Caught the tiger by the tail

[cornerofmadness]

That's what depression feels like sometimes, catching that tiger. I'm working on my apartment tearing apart the closets two of which that have become dumping grounds for shit.

I've pulled in one day SIX bags from the little coat closet in the living room all filled with stories mostly (and one bag filled with shit I should keep but don't know where to put it, like staplers, tape dispensers...) Some have editing marks, some don't. I need to say enough's enough. Print it, edit it then TOSS it.

But then I said what if I loose my computer in a crash?

This can't keep going. I need a better place to put this or toss it or a little of both (most likely out come)

Then I saw stories I haven't touched in years. Back when I wrote something other than m/m romance. Stories I SHOULD be touching. I have started working on Splinters of Silver and Cold Iron. I sent ELD chapter one. I should get the first 50 pages fixed up and look for an agent.

at least the bathroom is clean. I've gotten nothing else done. no doctors called, no Direct TV ordered, no DVR, no new futon/sleeper sofa for the second bedroom. I might just come back earlish in August and do this shit.

I'm nauseous. I think some of it has to do with stress. But I'm afraid it's going to keep me from getting that surgery since I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up before the night is over. I do that a lot with the gastric paresis but you can't if you have the surgery I need. I am going to take a break from Facebook, or at least my feed. I've put so many people on the still friends but not seeing your posts list but it's not enough.

In just 36 hours I saw two posts about Trump. One posted his idiotic remarks about there not being a CA drought and one of her friends went off how brilliant he was and that Obama is gay and Michelle is actually a tranny and the kids are adopted and we're all sheepeole if we can't see that's true. (If this had been one of my friends, seriously that would have been the end of it). Another posted Hawking's article about Trump and her friend went off shrieking that Hawking was an idiot and all his theories have been disproven and Trump was so much better than the skeevy Marxist (I'm assuming she means Bernie). Both of these are ludicrous and laughable and yet terrifying in a way.

I also think at home I need to lay down the law with parents and aunts/uncle. NO politics. None. Seriously I mean it. I will leave the room. It's better in the summer usually because we sit outside in the morning and don't watch the news like Dad insists on when I go home at Christmas.

I am overwhelmed so I ran away to the winery with L but regretted that too. Actually she was good but all I could think about was the work I was failing to do.

Carina Press (part of Harlequin) is looking for novellas both SF and shifter. I was wondering if I could take Deadwood which is 14K and double it (as these are 25-40K for these open calls) but I'm not sure I can do that. silvrethorn's suggestions would probably do it for me but...I'm not sure that was the story I wanted to tell. We'll see. I'll think on it (but I'm probably better off concentrating on my other SF short story for a smaller press)

Declutter day 2 item tossed -Shoes why kept-Wore them why tossed -Time to go

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I need to get tdigging through my stuff pretty hard if I'm going to move later this year. I figure things are going into storage but even so, I need to clean things out so I don't have to take everything with me.

Drinking something sounds good. I wonder if I have anything I could make boozy something out of?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah you will. Storage only holds so much stuff. Good luck

did you find anything boozy

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Alas no boozy.

Yes, storage only holds so much. Sigh.

[tinhutlady.livejournal.com]

Carina Press sounds great! Go for it!
Would try myself, but I couldn't write a romance to save my life.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I might try. What do I have to lose? If they say no, I can try it elsewhere but I have to be careful and really read their contracts. Harlequin is notorious for having you only work for us now clauses.


I don't even like romance. I have no idea how I arrived at this place.