Dream theatre

I was scuba diving with friends on a coral reef. There were dolphins who were a tad too interested in us. It was fun at first but the dolphins wouldn't let us be (dolphins are pretty much horny little bastards and are known to hump just about anything they can). We started toward this man-made structure. At first I thought it was our boat but then it became some kind of machine that had a large intake that dumped you into a meat grinder and for whatever reason it was butted up against the reef.

Then the dolphins started getting restless and a big shark appeared. I was too deep, investigating part of the reef and I couldn't get past the shark. My friends were yelling at me to stab it with my weapon (which was basically a big pointy stick that acted like a taser. Let's not get into the idea that I can use electricity in salt water and that I could hear my friend. Maybe he was Aquaman).

Anyhow I got herded into the meat grinder intake. I kept trying to pull myself up and out but the shark would appear but I couldn't stay hunkered down in the intake because it would chew me up. I woke up before I could end up shark food or hamburger.

another day no closer to my goal

THough today I can blame having to finish my final pathophysiology lecture (and I'm nearly 100% caught up on my tv viewing. I've gone through @ 18 hours of video). You might see the following c&p'ed into my writing journal as well.

I'm finding it unexpectedly hard to write as I mentioned last night. I hadn't realized how USED to having beta readers look at each chapter as I write them. Usually that takes time and no one is overwhelmed. Nano is different. I'm firing this out at reckless speeds. This dependence has come upon me gradually.

A fifteen years ago I barely had the internet and most of my writing was done in a vacuum. No one would see it until it was done. Then I started posting online at FFN and other online sites. It paid to have another beta. Well, I would have them for my original fiction back in the day and less so for fanfic because you had to pay to photocopy and mail it to friend and wait for them to get it back to you.

No doubt the instance online feedback is a drug and I've grown more than a little dependant on it. Is my nano any good? Am I going the right direction? I don't want to spends months revision crap that shouldn't have been written in the first place but I will because that's the nature of the beast. I started handing a chapter or scene at a time to my first readers a decade ago. Now I feel almost utterly too dependant on them.

They're busy with other things, not the least of which (as far as my selfish concerns go) is my novel Kept Tears which could be ready to send out by January if I'm lucky. I'm waiting to hear back where I messed up this time (because I'm sure I have), is the PTSD organic or inconsistent, do we care about the protagonists etc. Even that novel really didn't have instant feedback but I was less of a baby about it.

In other news I better get off of here and finish that blasted lecture. But first Caturday pics. Soul NEVER sleeps on my legs on the couch. Either he knows I called the shelter or he is very upset I'm speaking to the cat outside but here he is
(rain_oubliette crocheted the shawl he's sitting on)

And speaking of outside kitty he's in the nest I made him. He was all curled up but i couldn't take the pic thru my window screen. I was trying not to wake him up. He has intense eyes. I may talk to the vet and see if she'll try to place him being a kitten and all.

The original Star Wars is on. I know every word but it still helps my mood every time i see it.

38811 / 50000 words. 78% done!