Ficlet - Patterns in the Rain

[cornerofmadness]

TitlePatterns in the Rain
Author- cornerofmadness
Disclaimer all rights belong to Ms. Arakawa
Rating PG-13
Characters/Pairing Edward
Timeline/Spoilers Set soon after Ed and Al try to bring their mom back
Word Count 484
Warning Medical descriptions of wounds and bodily functions
SummaryThe storm mirrors his inner self
Author’s Note With nano going on, I didn’t think I’d have the time but sometimes they just won’t be silenced. This was written for fma_fic_contest's condense prompt. thanks to evil_little_dog for the run thru


XXX
Ed watched the rain hitting the window pane. Outside, the weather seemed to reflect the misery in his mind, lashing the house with wind and water. Drops condensed into patterns. For a moment, he thought he saw the array for making gold in the pattern. He wasn’t supposed to know that but compared to other things he found in his father’s books, that seemed so mild a taboo.

Of course, the rain array could be nothing more than a byproduct of whatever painkiller Granny had given him. He hadn’t wanted any. He deserved his pain but she said his blood pressure was going too high. There was no arguing with her. The needle dipped into the muscle of his buttock, filling him with something that made the world slide sideways and fall into darkness. When he woke up, his mind was sluggish, groggy with things he wasn’t sure were entirely real.

What was all too real was the pain the medicine couldn’t completely take away. He could feel the pulse of his heart in the stump of his leg, thumping as if trying to escape its meaty confines. The smells when they came to change his dressings were so gamey and metallic, so stomach churning, Ed almost wished for more pain medicine to send him down into the comforting darkness where he didn’t have to smell coppery blood.

The sad looks Winry tried to school off her face whenever she came into the room weren’t the products of a befuddled mind. Did she blame him for the condition he was in? She should. But it was fear he saw in her eyes as she pressed cool towels to his fevered forehead or fed him salty, beefy broth to keep up his strength.

However, the harshest reality was the hollow yet heavy sounds of his baby brother’s footsteps. Ed could barely look at him, look upon the thing he had turned his brother into. This was all his fault. Al would have eventually come to terms with Mom’s death if not for him. He was the one who pushed so hard for this. He was supposed to keep his brother safe. Instead, he had imprisoned him in a body of a monster. He had heard Al and Winry talking when they thought he was asleep. His brother couldn’t feel, couldn’t eat, didn’t even have the escape of sleep. How long could his soul last like that? How long could his mind?

Ed went back to watching the rain on the glass. It didn’t look like arrays any more. Ed wished he had never found his father’s books, had never spent a moment with Teacher expanding on their knowledge. If he hadn’t fought for answers, his brother would have his body still and he wouldn’t be in a bed, peeing into tubes, aching with guilt and agony. For the first time in his young life, Ed felt defeated.

Comments

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Bleurgh to the gamey smells of a freshly amputated stump. *pats poor, morphine-addled, guilty little Ed* Seeing a bit more of the gory details of his physical and mental state makes you appreciate what a tough little mite Ed is to pick himself up and regain his determination.

I always have this idea that little eleven year old Ed could have been the first guy Winry ever catheterised (under supervision, of course). He was too out of it to know at the time, and then years later, she casually mentions it early on when they're dating. Cue coffee spurting out of the nose, choking fit, amusing mental trauma.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes well amputations are an interesting lot. And Ed is amazingly tough

and Ha. Actually I think ELD has attempted something like that with the catheter. Poor Ed

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

I think it was the word "gamey" that really got to me. You're putting me off the delicious rabbit in my freezer here.

I'm not surprised to hear that.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahaha oops. well slap some spices on it and the whole gamey thing will fade to the backdrop (but fresh amputations always reminded me of the hunt)

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

For a second, I wasn't sure if you were talking about the bunny or the leg ... ;_;

Doctors are fun: we were in the middle of eating pumpkin pie last night when Helen launched into a little analysis of the consistency of the cats' poos. I was all *gestures to gooey brown pie*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahaha spice the bunny, salve the leg

yes doctors have no sense about the grossness of things any more. it's been burnt out of us

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

And be sure not to get it the wrong way round?

Ed: Winry, you left your gross-smelling surgeon's gown out and it's stinking out the kitchen.
Pinako: no she didn't, I'm braising pheasants for dinner. The smell's pretty similar.
Ed: ;_;

Helen has amusing remnants of things that squick her: milk, stray hairs on things (there's a hair in the sink! get it out for me!), dirty washing up water.

Me: how can doing the washing up be worse than sticking your finger up an old man's arse?
Her: IT JUST IS

Amusingly, enemy agrees with her (although in her case it's cutting poo off puppy arses she doesn't mind)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahahah yes Ed that is the appropriate face

milk grosses me out too. Gah. hate it. Mucus. Omg I quail at the sight of mucus. My SiL is a resp. therapist. I couldn't even see a patient is one of those were in the room. For that matter doing dishes grosses me out

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Doctorz is weird. I say that with affection.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahahaha we are

[ishte.livejournal.com]

Ow! Hurty words. Put 'em together nicely though. Very nicely.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you