Faith Challenge

[cornerofmadness]

Got a nice little series out of these. Everyone has at least two drabbles to their names but Dru (she's being less cooperative but what can you do with evil vampires?)  All are PG-13 and they're an angsty bunch this time out. Going to cut them individually since they don't want to behave when I cut the at once

Faith was supposed to save her. Where was God? Why he had let his bride be taken? Dru moaned to herself, trying to hold onto the tiny bits of herself that were blowing away like tatters. Faith was gone. Remembering what Daddy and Grandmummy had done that night, Dru wondered if it was ever there to begin with. She walked up the aisle, looking at the crucifix, laughing at what she had once pledged to keep holy. She kissed the virgin’s feet then took a small cross from the altar. Could faith be burned back into her?

She’s on her own now. His head throbbed where she had hit him, stopping him from sacrificing himself for her. Giles should have known it he wasn’t the one to thwart the prophecy. The Master would have killed him and Buffy would have been even more alone in facing down the vampire. Still he had to try. He wasn’t supposed to love her like a daughter but he did. Now he had nothing but faith in his Slayer to go on. When the glass shattered overhead, somehow he knew it wasn’t more evil from below. Faith had been fulfilled.

He wasn’t going to find faith at the bottom of the glass but that didn’t stop him from trying. As the amber liquid burned down his throat he understood why they didn’t normally reassign Watchers to the new Slayer. It was too hard. All the scotch in the world wouldn’t erase the imagine of Buffy taking her own leap of faith off the tower, trusting her life would not be sacrificed in vain. It was little consolation to him that it worked. All he had left was some inborn trust that there was something better on the other side.

He shouldn’t have let her go back to Sunnydale. She wanted him to take it on faith that she would be all right. Deep down, he knew she wouldn’t be. How could she be? No one came back from death unscathed. But he didn’t know how to reach her. Even when holding her in his arms, she felt too far away to touch. Some part of her was still on the other side and even though he couldn’t bring himself to say it, Angel knew it. He wanted to believe Buffy would be all right but faith let him down.

Had he made the biggest mistake in his life? He had put his faith in Wolfram and Hart, his enemies, the ones who had wanted to dissect his son since before he was even born. What choice had he had? Covered in blood, he offered his son’s body up to be reborn into a world where demons didn’t exist. All the things he dreamt of for Connor would now come true. Peace, love, happiness, all the things fate had denied him would be woven into his soul. Angel had to trust it would be enough. He had done the right thing.

Deep to the bone, Angel believed he would survive the final battle. He knew it was foolish to have such faith but he did. Even if it was only in the echo of his son’s laughter years down the road, something of him would remain. His finger prints were on the lives he touched. For once people were better for having known him. Faith had been given a second shot. Connor was finally free to be the man he should have been. Cordy had given him her last moments of life. And Buffy...what was there to say? He’d survive. 

It was God’s will. Nothing would shake his faith in his father’s words. Connor would honor his father’s belief in him. He would kill the monster who had caused him the worst grief he had ever known, the thing that killed his father. It was God’s Will that he had been given to Holtz and now, he would be the instrument of that will. He would strike down the evil, erase it from the earth. The purity of his hatred had given him the perfect plan. He knew how to manipulate Angel and deliver him into his justice. Connor smiled.

He had believed in her, trusted in her love. He should have known it was a lie, like everything else in his life. Was she still up there in his bed? What had happened? Had he done it wrong? Wasn’t it supposed to be a connection, to make love grow? Was he incapable of being loved? The sunlight burned too bright as he walked the streets, anger growing in him, fed by his fear. He wanted to go back and throw Cordy out. He wanted to talk to his father, maybe he could explain. He wanted his trust back.

Faith lay broken at the bottom of his soul. His daughter had been his last chance at salvation, his own personal Jesus. Holtz would have stropped him for that sacrilege. Holtz had never known Jasmine’s love. Connor saw it touching everyone, peace, love, all the things denied to him. He remained hollow, a dark ringing emptiness that couldn’t be filled. It howled inside him. When would he get to rest? Faith deserted him. He was incapable of being loved. Life was required for those things. He had been born dead. Looking at his daughter’s blood on his hands, Connor shattered.

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