Beginning to think I'm not as good as I pretend to be

[cornerofmadness]

My mental health is not that good. It'll get worse I think being home, with this heat, with everything that is going on. Trying to hold on. I did look at Better Health online but it ranges between 60-80$ a session but it's also not covered by insurance. sigh.

Speaking of which I had it out with the hospital today after getting FOUR different bills for different prices and they told me i had no payment program. Bull fucking shit. I did it in person. She insisted that is impossible. They don't meet in person. Yes you did. She says well I see you've been paying 100$ a month since April 2021. Yeah when you guys set up the payment program. And for that matter they still say I owe almost the same I owed back then. I need to sit down with the itemized bill to figure this out because they were clueless. Also for some reason I owed nearly 800$ for the vascular surgeon THIS year so I'm wondering if they're not in network and if so why did my insurance not inform me of this (because that means I'll have to find one who is and I hate that because I like this guy). Then I tried to check with my HSA account which has been marked dormant? Im like HOW? It gets money put in and taken out every month. This took half the morning to fix.

I did finally get most of the stuff packed. I have no enthusiasm for this. I got the kitchen cleaned. I feel like I Have way too much stuff packed (and I do). I talked to the neighbors about watering and feeding Rocket. That I couldn't do better makes me sad.

Then the internet and phone died. Thankfully they're back about 3 hours later. Who knows why.

How about the reading meme?


What I Just Finished Reading:

Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki FINALLY done. It's not a bad book. It might even be brilliant (trans lead by trans author) but I could not connect with anyone and it was about violin music, one of my favorite things. It's also a mash up of urban fantasy (selling your soul for music) and Sci-Fi.

Man-Killer - a totally non-sourced 'true crime' about a woman in Australia who skinned her ex and tried to feed him to his kids. I think they watched an episode of Deadly Women. Twice they tried to do it from the killer's pov in the most tawdry parts.

What I am Currently Reading:

Riot Most Uncouth. It's funny I do NOT like RealPerson Fanfic at all and yet I keep reading mysteries that are essentially that. This one has a young Lord Byron as the detective. He's so obnoxious, I'm not sure I can finish it.
Also reading Lander by J. Scott Coatsworth, queer SF book two in a series.



What I Plan to Read Next:

something for popsugar (almost done)


declutter day 9 what left :A black cat Halloween stuffie Why kept: A friend gave it to me Why left: Honestly I thought it ugly and it sat in a bag for like 3 years

Comments

[ysilme]

That's a lot of suck heaped on your shoulders! I'm so sorry you're bothered with all of this, and without any easy solution in sight.
***hugs***

[cornerofmadness]

thanks so much

[spikedluv]

I'm sorry that your mental health is suffering right now.

I would be so frustrated with the hospital and their billing. And the internet that keeps going out.

I hope you end up having a nice trip/visit.

[cornerofmadness]

THanks so far so good

[sperrywink]

Oh, man. How frustrating and disspiriting. I do hope your mental health improves, but it sounds like a trying time, so just {{{hugs}}}

[cornerofmadness]

Thanks so much

[under_the_silk_tree]

Trying to figure out medical billing can be so frustrating. Hopefully you will be able to get things squared away.

I'm sorry about your mental health. I've looked into online therapy like Better Health before, but it seems like none of the companies take insurance which makes it very cost prohibitive. Hopefully you will be able to find something.

I hope your trip is a good one!

[cornerofmadness]

thanks

yeah without health care coverage it's way more expensive than it's value to me is likely to be