Two more 5 things
Sep. 17th, 2006 11:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessThese turned out shorter than some of the others but I'm not unhappy with them.
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scribesds 5 things Angel wished he had given Buffy
1. Sunlight
Sometimes it was hard to think about the good things he had given Buffy. It was so much easier to concentrate on the negative things. But one thing Angel had desperately wanted to give her was one thing he hadn’t; days in the sun on the beach. He should have done it. He even had the ability to do so. The Ring of Amarra had been on his finger and he chose duty over his heart. Buffy would only ever see him in moonlight.
2. Vacations
Angel had always wanted to give Buffy the grand tour of Ireland. Maybe that was hokey. Maybe it was romantic. He never could tell. Angel had planned it all in his head; tours of Cork, kissing the Blarney Stone like tourists, pub crawling, dancing to fiddle music, maybe even showing her Galway where he grew up. Angel never hinted to her that he wanted to do something like this. After he lost his soul and regained it, Angel thought he had lost the right to even suggest it. Later, even after he knew he’d wait for her forever, it still never felt right so he let the dream die.
3. Children
Angel had never given Buffy a child. He had never even bothered to find out if she wanted a child but it was what he wanted for her. Maybe that was terribly old fashioned of him. Even when he had held Connor in his arms, watching his baby sleep, thoughts of Buffy percolated in his head. He had made a baby with Darla and couldn’t’ help wishing it had been Buffy. Maybe then things would have been so different.
4. Normal Things
Angel had never given Buffy a house and dog. That was probably part of the same old fashioned dream as the baby. Kids, house dog, white picket fence. Still, Angel wanted to see her in a big, beautiful house, Victorian, maybe from back when architects knew something about style. She deserved a little palace like that. And a dog, a little fluffy Paris Hilton sort of dog. Angel couldn’t’ say why he thought Buffy would look good with a dog like that but somehow the image made him smile. It wasn’t as if she had ever evidenced a desire for a dog but somehow it felt right, a little slice of normal.
5. Peace
The thing Angel had wanted most to give Buffy but failed to was a sense of peace. No, mostly he was exactly the opposite. He brought her strife. Whether he wanted to or not, Angel knew she loved him but mostly all he had ever accomplished was to bring her into conflict with her family, her friends, her Watcher, with her very nature. Even when he had left - something intended as a gift of peace and tranquility - it turned out to be anything but. Of all the dreams Angel clung to, the one he held closest to his unbeating heart was that one day he would be able to instill peace within her life.
And forsouthernbangel Five things Angel wishes he had done with Connor (thanks to evil_little_dog for the inspiration for #2)
1.Milestones
Things Angel wished he could have done with Connor would fill a War & Peace sized novel if he were to list them out. However, one of the things that tore at his heart was that he missed all Connor’s ‘milestones.’ No first steps, no first words, no first day of school. Angel would trade anything to have been able to capture just one of those moments.
2. Penciled in
Angel sighed for pencil marks on a closet door. He wanted to be able to mark Connor’s growing up with those fading bits of graphite. He could see those marks in his mind. Angel could envision himself pushing his giggling child flat-footed from tip-toed attempts at tallness. Every little bit of growth and development mapped out so he could just sit and look at the door frame and remember special times as his son grew. Angel wished for a chance to have made just one of those marks.
3. Thrill seeking
Angel wished he could have gone to an amusement park with Connor. While he had never been the thrill ride kind of guy, for his son Angel would have tried. He could imagine roller coasters, scramblers, round ups and other things designed to make the passengers scream and get sick. Angel would brave them all for the sake of his son. Popcorn, cotton candy, funnel cakes and other park treats, they’d gorge themselves on it until there were comatose from sugar...well, Connor at any rate. Angel sighed. Maybe it wasn’t too late. They might at least be able to do this one.
4. Homecoming
Angel wished he could have taken Connor to Galway and shown him all the things he thought his son should know about when it came to his heritage. He wasn’t sure if the family plot was still there but maybe it would help them both if they saw it. Maybe the family could heal a little if they went back to where it all started. The smell of the wind blowing off Claddagh Bay, the sound of a melancholy fiddle, the rich taste of Guinness. If nothing else, maybe Connor would have a fun time pub crawling with him across Ireland.
5. Family
As he stands in the alleyway, all the things he didn’t do raced through his mind. Angel needed every positive thought so he shoved aside their mistakes with Holtz and Cordy and Jasmine and all the hundred others in between. The one thing he truly wished he had done with Connor was just to sit down on night and be a family. Maybe watch a sporting event or a movie. Maybe play a hand of cards. Or just talk without screaming and accusing each other of things; that would have been so nice. Never once did they truly connect as a family. The only time he understood how Connor really felt was when the boy had come undone in the mall. If Angel survived this new onslaught, he was inviting Connor over and have the beer and popcorn waiting. He might even buy a big screen tv for the occasion. He was tired of lamenting the things he didn’t get to do.
for
scribesds 5 things Angel wished he had given Buffy1. Sunlight
Sometimes it was hard to think about the good things he had given Buffy. It was so much easier to concentrate on the negative things. But one thing Angel had desperately wanted to give her was one thing he hadn’t; days in the sun on the beach. He should have done it. He even had the ability to do so. The Ring of Amarra had been on his finger and he chose duty over his heart. Buffy would only ever see him in moonlight.
2. Vacations
Angel had always wanted to give Buffy the grand tour of Ireland. Maybe that was hokey. Maybe it was romantic. He never could tell. Angel had planned it all in his head; tours of Cork, kissing the Blarney Stone like tourists, pub crawling, dancing to fiddle music, maybe even showing her Galway where he grew up. Angel never hinted to her that he wanted to do something like this. After he lost his soul and regained it, Angel thought he had lost the right to even suggest it. Later, even after he knew he’d wait for her forever, it still never felt right so he let the dream die.
3. Children
Angel had never given Buffy a child. He had never even bothered to find out if she wanted a child but it was what he wanted for her. Maybe that was terribly old fashioned of him. Even when he had held Connor in his arms, watching his baby sleep, thoughts of Buffy percolated in his head. He had made a baby with Darla and couldn’t’ help wishing it had been Buffy. Maybe then things would have been so different.
4. Normal Things
Angel had never given Buffy a house and dog. That was probably part of the same old fashioned dream as the baby. Kids, house dog, white picket fence. Still, Angel wanted to see her in a big, beautiful house, Victorian, maybe from back when architects knew something about style. She deserved a little palace like that. And a dog, a little fluffy Paris Hilton sort of dog. Angel couldn’t’ say why he thought Buffy would look good with a dog like that but somehow the image made him smile. It wasn’t as if she had ever evidenced a desire for a dog but somehow it felt right, a little slice of normal.
5. Peace
The thing Angel had wanted most to give Buffy but failed to was a sense of peace. No, mostly he was exactly the opposite. He brought her strife. Whether he wanted to or not, Angel knew she loved him but mostly all he had ever accomplished was to bring her into conflict with her family, her friends, her Watcher, with her very nature. Even when he had left - something intended as a gift of peace and tranquility - it turned out to be anything but. Of all the dreams Angel clung to, the one he held closest to his unbeating heart was that one day he would be able to instill peace within her life.
And for
southernbangel Five things Angel wishes he had done with Connor (thanks to evil_little_dog for the inspiration for #2)1.Milestones
Things Angel wished he could have done with Connor would fill a War & Peace sized novel if he were to list them out. However, one of the things that tore at his heart was that he missed all Connor’s ‘milestones.’ No first steps, no first words, no first day of school. Angel would trade anything to have been able to capture just one of those moments.
2. Penciled in
Angel sighed for pencil marks on a closet door. He wanted to be able to mark Connor’s growing up with those fading bits of graphite. He could see those marks in his mind. Angel could envision himself pushing his giggling child flat-footed from tip-toed attempts at tallness. Every little bit of growth and development mapped out so he could just sit and look at the door frame and remember special times as his son grew. Angel wished for a chance to have made just one of those marks.
3. Thrill seeking
Angel wished he could have gone to an amusement park with Connor. While he had never been the thrill ride kind of guy, for his son Angel would have tried. He could imagine roller coasters, scramblers, round ups and other things designed to make the passengers scream and get sick. Angel would brave them all for the sake of his son. Popcorn, cotton candy, funnel cakes and other park treats, they’d gorge themselves on it until there were comatose from sugar...well, Connor at any rate. Angel sighed. Maybe it wasn’t too late. They might at least be able to do this one.
4. Homecoming
Angel wished he could have taken Connor to Galway and shown him all the things he thought his son should know about when it came to his heritage. He wasn’t sure if the family plot was still there but maybe it would help them both if they saw it. Maybe the family could heal a little if they went back to where it all started. The smell of the wind blowing off Claddagh Bay, the sound of a melancholy fiddle, the rich taste of Guinness. If nothing else, maybe Connor would have a fun time pub crawling with him across Ireland.
5. Family
As he stands in the alleyway, all the things he didn’t do raced through his mind. Angel needed every positive thought so he shoved aside their mistakes with Holtz and Cordy and Jasmine and all the hundred others in between. The one thing he truly wished he had done with Connor was just to sit down on night and be a family. Maybe watch a sporting event or a movie. Maybe play a hand of cards. Or just talk without screaming and accusing each other of things; that would have been so nice. Never once did they truly connect as a family. The only time he understood how Connor really felt was when the boy had come undone in the mall. If Angel survived this new onslaught, he was inviting Connor over and have the beer and popcorn waiting. He might even buy a big screen tv for the occasion. He was tired of lamenting the things he didn’t get to do.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 03:46 pm (UTC)Angel could envision himself pushing his giggling child flat-footed from tip-toed attempts at tallness.
Such a normal experience for a parent, something Angel never got.
Wonderful job, Dana!
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Date: 2006-09-17 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 05:08 pm (UTC)Sunlight - I always wondered why he never went to see her for one day in the sun when he had the ring. Your last line says it all, and I wonder if he felt he only deserved to be seen in the moonlight?
Vacations - Yes, I can see Angel wanting to take her home to his roots.
Children - He had never even bothered to find out if she wanted a child but it was what he wanted for her. Oh, this is so Angel! I love that line.
Normal Things - Buffy always said she wanted to be normal. And it fits Angel to have his idea of normal as a big old Victorian house. An old-fashioned chap, isn't he?
Peace - This was heartbreaking. He only ever wanted her to be happy, but he just brought her pain. And peace would be something Angel would crave for himself, too.
I'm really pleased with these - thank you very much!
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