priceless spam

[cornerofmadness]

Dearest One,
Actually I did not want to discuss this matter with you before but after fasting and prayer I just decided to contact you for your help, please I real need your help.
I am 20 years old Girl. I leave with yunger brother and we leave alone because we don want the people who killed my late Father, to kill us too.
I will be very happy if you promised me that you will keep this secret until this money arrival your care in your country.
My late Father deposited one trunk of box with a security company here before his dead and because of situation of political crisis here that led to war going on here in my country, we need some body that I will trust to come in and help me and my brother claim this consignment out from the company for the safety of my property that was deposited under there custody.
Please I am contacting you for your assistance, to help me and my brother because we don't have anyone in here to help us and I don't have money to travel from here to any country please I need your assistance to stand by me and my brother and help us to transfer the box to your for future investment.
You will contact the security company as Miss Flora Abe foreign partner who want to help me and claim the box that was deposited by late Father MR David Abe from Republic of sierra Leone .
My late Father did not declared the real content of the box to the security company officials.
He only told them that the box is containing family valuables.
You are the only person I have sent this message across to.
I will like you to keep the secret until this box arrive your country.
You have to promise me that you will not betray me and my brother when this box is under your care.
I will send the documents and the security company contact to you once you accept to help me and my brother. You have to give me your private phone and fax number to enable me to send the documents to you.
The money inside the trunk box is Nine Millions Five Hundred Thousand Dollars ($9.5 Millions Dollars).
I will offer you 10% for the total sum of amount, if you help me and claim this box from the security company. You will also provide investment programme where the money will be invested properly when it arrival your hand safely.
I wait to hear from you.

May God bless you.
Flora & Tony

Comments

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

Anyone with that rich a Father could better learn the English.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

one would hope

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Dearest One (of about a billion other suckers I mass e-mailed this to):

I am writing in hopes you are an idiot and will believe my claims. Please send all of your money to me so I might laugh at your stupid yankee ass.

Thank you.

Flora & Tony"

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

pretty much

[anguisel.livejournal.com]

Dear Flora & Tony,

I'd send you money if you knew how to speak my language (even then that's a big ass fat chance attached to it). Not only that, don't you know what most Americans are broke this time of year? A place you really want to hit is China. I mean, some guy was able to convince millions of Chinese that ants are an aphrodisiac and sold them ant farms. Why not go hit them up for money and leave my ass alone?

Signed by,
Some who's smarter than you

[ladystarlightsj.livejournal.com]

Sigh. I have a couple of patrons who print these things off and I am hoping against all hope that it's to share and laugh about them later and not actually send them money.

(I explained to one older gentleman that it really wasn't a good idea and please please please don't!)

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

Best I've seen so far (didn't get it myself) was from Pope John Paul II's widow.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i like this

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes, that's priceless. I think you sent that one to first draft

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah i've always wondered who buys into this but i know people do