Today was the worst

Nothing went right from the challenges of super high sugar, aging bladder and struggles to get to the side of the bed to mysterious claim update emails that I can't get into, to the failure to climb stairs to hurting my knee to the day long weep fest

I tried at the stairs. I got one badly then froze. I'm sorry. I froze and I couldn't move my foot. Literally froze. The therapist looked at me scornfully and said you better build a ramp and took me away. No second try. Then she made me walk. I did okay then something popped on the good side of that knee. I screamed and nearly fell. It's still killing me.

The OT took me to the therapy room and tried to get me into the shower. I froze again. Why are you having a panic attack? Oh if I knew the answer to that I'd be a billionaire. That's wwhy they're called panic attacks. I DID do it but it took me some sobbing and fear. I'm working through it.

I struggled to stand and otherwise I've been made to feel worthless. The PA gave me meds.

I did get shit done at work. Now the students are panicking. And then MY class sends an email and it looks like I'm going to fail because I'm behind. I thought I had weeks to do this. I didn't realize I was that behind.

I did get a gift from mom and an unexpected gift from my BFF from med school, a t-shirt reading I survived knee surgery what's your super power. SHe thought it would be too big (xxL) but it's SO small I'm not even sure it would fit my dad (who asks are you trying your hardest? No dad I'm half assing it)

i'm so depressed I don't even care about Prodigal Son.

ETA - Best Pson in ages. I want to write all the shippy fic.