blech

[cornerofmadness]

I woke up exhausted and so I remained. My stomach and guts weren't too happy either. could be sugar. could be gastric paresis. could be 'catching something.' whatever, it put me off my game all day.

I'm angry at myself. two weeks ago I cleaned out my files and found my health saving's account checks I need to pay the doc's until my deductible kicks in. I said oh good I need them especially since I put away the 'debit card' for this account last March in a 'safe place' and can't find it. Yesterday i went to get the checks...gone. quick search still gone.

today I launched a major search. Nada. WTF? I have NO idea where they went. I go medival on the living room, put everything on the table in a box (including keys I just found in another box this morning. See?I'm awful. I have no idea what those keys are for and I obviously no longer own the things they open. THROW THEM OUT). I didn't find the checks but I did find the debit card. NOT In a safe place but somehow scurried under the lazy susan comet top of my weird coffe table (where it's been for over nine months)

In the process i generated FIVE bags of recycleable paper (on top of the 5 pages I carted out last week). it's disgusting how much shit I've let build up. ugh.

I'm not neat. I've no interest in being neat. Neat makes me literally nervous. BUt this, i also do not want.

It was warm and rainy and the kids were out with the dog. THe kitten is not happy. It was so frightened of them and me that when i tried luring it with chicken it just looked longingly at the chicken and CRIED. Standing still and just watching helped since it did finally eat.

writing has been SO SLOW

ETA - For my Canadian Friends. This came to my notice in goodreads.

turning your used books into literacy programs from what they said you donate the books and the money from sales fund literacy programs

Comments

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

I don't really watch Heroes, but ...

Dr H came out at 24, and a friend of ours just came out at 31 - both after a series of opposite-sex relationships. Helen describes herself as somewhere between gay and bi, our other friend is way more into guys and describes himself now as basically gay. So ... it can happen. However, in my experience, people do usually see it coming. A lot of Helen's friends and family told her immediately after she came out that they weren't surprised or had suspected as much. If you see childhood photos of her and her (mostly straight) identical twin sister you can sort of see why ... As for our other friend, people who meet him for thirty seconds assume he's gay and H and I had already predicted that after his last opposite sex relationship ended he was going to come out.

But I think on TV it's 'TV logic' - it's more motivated by issues from the network and the producers than by the story or observation of people. There's more impact to making an established character gay and I guess less risky than making them gay from the start? I don't think it was quite so bad in the case of Willow as she was, what, 19? - which is pretty young to come out anyway. They did handle the gay/bi thing very inconsistently, though, which again I thought was more to do with meta-logic (showing they weren't going to go back on their decision and straighten her out) than a nuanced portrayal of sexuality.

/noodling

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

the heroes thing was even less well handled than Willow (and she sort of bothered me too but at least I really LIKED her and Tara). I think what gets me is that on tv is often just feels like the producers decide you know what will get ratings...

but in my real life, it's much more like you described. Most of them had an inkling (and us around them did too) that they were either bi or gay.

At least with Luc, he has known for a while he's bi but with his family he didn't dare even think about it. During the first story I have to deal with all that. This one i'm picking at now is actually the second story (and the one most likely to be done first), Luc's moved into the first real relationship he's ever had with a guy

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Yes, I liked Tara a lot too. Still bummed out that she died to advance teh plot of my least favourite season, and then ... Kennedy. *throws a shoe at Kennedy*

While I do want to see more gay/bi/flexible characters on TV - I still remember the time when there were hardly any, especially main characters, and cut the Willow thing a lot of slack because it was quite a bold move at the time to allow a main character to be gay - I wish it got handled differently, and more producers just had the balls to make characters queer from the start rather than to bring teh issue drama for another badly done coming-out story. (wow, run-on sentence)

... And that's why I like Captain Jack. Well, one of many reasons. (Shame about Torchwood.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

loathed Kennedy. I wanted to smack the smug out of Joss when he announced that one of his characters DID have a good relationship (a criticism many fans leveled at him) I'm like Kennedy is one step from sexual predator and creepy

That's also why I liked captain Jack. Yes, TV does a very bad job of coming out stories, really. Poor luc is in love with someone a lot like Jack in many ways