It's a struggle

[cornerofmadness]

I've been saying for a while now my school is suffering. The truth is all colleges are and covid is making it worse you can see more here.

If I were younger, there'd be no question. I'd bail and go back into health care, probably as a PA. That still might happen but I'm in my 50s. I don't want to go back to school. I still owe about a half million in student loans thanks to med school. My health isn't great.

Teaching is good for me in that respect. I dont' know what to do if the job goes away. I seriously don't. I've never been in a lab situation. Biology isn't a degree that leads to jobs in a way unless it's teaching or a lab. I looked into morgue assistant but the pay is absolute shit for hard and kinda gross work. I thought about science writing but my tech writing class is 30 years in my past if not more.



And I don't really have time right now to look at what other possibilities there are while I have to move these classes online and to top it off, my coworkers are whining so hard, I really don't want to go down there. I'm going to try and upload vids from here because that's how much I do not want to see these people.

I wish I were either 10 years older or younger, retire or retrain. I couldn't be at a worse age for this. Without insurance I'm pretty much dead. My meds are about 1500 a month, my student loans are that much too. so I'm 3 grand in a hole without paying a dime for rent, food etc. Insurance pays for the meds but without a job...

Of course reminding myself others have it worse isn't a help. Also probably shouldn't have picked today to try and do the sound track for my big bang because it's all suicidal ideation stuff.

And to top off this shitty day I heard for certain that Lucky Uncle has to have his big toe removed and somehow his surgery is scheduled for next week. I hope the hell he listens to Mom, Dad, ME. This can't wait. Wait and it could be the whole foot/leg. This is what I used to do. Trust me, Uncle, please.

Comments

[sylvanwitch]

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, and I hope he listens to your well-informed advice.

I also wish I had some words of comfort, but that would be presumptuous--you know your situation better than anyone. I will say that I'm hoping you'll find something to fasten your hope upon. Recognizing as I do that depression robs us of perspective, I'm still saying this: You matter. Your life matters. I, for one, would miss your regular offerings of snark and fandom squee.

[cornerofmadness]

Thanks all around. I appreciate it.

It would be one thing if it was just MY school in trouble but to have them all in this pickle, that's scary

[aaronlisa]

I hope that your Uncle listens to you.

((HUGS)) I wish I could offer more than hugs and good thoughts. Know that I am here to listen if you ever need to vent. I really hope that things get better with your job security. And I am sorry that you're having to deal with people whining about it.

[cornerofmadness]

Thanks me too

And thanks, honestly academics are the whinest bunch of people I've ever met

[thenewbuzwuzz]

Yikes. *big hugs*

[cornerofmadness]

thank you

[rahirah]

:hugs:

[cornerofmadness]

thank you