Yay I've got my penis

[cornerofmadness]

And that's how my day started with those words. 30 seconds later I got the box open and said 'awww it's so small. I feel like a man who jumped into the lake in January.' Seriously I knew there had to be a catch on these models they were so cheap. They're TINY. (I apparently can't figure out sizes). At least it has a diseased testicle so that's something. The uterus is good though. People are never sure what might go on in my office some days.

At least the new tiny penis is better than the Amish one I have in the lab currently. No lie, it's wood and looks like something they got off of Ken.

Kanda is now in a box with the rest of the cats to dissect. Last night he cried so I put a hand down to pet him and saw the blown pupils at the last second. It wasn't a 'pet me, mom' cry. It was a 'I challenge you to a duel, bitch' cry. I lost. Blood everywhere. Bastard. Such an ingrate.

Jana’s what’s up Wednesday post

Britain’s oldest tree

Luke & Leia nearly 40 years later Man, my childhood heroes are getting old. It's making me sad. (Hell I just realized I'm only 8 years away from getting senior citizen discounts at my local casino 0_o) Please tell me Carrie is doing duck face (WHY is that a thing now?) and not that she had more collagen jammed into her lips than anyone 3 people need.

You want me to watch you do WHAT? Okay this reminds me of time in Cleveland when personal ads were still in the paper and there was a guy who wanted the lady to throw oranges at him in the shower and tell him he was worthless. My thought was 'WTF happened in your life that you know THIS is what gets you off?' Seriously? How do you get to that point? I'm not judging. I'm honestly curious. And then there was the time in Florida where Milkmaid Mike wanted to clean houses in his pony boots and french maid uniform and evil_little_dog would NOT let me answer his ad. I just wanted to see what would have happened.

WTH promo photos

declutter day 267 item tossed -Daydream Ghost talkers Why kept- Wanted to read it why tossed- You’d think an albino dominatrix (virgin) who sees ghosts would be interesting. Nope just weird. (hey this fits the above topic)

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

That must've been a thing, the throwing fruit at a man, because Rita Mae Brown talked about it in her autobiography, Rita Can. She made good money doing it.

Milkmaid Mike was not coming to my house. Nope.

The Prom Photos are just scary.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I was unaware. If he had been willing to pay, I would have thrown all the fruit he wanted.

We could have had a clean house.

they are

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much all I remember about that book, sadly.

We could've. We could've had a wack job with our address, too.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh well

that too

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

And the ghosts probably would've hated him.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that could have been fun

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

As much as Smoking Man played with the ex-hubby's hair, I can imagine he'd play with Milkmaid Mike's as much, if not more.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

again, that could have been fun. Pony boots ain't made for running

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can mentally see this now (though Milkmaid Mike looks like Brendan Frasier) - M.M. has to dodge Growling!Irritated!Chief, Annoyed Dodger, the Old Woman in the Bedroom, the Black Thing Upstairs, and Smoking Man. And Pewter and Callie would just be barking, because.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

there you go, you have your next story for Halloween

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

hahahaha, I was thinking I should try to figure out a story for that idea, but I'm not sure what could happen with it.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

no doubt many things. bonus points if you work in that pink kiddie ouija board

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Sisters were talking about the Ouija board they received for Yule one year, which pretty much floored me.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

they're that age. No one thought that much of them in 60s-70s. My parents had one too

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I think 50s, but not sure.

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

LMAO yay for a good start to the day?

Aww, poor Kanda, maybe he needs something interactive to play with that won't feel pain or bleed....

I know how you feel about childhood heroes, I feel like I'm putting some distance between me and the 'original casts' for this very reason. *sigh*

Ah, the mysteries of the human psyche...sometimes I wonder how it is that most animals retain their survival instinct and can evolve for their survival and then humans do.....self-defeating and species defeating things. I'm still remembering the post about people marrying inanimate objects..

On that note, I shall get popcorn and watch movie trailers and at least appreciate people's ingenuity to create interesting cinema.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

It was amusing. It was also followed by the unintentional comment to my chair of 'hey, why is my penis in your box.' God my mouth

He does. He's bored in this shitty little apartment. I've been too busy to play with him.

Yeah the chick who married the Robert Pattison/Edward Cullan standee. I swear if I had gone into psych, I would have made this my thesis.

sounds like fun.

[sillymagpie.livejournal.com]

I had no idea throwing fruit was a sex thing. How very...unexpected. 8-/

For a second I thought Kanda had a stroke when you mentioned blown pupils. I have a large jute-covered ball that I give to the cat to savage instead of my hand.

Online I saw a human heart split open. My, there a lot more tiny veins inside than diagrams show. It looks like the inside of a spaghetti squash, almost.

BTW, apparently one reason for my fatigue and sleepiness is vitamin D deficiency. My vitamin D is 4.9 and it's supposed to be around 8 of whatever you measure it in. The doctor gave me a prescription for a massive dose of vitamin D to be taken for the next six months.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Yep, apparently it is a sex thing...along with pepperoni

No blown in the sympathetic nervous system way. jackass cat.

yep and some of those might not have been veins but rather chordae tendinae which anchor the valves

that will also contribute to depression. Good luck with the vitamin D therapy

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing at that last link* especially at the answer from the 'true dyed-in-the-wool pervert'

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

there is some real gold there

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the bloodthirsty kitty, btw.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you. Furry Monster. Today he refuses to be pet with my left hand. Only the right will do

[scribesds.livejournal.com]

WTF are you on today, girl? I couldn’t stop laughing at your post. First off, how can you not read something with a title like yours??

Second… um… milkmaid mike would have made a classy addition to your home. And imagine! You’d come get back from work and have no housework to do! Go for it!

And an Amish penis? Really? I’d ask how that works, but you’d probably tell me!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

It's just a typical day in my life, sad to say.

I so wanted Milkmaid Mike.

Hmmm, how familiar are you with the Amish? They're highly religious and eschew modern things like electricity so that penis is totally without any detail that anyone would need. You'd have to puzzle out what you're even staring at

[scribesds.livejournal.com]

Well, I hope Milkmaid Mike went to a good home.

I’d heard the Amish are… very proper people, prudish even? So it surprised me that they would have any kind of phallic symbol at all. Where on earth did you find one?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I hope so.

I didn't. I was being sarcastic. :-)

[sonjajade.livejournal.com]

so the penis is a model or is it like a preserved actual penis in glass? either way, I'd love to be a fly on your office wall sometimes XD

LUKE AND LEIA OMG STOP! They better use some CGI on Carrie or all the little fanboys with their metal bikini dreams will leave the theater. And Luke looks like my father, which is SCARY.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Model. I took it out and showed it around today

Yeah, Father Time is not always kind. Luke looks like my coworker