I can't stop crying

Today is hard. I didn't sleep much. Had mild panic attacks over nothing all night so that left me drained.

So all day I kept breaking into tears. I just can't handle the pain. It feels the same as it did the moment I woke up post operatively. Yes it's less swollen. Yes it healed beautifully skin wise (minus that one pin hole) but I feel like I will never get better. I'm drowning in that feeling.

Not even work is distracting me. I've kept this Prodigal Son gif up so I have something soft and warm to look at.

I'm doing my exercises. I'm not giving up. I met with OT today but she agreed she's not needed, I can do all the stuff myself except getting into the shower but that's because of how my parents' shower/tubs are.

I do have good things of course like the journal and stickers from Spikedluv, the kawaii coloring book and snacks from Kiramaru.

Sorry this is so depressing