Upon a Pale Horse

[cornerofmadness]

Last week it was my cousin's nephew who died and my friend's father, today the last of my grandfather's siblings passed away, my aunt Marge. Honestly I was never very friendly with her, she was a bit of a hard woman and I only really ever saw her on pool party or poker nights. In fact last year at my cousin's graduation party was probably the first time I saw the woman since I graudated high school.

Never the less, she was the last of the siblings. She died of uterine cancer (yes ladies we still do have to see the ob/gyn even post menopause). The cancer spread like wildfire though I don't think she opted to do anything about it. She was in her nineties.

Also my aunt put her cat to sleep today. THe poor thing was shrieking in pain from arthritis. They had been giving her cortisone shots but they stopped helping.

Soul has two swollen limbs again and is in his frantic, anxious state. I will be having the vet check him but now that he's not just pooping on the floor but pissing everywhere again I seriously have to consider taking him out of here. He needs to be an only cat (and someone needs to figure out why his limbs swell. I say something is wrong with him.) I can't even move without him panicking so now he's utterly hiding from everyone only emerging to piss on the floor or in my tub. He actually shit in front of his food. NO animal does that. Animals do not mess where they eat. That alone tells of a severe disturbance in this cat.

The next person the Pale Horse comes for is going to be me if I can't get this sugar under control.It was 290 earlier, so I took a SECOND 20 units of insulin. an hour later my sugar was 320 in spite of it. I have no idea. I had a freaking salad and some zucchini for dinner.

So yeah, not a happy day.

Photo a day in August. Today's prompt is 'writing.' You get to see my handwriting. Outside of silvrethorn & evil_litle_dog (who's seen lots of it) I'm not sure anyone has ever seen it. It was slightly better in medical school before the nerve damage but now, I'm n ot sure anyone can read it easily (even me, seriously on the notes i'm taking for class it's all WTF does that say?)

Comments

[helliongoddess.livejournal.com]

Yikes, I don't need to hear that about your aunt's cat... my oldest (see icon) has arthritis in one leg. As long as I give her her glucosamine treats, she seems ok - the vet hasn't even suggested cortisone yet. But I live in fear of the day it gets worse and she's really hurting.

Sorry about your great-aunt. I lost both of my dad's aunts to uterine cancer. Weird coincidence. I never got to see them much, but they were cool women, great old southern farm gals, much like my grandmother.

Are you left-handed, by any chance? Your handwriting looks like lefty writing. (I am, as is my hubs and my daughter. And we all have the handwriting of serial killers.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

this cat had it in its back. It was horrible. you knew it was suffering so much it couldn't even move its bowels right. It was time.

Thanks. I'm betting back in the day, Marge was a party animal but she was never kid friendly very much so I never got to know her well.

Okay here's the deal. I started out left, switched to my right in grade school. Dad and I both have reverse hemisphere domination. He writes left handed but writes like a righty. I write right handed but I write like a lefty right down to the left hand hook as I hold the pen. we don't have the crossing over that most people have in their brains. I'm totally ambidexterous in everything but writing (I can write with my left a little but it's just as bad)

[helliongoddess.livejournal.com]

I'm really really really left-handed, mirror-wrote everything in grades K-2 - like DaVinci (similarity ends there, sadly.) Oddly enough, the dyslexia (which they didn't know from adam back then, they told my parents I was stupid) didn't extend to spelling or reading - I was way ahead of the scale on those things. But I do have dyscalcula, and reverse numbers a lot - and totally suck at math or anything that requires mathematical thinking. Which I guess makes me pretty much totally right-brained.

I do write back-handed, with my hand curved around - like Obama. I've read more than once that lefties that do that are more often prone to dyslexia-type problems, for some reason. They tried to get me to write "normally" but it didn't work. But I can't do much of anything with my right hand unless it involves lots of repetition and muscle memory (it took me forever to learn to finger pick on guitar, and I still suck at it - and I never could use a pick, at all.)

I've had a terrible time learning to do things like knitting and crochet. Anything that involves a lot of directional switches and steps will fry my brain, quickly. (I suck at chess, too.) And yet I test in highest percentiles on SAT & IQ type tests. I've concluded I'm basically a good guesser - good at intuiting things and seeing patterns,but very bad at thinking them out logically. *lol*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I could do the mirror writing as a kid but lost that ability before my teens ran out. Also dyslexic/dyscalculic which made my math minor a bitch and a half

I'm good at the stuff you're bad at b ut I DO suck at things that require spatial thinking.

I used to freak the surgeons teaching me out big time.Most surgeons have to spin around the table to complete work. I just switched hands as needed

[helliongoddess.livejournal.com]

Must be nice to be able to switch-hit like that. I broke my finger in 5th grade and had to wear a cast for several months (busted up the joint) - I couldn't write at all with my right hand, so ended up clutching one of the big fat first grader pencils with the two fingers sticking out of the cast.

Do you have trouble with left-right - like if someone asks "which way do I turn?" do you have to go through a long drawn-out process to get the answer - and get it wrong half or more of the time? I usually give up and just point. *lol*

It's frustrating to feel so smart and so stupid at the same time. But it's probably not such a bad thing - I'd probably have been really insufferable - like my dad was - if I hadn't been borh this way. Although being fat, tall, and largely-blind were more than enough to bring me down several pegs and keep me humble, too. O__o

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it's easy for me, the nerve damaged hand, the shoulder surgery, none of the slowed me much

no i'm very very good with directions though sometimes when I'm talking and demonstrating in class I do get them backwards.

snort. I suspect I'm pretty insufferable

[raceulfson.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your loss. You just aren't having a good year. ::hugs::

I know you are a doctor, so I can't say anything you didn't already think of about your sugar going up, except that's nuts. The only thing that comes to mind is maybe your monitor/tester whatsit is busted?

However, your kitty. Do you have plastic water dishes, cat fountain, plates? Because believe it or not, I knew someone with a cat with similar swelling issues and it was a plastic allergy. Maybe go all stainless steel or ceramic for a while? The potty issues could be from stress caused by the health thing.

Or, you know, he could be ornery. I had a cat who would pee on the stove top. Nothing we did (except banish him from the house) would stop it. And let me tell you, that is a smell you don't forget if you haven't scrubbed every last molecule of cat pee off the burner...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks.no not really

no the moniter is sadly right. the endocrinologist ahs been trying to figure out why my body does this.

No plastic for the kitties. Actually Soul middens every time it gets hot. We don't know why. he's done this two summers in a row and no one can figure out why.

on the stove? Ewww

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Your handwriting. I can still read it, somewhat.

Soul's body chemistry is so odd - I'm sorry he's feeling bad and acting worse.

Good luck with your sugar. D:

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it'snot much worse since FL

Soul has issues. I really do think there is something wrong with him

thanks, I'll need it. I feel like hell right now

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

No, it's scritchy as always.

Soul does have issues.

I'm sure you do. D:

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

always has been

Soul needs...more help than I can give

:(

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree. Mom complains she cannot read my writing any more.

I'm afraid that's true.

D: D: D: Has your sugar dropped any? Do you need to start drinking beer again every night?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oops

it is

it's dropped 50 points after i ate some meat

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

yeah, well. I'm kind of glad, one of my journals is at her house. If she can't read it, no one can. Except maybe you and silvrethorn.

I'm glad your sugar dropped some.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your aunty. *huggles*

Poor lil kitty. They did the right thing, if he was hurting that badly. And your lil kitty! poor thing! I hope it's nothing serious!

Wow! you are not having a good summer are you? *more huggles* I hope you get your sugar under control.

Don't feel bad about your writing, mine's worse. It's a big loopy, dyslexic mess, that I often find hard to read and I wrote it. ^^;

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you

my cat just has issues

my sugar sucks

snort, i did okay on the dyslexia on this for the most part

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

you're welcome.

yeah? XD

so does my asthma. I can't wait for winter when it eases up, despite the cold.

yay! :D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

he does, the vet has given him a diagnosis of 'crazy' poor thing

i hear you. I've never had to use my inhaler so much as this year

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Awe... the poor lil thing!

*nods* I know, right? Normally I don't really need it, I just keep it for an emergency, or if I'm going to beach. (The cold water will sometimes trigger an attack)But this summer... it's as bad as I rememnber the one when I got diagnosed with it was. ^^;

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i do feel sorry for the thing

seriously. I can't remember the last time I've had to use it so much

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

Sorry your day was a real brow beater too.. :(

And your writing isn't that bad - kind of ressembles mine when I try to write as fast as I'm thinking, and I imagine you think and write very, very quickly. I can make out quite a bit of it, actually.

PS Do you just prefer to write by hand or just not at a computer to write when it strikes you?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks

i do write very fast

mostly i write by both. I write by hand in front of the tv/at work/out and later write by computer. I like by hand better

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you've lost so many people lately.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you