writerly ways
Jun. 26th, 2016 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessThis week you get a look into my writing/editing process which involves a shit ton of whining and going in circles.
I finally had time to read all of the rejection/suggestions they had on Blood Red. I'm stunned they wanted it back since they seemed to have literally everything. It's too long. Luc's too flat (more on that later), there's no world building (no shit, it's Las Vegas 2015. It's the world as it is with vampires and witches and werewolves. And I DID world build that. I think they mean they wanted more description since the example was about candles....something I mentioned ONCE according to global search).
Speaking of adding more description, ditto shoring up Luc, all the suggestions would add length to this story. Something they want me to cut. There were complaints of repetition. Yes, that I'm sure is true. Some of the characters are stupid. Yeah, okay yes to that too. (but yes he was SUPPOSED to be).
And then the more mysterious complaints that left me wondering did they want more or less romance and how was it predictable? (I guess I need to figure out a way of asking after this nicely without sounding defensive).
I can't share the letter openly but I did let my betas see it because they know the story and I'm all about the suggestions because some things you can see yourself. I also asked ES who writes a lot of romances, especially about that predictable romance comment (frankly I find romances in general predictable. It's one of the reasons I don't like them all that much).
Anyhow I copied some of my response to ES here (after one of her suggestions to combine characters to help eliminate some of them, as too many characters was another complaint) because I think I'll find them helpful later.
Unfortunately Craig is the leader of the supernatural group (think Watchers) so no, I seriously can not. What I could do is remove the whole subplot of Craig dying maybe by having Eleni leave town and purposely be seen elsewhere (so she can sneak back in later) and that would remove all of the secondary characters (maybe I can keep one, another friend of Arrigo's). Thanks that was a helpful suggestion.
I was worried about Luc being...too passive. I think that might be what they mean by flat. I'm not entirely sure how he feels like a secondary character. We know a ton about Luc. We know he wants to get his GED and get away from his abusive family. We know he's still actively being abused but feels trapped because his education stopped when he was 13 and his job is thru his father, we know his family is homophobic and he's been raised to feel like his attraction to both sexes is wrong, we know he's Catholic and priests have reinforced his feelings of self loathing about his sexuality, we know he's afraid Arrigo's too good for him and can't figure out why Arrigo is attracted to him, we know he has an adventurous streak, likes hunting and fishing and misses his Cajun home, we know he's very protective of Amelia (a hard luck waitress) and her kids, we know he's subservient to dominant men.
Honestly I thought I had made him pretty well rounded so that one hurt a little to be honest. I wish I could tell if they want more romance or less (for me, less is more. I wanted this one to be more genre fic with a romantic sub plot).
And I had another thought, as I go thru this: reread each chapter and outline to the side about the topics of conversation. I KNOW there are repetitive areas. This was written in pieces, rewritten etc over many years. I think that will help.
I don't know how much more I can take out but I'm sure I can snip some things. Sigh.
Best part, I thought I pulled over the original fic folder to my flash when I left and either I didn't or the finished version of Blood Red was in the older file already on the flash and I overrode it but I didn't have that OR my word count file. Head desk. I pray I haven't lost my finished story. It MIGHT be in my sent folder on yahoo.
Yearly word count -
30634 / 115000 words. 27% done!
I finally had time to read all of the rejection/suggestions they had on Blood Red. I'm stunned they wanted it back since they seemed to have literally everything. It's too long. Luc's too flat (more on that later), there's no world building (no shit, it's Las Vegas 2015. It's the world as it is with vampires and witches and werewolves. And I DID world build that. I think they mean they wanted more description since the example was about candles....something I mentioned ONCE according to global search).
Speaking of adding more description, ditto shoring up Luc, all the suggestions would add length to this story. Something they want me to cut. There were complaints of repetition. Yes, that I'm sure is true. Some of the characters are stupid. Yeah, okay yes to that too. (but yes he was SUPPOSED to be).
And then the more mysterious complaints that left me wondering did they want more or less romance and how was it predictable? (I guess I need to figure out a way of asking after this nicely without sounding defensive).
I can't share the letter openly but I did let my betas see it because they know the story and I'm all about the suggestions because some things you can see yourself. I also asked ES who writes a lot of romances, especially about that predictable romance comment (frankly I find romances in general predictable. It's one of the reasons I don't like them all that much).
Anyhow I copied some of my response to ES here (after one of her suggestions to combine characters to help eliminate some of them, as too many characters was another complaint) because I think I'll find them helpful later.
Unfortunately Craig is the leader of the supernatural group (think Watchers) so no, I seriously can not. What I could do is remove the whole subplot of Craig dying maybe by having Eleni leave town and purposely be seen elsewhere (so she can sneak back in later) and that would remove all of the secondary characters (maybe I can keep one, another friend of Arrigo's). Thanks that was a helpful suggestion.
I was worried about Luc being...too passive. I think that might be what they mean by flat. I'm not entirely sure how he feels like a secondary character. We know a ton about Luc. We know he wants to get his GED and get away from his abusive family. We know he's still actively being abused but feels trapped because his education stopped when he was 13 and his job is thru his father, we know his family is homophobic and he's been raised to feel like his attraction to both sexes is wrong, we know he's Catholic and priests have reinforced his feelings of self loathing about his sexuality, we know he's afraid Arrigo's too good for him and can't figure out why Arrigo is attracted to him, we know he has an adventurous streak, likes hunting and fishing and misses his Cajun home, we know he's very protective of Amelia (a hard luck waitress) and her kids, we know he's subservient to dominant men.
Honestly I thought I had made him pretty well rounded so that one hurt a little to be honest. I wish I could tell if they want more romance or less (for me, less is more. I wanted this one to be more genre fic with a romantic sub plot).
And I had another thought, as I go thru this: reread each chapter and outline to the side about the topics of conversation. I KNOW there are repetitive areas. This was written in pieces, rewritten etc over many years. I think that will help.
I don't know how much more I can take out but I'm sure I can snip some things. Sigh.
Best part, I thought I pulled over the original fic folder to my flash when I left and either I didn't or the finished version of Blood Red was in the older file already on the flash and I overrode it but I didn't have that OR my word count file. Head desk. I pray I haven't lost my finished story. It MIGHT be in my sent folder on yahoo.
Yearly word count -
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no subject
Date: 2016-06-29 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 02:37 am (UTC)I need to ask but I'm trying to figure out how to ask without sounding defensive.
Ask about that and how the romance is so predictable because I though I had some doubt worked in. I'm half afraid of their answers.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-30 03:39 am (UTC)There weren't any concrete examples given of what the editor considers predictable? He/she should be able to point out exactly what scenes, paragraphs, etc. made the romance feel predictable, or at least give you an overview of what dragged it down. Hopefully you can get an answer that is helpful and not infuriating/stupid.