled away, wiping his face. “What do you want, Zolf?”
Kimbley lost his snake’s smile. “Don’t call me that.”
Roy smiled. He now had a little thing he could prick Kimbley with. “The question stands.”
“Just that you looked real good out there today, Flame.” Kimbley moved in closer, invading Roy’s space. He came close to touching Roy but didn’t, though it was enough to make Roy’s hair stand on end. “You must be happy or really pissed. Which of your lovers did that for you?” Kimbley’s snaky smile slithered farther across his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Roy hoped his face didn’t betray him as he pulled back from the Crimson Alchemist. Kimbley kept insinuating he knew something but Roy didn’t know if Kimbley had any proof. If he did, they could be in real trouble with the military. He was very determined not to give Kimbley any ammunition but Crimson’s speciality was making ammunition out of nothing. Roy turned away, hoping Kimbley would lose interest, even though Roy knew better.
“Oh, of course you don’t.” Kimbley paced along behind him. “I suppose it would be hard to narrow down which one it was when you have so many.” Kimbley was close enough to touch Roy. His hand flashed out in a way that allowed Roy a view of that tattooed palm before it skinned over his neck. Roy flinched away. “You’re such a sweet little slut, aren’t you?”
Roy couldn’t help the shudder that tore through him. “Leave me alone, Zolf.” He ducked through the wooden frame into his tent. The slam of the flimsy door shook the canvas structure. What the hell did Kimbley want of him?”
“What did I say about that name?” Kimbley followed him inside, a muted fire in his dark eyes.
“Get out of my tent.” Roy pointed to the door, the ruby stone on his finger glinting.
“Is that anyway to talk to the man who gave you that ring?” Kimbley maneuvered Roy backwards.
Roy’s lips skinned back off his teeth, which felt gritty with soot. “You had nothing to do with the Philosopher Stone, Kimbley.”
“I’m the one they used to prove it works.” Kimbley grinned proudly, tapping his chest.
“Only because you’re the only one insane enough to want to be a test subject,” Roy shot back, pleased at the hurt expression on Kimbley’s face, a face much like his own; a Xinganese in the wood pile, the kids back home used to taunt him. “Now tell me what you want and get out of my tent.”
“So tense, so fast, maybe you need to get one of them in here to relax you, Flame. After all, we alchemists should be granted a few extra privileges.” The tip of Kimbley’s tongue flicked out, chasing over his upper lip. “I could use a little relaxing myself.”
“Out!” Roy lost what little patience he had with Kimbley’s prattling.
“Not until I say what I wanted to, like you asked me to.” Kimbley smirked, stepping closer. He backed Roy into his cot, which caught the small alchemist behind his knees. Roy flailed and Kimbley made sure he toppled. Before Roy could get his balance, Kimbley swarmed over him, straddling him. Kimbley’s backside brushed Roy’s crotch. “It’s quite simple really.”
Roy planted his hands in Kimbley’s chest pushing, regretting his glove was in his pocket. “Get off me!”
“Uh, uh uh.” Kimbley tightened his legs around Roy’s hips as his hands cupped Roy’s face. He could feel the warm band of Kimbley’s red stone ring. “You know what I can do with a touch.”
Roy’s eyes widened. Kimbley wouldn’t dare to hurt a fellow alchemist but the gleam in those dark eyes suggested a psychosis that wouldn’t care. Kimbley was so far off his leash, his masters had no prayer of making him ever heel again. Kimbley would hurt him; Roy knew that in an instant. “Get off me,” he reiterated, hoping the frisson of fear he felt wasn’t showing.
Kimbley’s hips brushed him lightly. “When I’m good and ready to...though by the end you might be reverse the order of two of those words.” He leered. “It’s boring here, Flame. You can’t trust those Ishbalan women to not knife you in the back if you try sampling them. They’re so full of grit and sand anyhow, they aren’t worth the fuck before you blow them up.”
Roy didn’t want to hear this, to have these ugly images planted in his head. He didn’t want to breath the air this man did. “You’re sick.”
“I figure you’re so open for business, you wouldn’t mind one more,” Kimbley continued as if Roy hadn’t interrupted him. Roy was too stunned to say anything. Kimbley slipped two fingers into Roy’s mouth. “Bet this pretty little mouth can work wonders.” He yanked his hand free before Roy could recover his senses enough to bite him.
Roy decided he didn’t care if Kimbley would try to explode him and shoved the slight man off of him. “Get out of here, Kimbley. I wouldn’t let you touch me even in your dreams.”
“Don’t be so sure of that.” Kimbley laughed, getting to his feet. “You’ll do it, Flame, when and where I want you or I’ll report you and your lovers. You might get off lightly but they won’t.”
“Who would take your word over ours?” Roy snarled back, too angry to be afraid for himself and his friends.
Kimbley wiggled his finger with the ring on it. “All those negotiations on being the first to test this...I spent a lot of time with a lot of generals. They know and trust me. Who do you know here, Mustang?” Roy’s face fell. Kimbley had him there and his evil smile said Crimson knew it. “My tent tonight, Flame or else. Bet you look good on your knees.” Kimbley laughed as he sailed out the door.
Roy just pulled his cloak tight around his body, shivering uncontrollably on his cot.
X X X
Roy avoided everyone, including Maes. Riza was on assignment, which was just as well. He hid his emotions from her even worse than he did from Maes. He had to skip dinner but he didn’t want Maes reading the conflict within him. Who knew what dangerous stunt Maes would try if he knew what Kimbley was up to? Roy couldn’t get them involved, even though he knew technically they were. What he did with Kimbley either protected them or sank them.
Finally, he had to leave his tent to pee. Roy made his way for home quickly, hoping no one would bother him. Something lurched out of the shadows, grabbing his arm. With a startled cry, Roy found himself pitching forward into a tent. The door shut sharply and in the dim light he could make out a slight form.
“And here I thought you’d forgotten me, Mustang. Waiting for the dead of night was a good idea.” Kimbley’s voice folded over him like silk.
Roy tried to get to his feet but Kimbley’s hands fastened onto his shoulders, keeping him on his knees. “I wasn’t coming here, Crimson. Now let me go.”
“You weren’t? How disappointing.” Kimbley’s fingers fisted in Roy’s hair, yanking it hard, tilting his head back. “What happens to that pretty little thing if she gets court-martialed? What about four-eyes?”
“They’ll take their chances,” Roy grated out, trying to ignore the erection pointed at him. Was it his imagination or did Kimbley look even more aroused by him fighting?
“Really? What if the upper brass decides to handle the little distractions buzzing around you by putting them right out there on the front lines instead of sniping from the shadows...and whatever the hell four-eyes does?” Kimbley brushed his tented pants over Roy’s mouth, in a mockery of the things Roy had done the night before. “Is sliding this down your throat really worse than that?”
Roy froze, unable to think, to move. He had imagined his lovers getting kicked out of the military. He wanted Riza out of here anyhow. Maes, well he could handle himself. Roy could not get them killed but he couldn’t do this either. He wasn’t going to whore himself out. If he had to, he’d confess to the generals before Kimbley could rat him out and plead for his friends to be sent home. Roy would promise the generals anything they might want him to do because he had heard ugly rumors of how he might be used, things that turned his stomach. He would accept that as his fate if Maes and Riza were spared.
“What’s the matter, Flame? What’s there to think about?” Kimbley smashed Roy’s face into his crotch, his erection bruising Roy’s lips. Roy didn’t know if he’d be able to get on his knees for any man any time soon after this.
Roy hooked his hands behind Kimbley’s ankles and jerked his feet out from under him. “Get off me,” he snarled as Kimbley smashed into the ground.
Roy tried to get up but Kimbley grabbed him. The men tussled, Roy trying to get an elbow back into that erection, knowing how much that would hurt, Kimbley trying to get both hands on Roy. An alarm screeched on out of tune trumpets. Both men froze, knowing the staccato blasts that meant the camp had been breeched. Their struggle forgotten, they both scrambled up and out into the darkness, neither of them willing to be caught by the Ishbalans. Roy could only imagine what they’d do to alchemists. Suddenly the war was back upon them but Roy knew he was fighting a two pronged battle. Kimbley knew he wasn’t going to capitulate and that Roy could theoretically get him in trouble for attempting to rape him. Roy felt very unsafe in the darkness.
X X X
Roy’s legs shook with fatigue. All he wanted was to go home and collapse. They had been up all night routing the Ishbalans who had stolen into camp to murder them in their beds. A part of him didn’t really blame them. This wasn’t war; it was annihilation. Roy’s tired eyes scanned the monotonous beiges of the desert, looking for more Ishbalan warriors to burn. He could do it now without feeling more than a twinge of sickness. It was the women and children he couldn’t turn on. It was wrong. Kimbley, he knew, had no such problems. He seemed to get off on all the destruction. Roy wondered distractedly where Crimson was. He didn’t want to lose track of him either or Roy might end up fighting to protect his body parts from a very unwanted invasion.
Roy licked his chapped, peeling lips. The sun was climbing and the heat becoming unbearable. A wind had picked up and the sand scoured his face. At least he still had his spats on over his boots to keep the sand out of them or he’d be so blistered he wouldn’t be able to walk. He glanced around for his own men. They never stuck close to him, afraid they’d get caught in a fire storm and just afraid of him in general. Roy tried to ignore the way men scurried away from him at the camp but it hurt deeply. He never wanted to be feared. Maybe this isolation was what had broken Teacher’s mind. Had he been feared, too?
Roy’s patch of the desert was apparently very lonely. Had Riza been close enough to hear the alarm and come back to camp? Was she watching him now? He couldn’t tell. Roy’s heart raced, his fingers pinching tight. He heard something scrabbling over the rock and sand. Roy snarled, seeing it was Kimbley. This was his chance to get out from under it all. Kimbley could die in a firestorm and no one would even be able to identify his remains when Roy was done with him.
His stomach knotted, nearly turning inside out. What was he thinking? Was he actually contemplating cold bloodedly killing a man to protect himself? Hawkeye was right. He was a murderer. Roy gagged.
Kimbley’s dark eyes lit up. “Thinking of burning me, Flame?” he asked cheerily.
To his surprise, Roy’s only response was to tense his fingers, kicking up unused sparks. He wanted to do it. With one snap he’d protect himself, Maes, and Riza. No one would miss Kimbley. No one liked the freak and Kimbley had tried to rape him. Why should he care?
Kimbley’s face twisted in sick delight. “Oh, you really are. Well, let’s have a go then, Flame? Let’s see which of us is better.” Kimbley’s palms glowed.
A shot ricocheted off the rock, startling both men. A band of children, none older than ten, came out from behind a rock formation. Two kids held weapons so big they could barely lift them, let alone aim.
Kimbley laughed. “Of course we should handle them first.” He extended his glowing hands.
“No!” Roy slammed into Kimbley, knocking him into the rocks. “They’re kids!”
“Who gives a fuck? They’re the enemy,” Kimbley argued, righting himself.
Roy punched him hard then turned to the kids. “Go! Get out of here! Run!” One of them took a shot at him. Roy winged fire alongside their flank. “Please, just run. I don’t want to kill you.”
The kids took off. Kimbley kicked Roy’s feet out form under him. Falling on the rocks knocked the breath out of Roy. His head cracked against a stone, making Roy’s vision dance. Kimbley loomed over him. “You are mine totally now, Mustang. You’re going to give me everything I want or I will see to it you’re courtmartialed as a traitor. They’ll probably execute you.”
Roy couldn’t breathe. Words were beyond him. Blood trickled down his neck from where the sharp rock had slit open his scalp.
Kimbley’s palms glowed again. “I think I’ll start with a few screams from you.”
The cocking of guns sounded thunderous. Roy looked over his shoulder and saw his men finally caught up to him. “Back off, sir,” one of them said timidly to Kimbley.
The Crimson Alchemist glared, realizing he had a choice, keep Roy’s secret and have to explain his own actions, or look like a hero. He naturally chose the latter. “Arrest Major Mustang. He aided and abetted the enemy.”
The non-commissioned soldier looked between the two alchemists, confused. He looked to his fellow ‘normal’ soldiers and found no help there. “I find that hard to believe, sir.”
Kimbley whipped around, hearing more soldiers arriving behind him. Roy saw they were Crimson’s attache of men who didn’t seem to want to be any closer to Kimbley than Roy’s men did to him. “You there, help me take Mustang into custody. He let the enemy escape and tried to kill me,” he said imperiously.
“I did not,” Roy rasped out, hoping his lie was more convincing than Kimbley’s truth.
His men looked as surprised as Roy’s. The oldest of them, a woman missing her front teeth, scowled. “Sir, we didn’t witness that. Maybe it would be for the best that the alchemists not fight among themselves.”
Kimbley’s lips skinned back. “Useless, you’re all useless. I will not tolerate such worthlessness.” Kimbley’s hands slapped ground and the resulting shockwave caused his entire attache to blow up into bloody, stinking bits. Roy was very glad his stomach was empty. Kimbley whipped around. “Guess I have to take care of all these damn witnesses now.”
Before Kimbley could bring his glowing hands to bear, the ground shook hard. Rocks tumbled. Kimbley was taken off his feet. Armstrong came into view, his face grim. “Are you all right, Flame?”
“We have to keep him from putting his arrays together!” Roy screamed, pointing at Kimbley who was trying to get his senses back. Armstrong snatched up one of Kimbley’s wrists, separating the man’s shoulder as he hauled him up. Roy grabbed the other wrist as Kimbley thrashed and screamed. “I think this is where your talent with rock can come into play, Alexis Louis.”
“Gladly.” Armstrong seemed to take a dark satisfaction in fashioning stone manacles that completely encased Kimbley’s hands so he couldn’t put the two arrays together.
Roy leaned down and whispered into Kimbley’s ear, “Who’s going to fuck over who now?”
“This isn’t over, Flame!” Kimbley growled, his face infused with blood.
“You killed your own men, Zolf. It’s over,” Roy said, letting Armstrong muscle Kimbley back towards camp. Please, let it all be over. Roy looked back at the path the children had taken. At least he could go to bed knowing he hadn’t killed them. What he wanted now was someone to hold onto him and tell him everything would be all right. He knew it was a lie but he wanted to hear it anyhow. He took Kimbley’s other arm and helped Armstrong drag him back. Maybe at least he could salvage his own career and take Kimbley down for good without exposing himself and his lovers.
X X X
“Roy, what in the hell is going on?” Maes banged his way into Roy’s tent just as the alchemist returned after long hours being questioned by various generals.
Roy’s sleep-deprived, swollen eyes blurrily fixed on his friend, his face going paste pale. “You can’t be here, Hughes,” he growled, bringing Maes up short.
“What’s wrong?” Maes dropped his voice to the barest of whispers. “You look like hell. I heard you and Strongarm brought Crimson in, in cuffs. Did he really kill his men?”
Roy sagged onto his cot, not having slept in nearly a day. His body shook with fatigue and it took a moment to rally enough to nod.
“Why?” Maes sat next to him.
Roy wanted to shoo his friend away, worried that the generals might have someone watching. It was probably too soon for that and Roy needed comfort. He rested his cheek on Maes’ shoulder. “Because he was disgusted that they refused to take me into custody for attempting to kill him and for helping some Ishbalan kids escape.”
Maes’ eyes widened behind his dirty lenses. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I’m just lucky Kimbley lost it...isn’t that awful? I’m actually almost relieved he killed those men.” A bitter sound like an inside-out laugh bubbled out of him.
Maes shifted, catching Roy by the shoulders. “Roy? What are you saying?”
Roy couldn’t look at him. What would his lover think of him? “That Kimbley’s not lying, for all the good it does him now.”
“What part of it’s true?” Maes voice sounds so tight Roy braced for the snap.
“I couldn’t kill them, Maes. They were children, barely more than babies. I couldn’t burn them.” Tears pricked at Roy’s eyes. “I’m not that much of a monster yet.”
Maes’ fingers dug into Roy’s shoulders. “And the part about killing him?”
Roy’s eyes came up to meet his. Maes looked so deadly serious, Roy couldn’t keep his gaze on him. “I had no choice.”
Maes gave him such a stunned look that it broke Roy’s heart to have his friend look at him like that. “What are you talking about, Roy?”
“Kimbley’s been after me. It’s worse than you’ve seen...he knows or at least guessed about us and about me and Riza. He threatened to expose us if I didn’t...he wanted to use me.” Roy’s voice broke. He tried to wet his heat-ruined lips but couldn’t. “I told him go ahead, tell the generals about my fraternization. We can all live without this shit just fine...but he promised to have you and Riza used as cannon fodder.”
“Damn...Roy?” Maes’ grip shifted from harsh to a soothing stroke over Roy’s upper arms. Roy sagged bonelessly against him. He was just so tired and this was so draining.
“Kimbley’s tight enough with a lot of important Brass...he could have done it. I didn’t know what to do after he told me that. He took my hesitation.” Roy pulled away from his friend, looking away, ashamed. “He tried to rape me, Maes.”
“He what?” Maes grated out, his voice sharper than his knives.
“If the alarm hadn’t sounded, there probably would have been one hell of an alchemic battle right here,” Roy said, shivering. “Then I caught Kimbley alone out there and all I could think of was ‘if I get rid of him, my problem would be solved.’ I know it was stupid.”
Maes looped an arm around Roy, burying his fingers in his hair. They came away dusted with rusty powder. “You were bleeding.”
“He made me hit my head,” Roy murmured, relaxing into Maes’ touch.
“He can’t hurt you any more, buddy,” Maes said softly, patting his back.
Roy shook his head. “He might. I don’t think they could ignore what Kimbley’s done but still, he’s telling anyone who’ll listen about me. That’s why I said you can’t be here. They might send Kimbley off to jail for what he’s done but they will probably still investigate his claims. We can’t risk that.”
Maes slipped past Roy’s defenses and kissed him greedily until their bodies screamed with the need to breathe. “Stocking up until the brass realize they have better things to do. Lie back and try to sleep, Roy. You look like hell.”
“I feel it.” Roy complied with Maes’ directions.
Maes took off his friend’s boots and covered him up. “Get some rest, and Roy, if you had done what you were planning - and we’ll never speak of it again - I wouldn’t have blamed you.”
“Thanks,” Roy mumbled into his pillow. He was barely aware Maes had left. Roy tumbled into sleep haunted by thoughts of his own deadly intentions and wondering if he’d ever truly feel safe again.
An Uncharted Series Story (story #3)
D M Evans
Disclaimer - I don’t own them. all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition. I don’t make a profit
Rating - NC-17
Time Line - During Ishbal, manga verse (note the series was started before all the details of chapter 59 came out. There is an assumption of the series that Maes, Riza and Roy were all dispatched to the war at the same time) contains spoilers from 57-59
Pairing - Maes/Roy, implied Roy/Riza, with lots of unwanted attention from Kimbley
Summary - Kimbley makes Roy a very ugly offer as his price for not informing Military Command that Roy is fraternizing with two junior officers.
Author’s Note - Warning- There are themes of sexual coercion in this and attempted nonconsensual sex but neither are NC-17 explicit but you should be aware they exist.
Author’s Note #2 - Written for the
fullservicefma’s May challenge “shadow”. Thanks to evil_little_dog and mjules for the beta.Author’s Note #3 While part of a series, each story is a stand alone. All you need to know is it’s set in Ishbal and Maes and Roy have started a relationship (their relationships to Gracia and Riza are also in play). You can find the other stories, if you’d like to see them here.
Ashes and Flame by me and
More than Alive by
mjulesIt is the middle ground between light and shadow - Rod Sterling
A dark, shadowless night was often to a soldier’s advantage; it certainly was tonight. Roy and Maes had been sure not to have any lights burning in Roy’s private tent, no telltale shadows for them. Roy didn’t know how he had come to this place in his life. He had arrived in Ishbal already carrying a bushelful of secrets in the form of his relationship with Riza. The upper brass wouldn’t care that they had known each other most of their lives and that they had fallen before enlisting. Rules were rules; you didn’t fraternize.
So what would the brass make of what was happening between him and Hughes? Nothing good. Roy hadn’t told Hawkeye that she was now sharing him. He wasn’t sure she’d understand. He wasn’t sure that he understood but after the first firestorm he had created, nothing had been the same.
Would Hawkeye understand that he hadn’t turned to her in pain because he just couldn’t handle being weak in front of the woman he loved? She already couldn’t accept what he had done with her father’s teachings, with the array she had given him. He suspected his pain would only make matters worse. He hadn’t meant to open up to Maes, either. Maes had made him. Roy hadn’t known his depth of feeling for Hughes. He’d never been attracted to men. Sometimes in the back of his mind, he wondered what he was doing as he was kissing Maes. All Roy knew was he was suddenly in love with his two best friends and it was a mess, a pleasurable mess.
“Roy, is something wrong?” Maes asked softly, his hand running through Roy’s hair in a way that made Roy just want to sit at his friend’s feet and be petted all night. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
The concern in Maes’ voice was like a security blanket. Roy rested his forehead on Maes’ thigh for just a moment, grateful that his friend cared this much for him. Roy knew Maes wanted him to do this but he was willing to set aside his desires if Roy wasn’t ready. That was what made Roy trust Maes so much. He couldn’t ever have imagined himself preparing to love on a man like this but Maes’ warm care was so reassuring it drove out most of Roy’s doubts. “Sorry, just flashing back to the firestorm,” Roy murmured, shifting on his knees where he knelt before Maes sitting on the bed.
Maes caught his chin, tipping his face up. “If you’re in that frame of mind, Roy, you don’t need to even be thinking of trying this. We can just talk. You probably need that more than anything.”
“I need to be loved, to keep me away from that bad place.” Roy twisted so he could suck Maes’ fingers. He needed Maes to understand he wanted to be here with him like this. He needed to not think about the horrible things he was doing. If Maes could love on him, then maybe he really wasn’t a monster. That’s what he needed most, to believe he wasn’t a fiend.
“If you’re sure,” Maes fretted, his erection starting to soften as worry overtook lust.
Roy just made a low sound in the back of his throat as he reached out and stroked Maes’ half erect cock. He didn’t want to talk tonight. He wanted to fuck and forget. Roy shoved his dark mental state aside. He didn’t want to do this while angry, either. It was strange enough without that.
Roy wanted to move in a new direction with their relationship now that there was no question there was one. They agreed that they weren’t outfitted for some types of exploration but others were easier and no less pleasurable, or so he hoped.
Now, darkness rising quelled, all Roy needed was to get over his shyness. He had never thought once in his life about sucking on a man and now he both wanted to and was afraid to. What would this taste like? What would Maes think of him afterwards? He fisted Maes’ cock as he worked up the nerve to plant a kiss on the tip of it. Maes’ penis twitched as Roy pressed his lips against it; salty, moist, and warm. It was trickier than Roy realized to roll his lips and tongue over his teeth. Blow jobs that were nothing but teeth were painful and not fun. He had always expected his girlfriends to be able to do it without a hitch, apparently he was a demanding bastard.
He wasn’t sure he could do this. What if he messed up? Roy couldn’t look at Maes as the man’s hand skimmed over his shoulders, his touch hot. Was he getting impatient? Would he tell Roy if he was doing it wrong? What made him think he was ready for this?
Roy curled his tongue around Maes’ cock, sliding him in a little, still a little surprised at the meaty saltiness of it. Roy managed to find a shallow rhythm with Maes susurrating encouragement. He took a peek up. Maes’ eyes were closed, his head back. Maybe he was enjoying this. Trying to go deeper, Roy almost gagged himself. Maes flinched. Roy didn’t have to look up to know there would be a worried expression on Maes’ face. His lover murmured his name, concern ladening the solitary word. Getting this right really was tricker than Roy thought it should be. He wanted this to be good, to mean something. He tensed, feeling like a failure.
He was determined not to disappoint Maes, though from the soft, contented sounds Maes was making, Roy wasn’t sure he was. Since when was a lack of confidence his problem? Apparently from the moment he thought he knew how to go down on a man. Roy managed to slide Maes deeper into this throat finally, learning how to breathe through his nose. Roy moaned around him as Maes buried his fingers in Roy’s hair, massaging his scalp, trailing them over the base of Roy’s skull. Maes strong fingers danced deftly over Roy’s shoulders. Roy mewled, his testicles feeling so heavy, so tight he was afraid he’d come immediately if Maes didn’t stop.
“Roy, I’m going to...” Maes warned, trying to ease Roy back, pulling free of Roy’s lips.
“Okay,” Roy said, giving Maes’ cock a last greedy tickle with his tongue, pleased that he had actually brought Maes to this point. He reared back as Maes spilled, catching Roy over the lips, chin and eye. Tasting the musk on his lips, Roy sat back, wiping his eye.
Maes patted his head, a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry, buddy.”
“I’m not very good at this,” Roy said ruefully, giving voice to all his pent up worries.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Maes smiled gently, his fingers rubbing deep into the tense muscles of Roy’s shoulders. “Your problem is that you want to be perfect from the first try. I’d think you’d be easier on yourself.” Maes leaned down, kissing Roy’s sticky lips as he drew the smaller man up on the narrow cot with him.
Roy moved over Maes, slowly rubbing his hot, quivering flesh over Maes’ taut belly. “I have high standards,” Roy murmured, honest and yet pleased with himself at the same time.
“I know.” Maes tapped his tongue over Roy’s pulse point. “I’ll try next time.”
Roy just rumbled softly, his hips falling into a rhythm guaranteed to bring sweet release very soon. Maes quieted, his hands and lips seeming to be everywhere over Roy’s back and face. There was no doubting Maes liked what he was doing now. He knew he had this down right. Roy bucked, swallowing back his cry of release, hot fluid spurting between their stomachs. Maes’ arms wrapped around Roy tightly. Roy tucked his cheek against Maes’ shoulder. Roy wanted to tell Maes how he was feeling. He needed his friend to understand that he was hopelessly in over his head, drowning in emotions. Instead, all he did was snuggle in tighter, soaking up every nuance of Maes’ touch.
“I never want to move,” Roy whispered, shocked at the bold honesty of his words.
Maes’ grip tightened, his lips finding Roy’s, gentle and undemanding. “Wish you didn’t have to.”
The men stole more moments together before finally getting up and cleaning off their sweating, sticky bodies. Roy watched as Maes dressed and headed towards the door. His throat constricted. He wanted Maes to stay. It was insane and yet Roy wanted it. He just wanted away from this place and to be allowed the things he could have if Roy were anyone else.
“I wish...” Roy shook his head. He couldn’t say it yet. He wasn’t ready for ‘I love you, yet.’ “I’ll see you at breakfast, Maes.”
“Nothing like a meal you have to pick the sand out of before you can eat it.” Maes grinned. Roy could see the undercurrent of emotion running through his friend, hiding behind the grin. He suspected Maes wanted to say something more as well but this wasn’t the place. It was all too new for them still. Neither of them were very sure of where they stood. “Good night, Roy.”
“Good night.”
Roy lay back on the bed, wishing for company in it to help fend off the demons that visited him at night. There was no one and he feared that as long as his heart loved like it did, he was destined for loving in secret and sleeping alone.
X X X
Roy splashed some water on his face. The water seemed somehow brackish and utterly inadequate to the task of removing the stench of burnt flesh from his skin. Roy clenched his jaw as a memory floated up of the men running around on fire, their flesh melting like wax. He wished, not for the first time, that he had never seen Riza shirtless. This was what Teacher had feared would happen. Roy had never thought that it would come to this, that he’d become a murderer. The worst thing he had ever heard in his life was Riza asking him how he managed to twist his alchemy into this monstrosity. The look of agony in her eyes, a reflection of his own buried pain, gutted him.
Roy stiffened, hands over eyes, water dripping down his face as someone tickled his fingers up Roy’s spine. Neither Maes nor Riza would be that familiar in public. Even without turning around Roy was fairly sure he might know who it was. A quick look over his shoulder proved it. Roy pulled away, wiping his face. “What do you want, Zolf?”
Kimbley lost his snake’s smile. “Don’t call me that.”
Roy smiled. He now had a little thing he could prick Kimbley with. “The question stands.”
“Just that you looked real good out there today, Flame.” Kimbley moved in closer, invading Roy’s space. He came close to touching Roy but didn’t, though it was enough to make Roy’s hair stand on end. “You must be happy or really pissed. Which of your lovers did that for you?” Kimbley’s snaky smile slithered farther across his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Roy hoped his face didn’t betray him as he pulled back from the Crimson Alchemist. Kimbley kept insinuating he knew something but Roy didn’t know if Kimbley had any proof. If he did, they could be in real trouble with the military. He was very determined not to give Kimbley any ammunition but Crimson’s speciality was making ammunition out of nothing. Roy turned away, hoping Kimbley would lose interest, even though Roy knew better.
“Oh, of course you don’t.” Kimbley paced along behind him. “I suppose it would be hard to narrow down which one it was when you have so many.” Kimbley was close enough to touch Roy. His hand flashed out in a way that allowed Roy a view of that tattooed palm before it skinned over his neck. Roy flinched away. “You’re such a sweet little slut, aren’t you?”
Roy couldn’t help the shudder that tore through him. “Leave me alone, Zolf.” He ducked through the wooden frame into his tent. The slam of the flimsy door shook the canvas structure. What the hell did Kimbley want of him?”
“What did I say about that name?” Kimbley followed him inside, a muted fire in his dark eyes.
“Get out of my tent.” Roy pointed to the door, the ruby stone on his finger glinting.
“Is that anyway to talk to the man who gave you that ring?” Kimbley maneuvered Roy backwards.
Roy’s lips skinned back off his teeth, which felt gritty with soot. “You had nothing to do with the Philosopher Stone, Kimbley.”
“I’m the one they used to prove it works.” Kimbley grinned proudly, tapping his chest.
“Only because you’re the only one insane enough to want to be a test subject,” Roy shot back, pleased at the hurt expression on Kimbley’s face, a face much like his own; a Xinganese in the wood pile, the kids back home used to taunt him. “Now tell me what you want and get out of my tent.”
“So tense, so fast, maybe you need to get one of them in here to relax you, Flame. After all, we alchemists should be granted a few extra privileges.” The tip of Kimbley’s tongue flicked out, chasing over his upper lip. “I could use a little relaxing myself.”
“Out!” Roy lost what little patience he had with Kimbley’s prattling.
“Not until I say what I wanted to, like you asked me to.” Kimbley smirked, stepping closer. He backed Roy into his cot, which caught the small alchemist behind his knees. Roy flailed and Kimbley made sure he toppled. Before Roy could get his balance, Kimbley swarmed over him, straddling him. Kimbley’s backside brushed Roy’s crotch. “It’s quite simple really.”
Roy planted his hands in Kimbley’s chest pushing, regretting his glove was in his pocket. “Get off me!”
“Uh, uh uh.” Kimbley tightened his legs around Roy’s hips as his hands cupped Roy’s face. He could feel the warm band of Kimbley’s red stone ring. “You know what I can do with a touch.”
Roy’s eyes widened. Kimbley wouldn’t dare to hurt a fellow alchemist but the gleam in those dark eyes suggested a psychosis that wouldn’t care. Kimbley was so far off his leash, his masters had no prayer of making him ever heel again. Kimbley would hurt him; Roy knew that in an instant. “Get off me,” he reiterated, hoping the frisson of fear he felt wasn’t showing.
Kimbley’s hips brushed him lightly. “When I’m good and ready to...though by the end you might be reverse the order of two of those words.” He leered. “It’s boring here, Flame. You can’t trust those Ishbalan women to not knife you in the back if you try sampling them. They’re so full of grit and sand anyhow, they aren’t worth the fuck before you blow them up.”
Roy didn’t want to hear this, to have these ugly images planted in his head. He didn’t want to breath the air this man did. “You’re sick.”
“I figure you’re so open for business, you wouldn’t mind one more,” Kimbley continued as if Roy hadn’t interrupted him. Roy was too stunned to say anything. Kimbley slipped two fingers into Roy’s mouth. “Bet this pretty little mouth can work wonders.” He yanked his hand free before Roy could recover his senses enough to bite him.
Roy decided he didn’t care if Kimbley would try to explode him and shoved the slight man off of him. “Get out of here, Kimbley. I wouldn’t let you touch me even in your dreams.”
“Don’t be so sure of that.” Kimbley laughed, getting to his feet. “You’ll do it, Flame, when and where I want you or I’ll report you and your lovers. You might get off lightly but they won’t.”
“Who would take your word over ours?” Roy snarled back, too angry to be afraid for himself and his friends.
Kimbley wiggled his finger with the ring on it. “All those negotiations on being the first to test this...I spent a lot of time with a lot of generals. They know and trust me. Who do you know here, Mustang?” Roy’s face fell. Kimbley had him there and his evil smile said Crimson knew it. “My tent tonight, Flame or else. Bet you look good on your knees.” Kimbley laughed as he sailed out the door.
Roy just pulled his cloak tight around his body, shivering uncontrollably on his cot.
X X X
Roy avoided everyone, including Maes. Riza was on assignment, which was just as well. He hid his emotions from her even worse than he did from Maes. He had to skip dinner but he didn’t want Maes reading the conflict within him. Who knew what dangerous stunt Maes would try if he knew what Kimbley was up to? Roy couldn’t get them involved, even though he knew technically they were. What he did with Kimbley either protected them or sank them.
Finally, he had to leave his tent to pee. Roy made his way for home quickly, hoping no one would bother him. Something lurched out of the shadows, grabbing his arm. With a startled cry, Roy found himself pitching forward into a tent. The door shut sharply and in the dim light he could make out a slight form.
“And here I thought you’d forgotten me, Mustang. Waiting for the dead of night was a good idea.” Kimbley’s voice folded over him like silk.
Roy tried to get to his feet but Kimbley’s hands fastened onto his shoulders, keeping him on his knees. “I wasn’t coming here, Crimson. Now let me go.”
“You weren’t? How disappointing.” Kimbley’s fingers fisted in Roy’s hair, yanking it hard, tilting his head back. “What happens to that pretty little thing if she gets court-martialed? What about four-eyes?”
“They’ll take their chances,” Roy grated out, trying to ignore the erection pointed at him. Was it his imagination or did Kimbley look even more aroused by him fighting?
“Really? What if the upper brass decides to handle the little distractions buzzing around you by putting them right out there on the front lines instead of sniping from the shadows...and whatever the hell four-eyes does?” Kimbley brushed his tented pants over Roy’s mouth, in a mockery of the things Roy had done the night before. “Is sliding this down your throat really worse than that?”
Roy froze, unable to think, to move. He had imagined his lovers getting kicked out of the military. He wanted Riza out of here anyhow. Maes, well he could handle himself. Roy could not get them killed but he couldn’t do this either. He wasn’t going to whore himself out. If he had to, he’d confess to the generals before Kimbley could rat him out and plead for his friends to be sent home. Roy would promise the generals anything they might want him to do because he had heard ugly rumors of how he might be used, things that turned his stomach. He would accept that as his fate if Maes and Riza were spared.
“What’s the matter, Flame? What’s there to think about?” Kimbley smashed Roy’s face into his crotch, his erection bruising Roy’s lips. Roy didn’t know if he’d be able to get on his knees for any man any time soon after this.
Roy hooked his hands behind Kimbley’s ankles and jerked his feet out from under him. “Get off me,” he snarled as Kimbley smashed into the ground.
Roy tried to get up but Kimbley grabbed him. The men tussled, Roy trying to get an elbow back into that erection, knowing how much that would hurt, Kimbley trying to get both hands on Roy. An alarm screeched on out of tune trumpets. Both men froze, knowing the staccato blasts that meant the camp had been breeched. Their struggle forgotten, they both scrambled up and out into the darkness, neither of them willing to be caught by the Ishbalans. Roy could only imagine what they’d do to alchemists. Suddenly the war was back upon them but Roy knew he was fighting a two pronged battle. Kimbley knew he wasn’t going to capitulate and that Roy could theoretically get him in trouble for attempting to rape him. Roy felt very unsafe in the darkness.
X X X
Roy’s legs shook with fatigue. All he wanted was to go home and collapse. They had been up all night routing the Ishbalans who had stolen into camp to murder them in their beds. A part of him didn’t really blame them. This wasn’t war; it was annihilation. Roy’s tired eyes scanned the monotonous beiges of the desert, looking for more Ishbalan warriors to burn. He could do it now without feeling more than a twinge of sickness. It was the women and children he couldn’t turn on. It was wrong. Kimbley, he knew, had no such problems. He seemed to get off on all the destruction. Roy wondered distractedly where Crimson was. He didn’t want to lose track of him either or Roy might end up fighting to protect his body parts from a very unwanted invasion.
Roy licked his chapped, peeling lips. The sun was climbing and the heat becoming unbearable. A wind had picked up and the sand scoured his face. At least he still had his spats on over his boots to keep the sand out of them or he’d be so blistered he wouldn’t be able to walk. He glanced around for his own men. They never stuck close to him, afraid they’d get caught in a fire storm and just afraid of him in general. Roy tried to ignore the way men scurried away from him at the camp but it hurt deeply. He never wanted to be feared. Maybe this isolation was what had broken Teacher’s mind. Had he been feared, too?
Roy’s patch of the desert was apparently very lonely. Had Riza been close enough to hear the alarm and come back to camp? Was she watching him now? He couldn’t tell. Roy’s heart raced, his fingers pinching tight. He heard something scrabbling over the rock and sand. Roy snarled, seeing it was Kimbley. This was his chance to get out from under it all. Kimbley could die in a firestorm and no one would even be able to identify his remains when Roy was done with him.
His stomach knotted, nearly turning inside out. What was he thinking? Was he actually contemplating cold bloodedly killing a man to protect himself? Hawkeye was right. He was a murderer. Roy gagged.
Kimbley’s dark eyes lit up. “Thinking of burning me, Flame?” he asked cheerily.
To his surprise, Roy’s only response was to tense his fingers, kicking up unused sparks. He wanted to do it. With one snap he’d protect himself, Maes, and Riza. No one would miss Kimbley. No one liked the freak and Kimbley had tried to rape him. Why should he care?
Kimbley’s face twisted in sick delight. “Oh, you really are. Well, let’s have a go then, Flame? Let’s see which of us is better.” Kimbley’s palms glowed.
A shot ricocheted off the rock, startling both men. A band of children, none older than ten, came out from behind a rock formation. Two kids held weapons so big they could barely lift them, let alone aim.
Kimbley laughed. “Of course we should handle them first.” He extended his glowing hands.
“No!” Roy slammed into Kimbley, knocking him into the rocks. “They’re kids!”
“Who gives a fuck? They’re the enemy,” Kimbley argued, righting himself.
Roy punched him hard then turned to the kids. “Go! Get out of here! Run!” One of them took a shot at him. Roy winged fire alongside their flank. “Please, just run. I don’t want to kill you.”
The kids took off. Kimbley kicked Roy’s feet out form under him. Falling on the rocks knocked the breath out of Roy. His head cracked against a stone, making Roy’s vision dance. Kimbley loomed over him. “You are mine totally now, Mustang. You’re going to give me everything I want or I will see to it you’re courtmartialed as a traitor. They’ll probably execute you.”
Roy couldn’t breathe. Words were beyond him. Blood trickled down his neck from where the sharp rock had slit open his scalp.
Kimbley’s palms glowed again. “I think I’ll start with a few screams from you.”
The cocking of guns sounded thunderous. Roy looked over his shoulder and saw his men finally caught up to him. “Back off, sir,” one of them said timidly to Kimbley.
The Crimson Alchemist glared, realizing he had a choice, keep Roy’s secret and have to explain his own actions, or look like a hero. He naturally chose the latter. “Arrest Major Mustang. He aided and abetted the enemy.”
The non-commissioned soldier looked between the two alchemists, confused. He looked to his fellow ‘normal’ soldiers and found no help there. “I find that hard to believe, sir.”
Kimbley whipped around, hearing more soldiers arriving behind him. Roy saw they were Crimson’s attache of men who didn’t seem to want to be any closer to Kimbley than Roy’s men did to him. “You there, help me take Mustang into custody. He let the enemy escape and tried to kill me,” he said imperiously.
“I did not,” Roy rasped out, hoping his lie was more convincing than Kimbley’s truth.
His men looked as surprised as Roy’s. The oldest of them, a woman missing her front teeth, scowled. “Sir, we didn’t witness that. Maybe it would be for the best that the alchemists not fight among themselves.”
Kimbley’s lips skinned back. “Useless, you’re all useless. I will not tolerate such worthlessness.” Kimbley’s hands slapped ground and the resulting shockwave caused his entire attache to blow up into bloody, stinking bits. Roy was very glad his stomach was empty. Kimbley whipped around. “Guess I have to take care of all these damn witnesses now.”
Before Kimbley could bring his glowing hands to bear, the ground shook hard. Rocks tumbled. Kimbley was taken off his feet. Armstrong came into view, his face grim. “Are you all right, Flame?”
“We have to keep him from putting his arrays together!” Roy screamed, pointing at Kimbley who was trying to get his senses back. Armstrong snatched up one of Kimbley’s wrists, separating the man’s shoulder as he hauled him up. Roy grabbed the other wrist as Kimbley thrashed and screamed. “I think this is where your talent with rock can come into play, Alexis Louis.”
“Gladly.” Armstrong seemed to take a dark satisfaction in fashioning stone manacles that completely encased Kimbley’s hands so he couldn’t put the two arrays together.
Roy leaned down and whispered into Kimbley’s ear, “Who’s going to fuck over who now?”
“This isn’t over, Flame!” Kimbley growled, his face infused with blood.
“You killed your own men, Zolf. It’s over,” Roy said, letting Armstrong muscle Kimbley back towards camp. Please, let it all be over. Roy looked back at the path the children had taken. At least he could go to bed knowing he hadn’t killed them. What he wanted now was someone to hold onto him and tell him everything would be all right. He knew it was a lie but he wanted to hear it anyhow. He took Kimbley’s other arm and helped Armstrong drag him back. Maybe at least he could salvage his own career and take Kimbley down for good without exposing himself and his lovers.
X X X
“Roy, what in the hell is going on?” Maes banged his way into Roy’s tent just as the alchemist returned after long hours being questioned by various generals.
Roy’s sleep-deprived, swollen eyes blurrily fixed on his friend, his face going paste pale. “You can’t be here, Hughes,” he growled, bringing Maes up short.
“What’s wrong?” Maes dropped his voice to the barest of whispers. “You look like hell. I heard you and Strongarm brought Crimson in, in cuffs. Did he really kill his men?”
Roy sagged onto his cot, not having slept in nearly a day. His body shook with fatigue and it took a moment to rally enough to nod.
“Why?” Maes sat next to him.
Roy wanted to shoo his friend away, worried that the generals might have someone watching. It was probably too soon for that and Roy needed comfort. He rested his cheek on Maes’ shoulder. “Because he was disgusted that they refused to take me into custody for attempting to kill him and for helping some Ishbalan kids escape.”
Maes’ eyes widened behind his dirty lenses. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I’m just lucky Kimbley lost it...isn’t that awful? I’m actually almost relieved he killed those men.” A bitter sound like an inside-out laugh bubbled out of him.
Maes shifted, catching Roy by the shoulders. “Roy? What are you saying?”
Roy couldn’t look at him. What would his lover think of him? “That Kimbley’s not lying, for all the good it does him now.”
“What part of it’s true?” Maes voice sounds so tight Roy braced for the snap.
“I couldn’t kill them, Maes. They were children, barely more than babies. I couldn’t burn them.” Tears pricked at Roy’s eyes. “I’m not that much of a monster yet.”
Maes’ fingers dug into Roy’s shoulders. “And the part about killing him?”
Roy’s eyes came up to meet his. Maes looked so deadly serious, Roy couldn’t keep his gaze on him. “I had no choice.”
Maes gave him such a stunned look that it broke Roy’s heart to have his friend look at him like that. “What are you talking about, Roy?”
“Kimbley’s been after me. It’s worse than you’ve seen...he knows or at least guessed about us and about me and Riza. He threatened to expose us if I didn’t...he wanted to use me.” Roy’s voice broke. He tried to wet his heat-ruined lips but couldn’t. “I told him go ahead, tell the generals about my fraternization. We can all live without this shit just fine...but he promised to have you and Riza used as cannon fodder.”
“Damn...Roy?” Maes’ grip shifted from harsh to a soothing stroke over Roy’s upper arms. Roy sagged bonelessly against him. He was just so tired and this was so draining.
“Kimbley’s tight enough with a lot of important Brass...he could have done it. I didn’t know what to do after he told me that. He took my hesitation.” Roy pulled away from his friend, looking away, ashamed. “He tried to rape me, Maes.”
“He what?” Maes grated out, his voice sharper than his knives.
“If the alarm hadn’t sounded, there probably would have been one hell of an alchemic battle right here,” Roy said, shivering. “Then I caught Kimbley alone out there and all I could think of was ‘if I get rid of him, my problem would be solved.’ I know it was stupid.”
Maes looped an arm around Roy, burying his fingers in his hair. They came away dusted with rusty powder. “You were bleeding.”
“He made me hit my head,” Roy murmured, relaxing into Maes’ touch.
“He can’t hurt you any more, buddy,” Maes said softly, patting his back.
Roy shook his head. “He might. I don’t think they could ignore what Kimbley’s done but still, he’s telling anyone who’ll listen about me. That’s why I said you can’t be here. They might send Kimbley off to jail for what he’s done but they will probably still investigate his claims. We can’t risk that.”
Maes slipped past Roy’s defenses and kissed him greedily until their bodies screamed with the need to breathe. “Stocking up until the brass realize they have better things to do. Lie back and try to sleep, Roy. You look like hell.”
“I feel it.” Roy complied with Maes’ directions.
Maes took off his friend’s boots and covered him up. “Get some rest, and Roy, if you had done what you were planning - and we’ll never speak of it again - I wouldn’t have blamed you.”
“Thanks,” Roy mumbled into his pillow. He was barely aware Maes had left. Roy tumbled into sleep haunted by thoughts of his own deadly intentions and wondering if he’d ever truly feel safe again.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 07:04 pm (UTC)Are you going to continue on with their story after Ishbal?
Once again thanks!!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 02:42 pm (UTC)